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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  Off Limits
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  Author    Off Limits  (currently 238 views)
Posted: October 16th, 2022, 6:22pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

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Off Limits by Bernard Antoine Mersier - Short, Drama, Mystery - A serial rapist has claimed his nineteenth victim, but that doesn’t stop Sydney from trying to find true love. When Russel, her coworker invites her on a date, she gladly accepts, blocking out the death of her first love. 11 pages - pdf format

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Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  February 14th, 2023, 3:09pm
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Shakespeare on Toast
Posted: October 17th, 2022, 5:49am Report to Moderator

Challenging the status quo and pushing boundaries

London. England
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An enjoyable read Bernard. I really didn't see that denouement at all.

So hear are my thoughts:

Your screenplay format was concise and pleasantly easy to read through.

I just thought some of the dialogue was contrived.

Why don't you show us what happened to her boyfriend instead of telling us?

Both your characters were hilariously vile though.

Nice finish.

“Asking for comments can sometimes be a disaster .”

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Shakespeare on Toast  -  October 17th, 2022, 9:42am
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