Wrath Incarnate by Mike Childress - Short, Sci Fi, Fantasy - A mild-mannered data entry specialist stuck in a humdrum life has his world turned upside-down after a road rage incident transforms him into a being able to absorb ambient anger. He must cap this raw, dark power before it consumes, and ultimately, destroys him. 19 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

The opening scene ought to resonate with many a driver. Every commuter's fantasy.

Much of the description reads a little too florid for my taste, although others may feel differently.

You capitalize MILES NEWTON to intro the character and use his full name in the character titles, but usually only refer to him as "Miles" in your action lines. You could instead introduce him as MILES Newton and reduce the character name to just MILES.

There are a few grammar and punctuation issues that are worth resolving. For instance, "Mile's":

Mike, Mike's, Neal, Neal's, Miles, Miles's.

I babble a lot of nonsense to myself while driving alone, but even so I feel that Miles's own solo driver dialogue doesn't quite ring true.

I will read this later cause I love ideas like this.
Suffice to say at the moment on top of DBs comment - look at Matheson's "Duel" (Spielberg) - David Mann talks to himself behind the wheel quite a bit, but not excessively.

The script is available.

Logline is a bit iffy, could do with being pared back a bit..

This was truly riveting. After reading the little quote at the start, it made the narrative easier to understand, if you get my gist.  All that anger has to go somewhere, right?

I immediately thought of Clark Kent - Superman. Or the Hulk. There is something that makes you want more, isn't there? I like your descriptions and the dialogue throughout. All makes sense. Voice overs I usually use italics, just because it feels right to me.

Lets just hope this happens to a few people in real life - no names mentioned. ha!

Nicely timed ending too.  Fully enjoyed this read, Thanks for posting. Grrr.....

All,

Thanks for the input, much appreciated.

Shakespeare on Toast: Many thanks. I got the idea for this and was like, "This is not The Hulk, this is not The Hulk..." The impetus of Miles' power is others' anger, but like Bruce (or David) the power is amplified by rage.