The Patron of Gravedigger's Pub by Damien Aulsberry (Damien Aulsberry) writing as Duane Pipe - Short, Drama - It's hard to keep a good man down. - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Ahoy Duane-- Hmm.. wasn't too familiar with this legend, so I read up on it. Interesting that pub has been standing since 1833 I believe. If we're ever up that way, I'd definitely drop in for a beer...   

Anywaz this was pretty creepy.... that ending got me. A joy to read. No nitpicks. Best of Irish luck! -A

Dear Duane Pipe,
for the craic. I can imagine Dave Allen grinning as he tells this, whilst brushing fag ash off his trousers from his high chair. It's a softer spookiness. Excellent -JtF

Neat history for a pub! My first time hearing of it. No notes here. Very well written and has quite the charm to it. That’s an end quote worth cheers-ing over.

This one was on my list of potentials, glad I didn't as you did a really nice job with it.

I'd have liked more about the UL and our characters and less about the joke (though it was funny) as I think there's more potential here for creepiness.

But decent effort

Never heard of this legend before, creepy and unnervingly intriguing to be honest. Makes you wonder if death is really just a milestone everyone has to experience before they can actually get on with the life they’ve always wanted to have. No work, no taxes, no naggin’ spouse, and of course… no worry about what’s on the other side, cause you’re already there.

Joke was funny, never heard that before either so I don’t know if you cooked it up for the story or it’s an oldie but a goodie from your neck of the woods, or in this case… local pub next to the boneyard.

Writing’s tight and the story kept me engaged with a “whoa, didn’t see that coming!� ending, so definitely works well for the challenge. Best of luck.

I found this one to be pretty heartfelt. Never heard of the legend though, but the joke was pretty good.

I didn't find that creepy. Quite charming in fact. It was a nice tale and I enjoyed it.

-Mark

Very nice and loved the joke. I 'kinda' saw it coming but it's 'how' you wrote the reveal that made this little tale so enjoyable. This is a UL that is better not known before reading, of course. I would've loved some sort of interaction with another patron to see if they could see/feel Matty's presence or only Thomas, as the barkeep.

Good work - thanks for playing, Mr. Pipe!

Dang it! Another favorite!  How am I ever going to decide between all these awesome tales?  The first thing I had to do was Google what a "High Nellie" was, so tip-off number one, the author must be a Brit.  That will help narrow down my guessing LOL.  I also liked the hint of the ghostly nature of Matty in that he shows up every year on Halloween...but never at Christmas.  Very clever.  This is another piece that is so well-written that I really have nothing to add other than, great job!  Another pleasure to read.  Thanks for a fun tale and like others, I loved that last quote!  

Duane Pipe,

Interesting that the title of the script and the title of the thread don't match?

Either way, cutesy little story here. Loved the joke, and the interaction. I kind of had a feeling that Matty was dead all along, unfortunately. Still, was a great little tale that I thoroughly enjoyed.

All said and done,

Sean

Hello Duane,

Simple and effective.
I could see it playing in my head.


Loved it !!!

This is the first OWC entry I've read so far and I liked it a lot.

Cons are trivial:

- I felt it lacked some clarity and had to read it a couple times to be sure(?) of the setup, etc.
- the dialogue could use another pass for grammar, punctuation, etc.

Pros:

- This is a genuinely "nice" story. Very amiable, albeit in a melancholy kind of way. No serial killers, no monsters, no slaughtered teens, no blood, guts and gore.
- It doesn't insult the audience by trying to set up a — GASP! — Big Reveal.
- It's nicely written, with good flow and natural-feeling dialogue.

Quoted from ghost and_ghostie gal Ahoy Duane-- Hmm.. wasn't too familiar with this legend, so I read up on it. Interesting that pub has been standing since 1833 I believe. If we're ever up that way, I'd definitely drop in for a beer... -A

Sacrilege. Surely you mean a pint of Guinness?  

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thedublinpublopedia.com/blog/gravediggers%3fformat=amp

I really like this. Nothing startling but a good yarn and you knew how to tell it Having spent a lot of time in Eire it appealed to my sensibilities... And no-one got their head lopped off.

I'm pretty sure I know who wrote it too. Well done.

Duane Pipe.  

Quoted from LC Sacrilege. Surely you mean a pint of Guinness?

Oops! My bad...