How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests
Pages: 1
Horror Logline (currently 466 views)
ChrisV
Posted: September 15th, 2020, 12:14pm
New
Posts 42
Posts Per Day 0.02
This is based on my Horror Short "Bee-El"
I would love feedback
eldave1
Posted: September 15th, 2020, 4:15pm
January Project Group
Location Southern California
Posts 6874
Posts Per Day 1.93
Reply: 1 - 4
Pale Yellow
Posted: September 18th, 2020, 8:31pm
January Project Group
Posts 2083
Posts Per Day 1.38
Reply: 2 - 4
Lon
Posted: September 21st, 2020, 8:19am
New
Location Louisville
Posts 403
Posts Per Day 0.06
I'm iffy on it. It's got a hook, but it feels incomplete. I see the main character (young girl) and I see the inciting incident (finds a monster in the closet). But what I don't see is a goal or need, and it's blurry what the stakes may be.
Also -- and this is just my own personal quirk so do with it what you will -- I'm not a fan of log lines presented as questions. At best they feel evasive; at worst, condescending. The reader doesn't need you to ask their question for them.
A log line's purpose is to intrigue. I'm not so much intrigued by this as mildly flummoxed. Give me more to go on.
My two cents.
Reply: 3 - 4
EricP
Posted: October 31st, 2020, 5:49pm
Posts 18
Posts Per Day 0.01
This is based on my Horror Short "Bee-El"
I would love feedback
In my opinion, I'd do away with the question. End the logline with a proposition/true statement for the audience to think about. For example.
"Something lives in Julia's closet. It is feeding off her desire to hurt others. Sometimes the evil we see isn’t always the worst kind of evil there is."
Reply: 4 - 4
Pages: 1
Board Index › Review My Logline previous | next ]Switch to: News Questions or Comments Site Redesign Screenwriting Class Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort Review My Logline Script Review Exchange My Work In Progress Contests - Screenwriting and Filmmaking Writing Opportunities and Call for Scripts The 2020 Writers' Tournament The 2019 Writers' Tournament The 2018 Writers' Tournament The Business Of Scripts Queries and Pitches Options and Contracts Agents, Managers, and Lawyers Copyright Action/Adventure Scripts Comedy Scripts Drama Scripts Dramedy Scripts Family Scripts Horror Scripts Romantic Comedy Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts Series Thriller Scripts Western Scripts Short Scripts Short Action / Adventure Scripts Short Comedy Scripts Short Drama Scripts Short Dramedy Scripts Short Horror Short Romantic Comedy Scripts Short Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts Short Family Scripts Short Thriller Scripts Short Western Radio and Stage Plays 1Q '24 OWC Halloween 2023 One Week Challenge September '23 OWC August '23 OWC July 2023 OwC April '23 OWC A 'Quickie' Challenge Halloween 2022 One Week Challenge Summer Quickie April 2022 OWC One Queue Twenty-Two The Placeholder 2021 Challenge December 2021 One Week Challenge November, 2021 OWC The Halloween 2021 One Week Challenge The September 2021 OWC The August 2021 OWC The July, 2021 OWC The June 2021 Challenge The May 2021 Challenge The April 2021 Challenge February, 2021 One Week Challenge December 2020 One Week Challenge Halloween 2020 One Week Challenge September, 2020 One Week Challenge June, 2020 One Week Challenge May, 2020 Challenge March Challenge January 2020 - One Week Challenge October, 2019 One Week Challenge The August Challenge April, 2019 One Week Challenge January 2019 - One Week Challenge The Night Gallery 7 Week Challenge October 2018 One Week Challenge July 2018 One Week Challenge May 2018 One Week Challenge January 2018 Two Week Challenge October 2017 One Week Challenge The Quickie Challenge July 2017 OWC April 2017 OWC Scarefest Script Club January 2017 One Week Challenge October 2K16 One Week Challenge August 2016 One Week Challenge April 2016 OWC January 2016 OWC October 2015 One Week Challenge 2015 7 Week Challenge May, 2015 One Week Challenge February 2015 One Week Challenge October 2014 One Week Challenge 2014 One + 6 Week Challenge April 2014 One Week Challange January 2014 - One Week Challenge October 2013 One Week Challenge July 2013 One Week Challenge March, 2013 1+6WC End of the World One Week Challenge October 2012 One Week Challenge February 2012 OWC December, 2011 Urban Legend OWC October, 2011 One Week Challange September 2011 One Week Challenge June 2011 One Week Challenge February 2011 One Week Challenge October, 2010 One Week Challenge May 2010 One Week Challenge February, 2010 One Week Challenge October, 2009 One Week Challenge August 2009 One Week Challenge April, 2009 One Week Challenge January, 2009 Two Week Challenge October, 2008 One Week Challenge July 08 One Week Challenge February, 2008 One Week Challenge October '07 One Week Challenge Short Sci Fi - January 07 One Week Challenge July/August 2007 One Week Challenge Short Comedy - April '07 One Week Challenge Short Horror - October 06 One Week Challenge Movie, Television and DVD Reviews Script Reviews Music Reviews and Discussion General Chat Movie/Television Rumor Books Poetry Getting to know you, getting to know all about you... Things you are looking for March Madness 2018 Stephen King - All about the King Fiction– There Are Other Worlds than These Non-Fiction - To Write is Human, to Edit is Divine Adaptations – Here’s Johnny! Stephen King Collectors and Shelfies
Forum Rules
You may not post new threadsmay not post repliesmay not post pollsmay not post attachments HTML is on on on
Pages: 1
Author
Horror Logline
Logged
Locked Board