SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is February 28th, 2024, 4:45pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Produced Script Database (Updated!)
Scripts of the One Week Challenge.


Scripts studios are posting for award consideration-->

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  Off Limits
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Off Limits  (currently 238 views)
Don
Posted: October 16th, 2022, 6:22pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
16340
Posts Per Day
1.94
Off Limits by Bernard Antoine Mersier - Short, Drama, Mystery - A serial rapist has claimed his nineteenth victim, but that doesn’t stop Sydney from trying to find true love. When Russel, her coworker invites her on a date, she gladly accepts, blocking out the death of her first love. 11 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.

-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  February 14th, 2023, 3:09pm
revised draft
Logged Offline
Site Private Message
Shakespeare on Toast
Posted: October 17th, 2022, 5:49am Report to Moderator
New


Challenging the status quo and pushing boundaries

Location
London. England
Posts
270
Posts Per Day
0.47
An enjoyable read Bernard. I really didn't see that denouement at all.

So hear are my thoughts:

Your screenplay format was concise and pleasantly easy to read through.

I just thought some of the dialogue was contrived.

Why don't you show us what happened to her boyfriend instead of telling us?

Both your characters were hilariously vile though.

Nice finish.


“Asking for comments can sometimes be a disaster .”

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Shakespeare on Toast  -  October 17th, 2022, 9:42am
Logged Online
Private Message Reply: 1 - 1
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Drama Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006