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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  Off Limits
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Don
Posted: October 16th, 2022, 6:22pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Off Limits by Bernard Antoine Mersier - Short, Drama - A woman grieving the loss of her true love decides to give love another chance when her co-worker invites her on date, disregarding the serial rapist on the loose who has claimed his nineteenth victim.  12 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Stoneyscript
Posted: October 17th, 2022, 5:49am Report to Moderator
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An enjoyable read Bernard. I really didn't see that denouement at all.

So hear are my thoughts:

Your screenplay format was concise and pleasantly easy to read through.

I just thought some of the dialogue was contrived.

Why don't you show us what happened to her boyfriend instead of telling us?

Both your characters were hilariously vile though.

Nice finish.

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Stoneyscript  -  October 17th, 2022, 9:42am
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