A Happy Life by Brandi Self - Short, Drama - A gay man begins to question his relationship with his husband after an especially trying visit with his homophobic father. 13 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

A powerful, realistic drama with powerful, realistic characters and dialog. Nice.

The only problem I had was in the scene with John and Deep eating lunch, Deep seems to hear his father's hateful words ringing in his ears. It took me a moment and a few passes to figure that out. Perhaps you need to type a little more slowly because I don't read all that fast.

All joking aside, it may have helped if you had added an action line indicating what is going on. While technically correct and accurate with just the (VO), some of us C students need a little help with clarity, just like I need to be told that my shirt is inside out.

In the end I did get it so I'm pretty sure the A students who read this will have no problem getting it as well.