Haunted Houses by Daren Higham (Wolfsfang) - Series, Horror - A fictional real-life ghost hunt takes place at Hampton House. - doc, format

Yippee it's finally up, cheers Don.  Just to let everybody know I am almost finished writing part two which I will submit asap.  I hope you enjoy my script and appreciate any comments you care to make, good or bad.

I just noticed, both my scripts that have been uploaded have a 3 star rating on the front of the site and a smiley with shades on the discussion board.  That's good, isn't it?

Yes that is good. I am going to read this now.

Okay i am not gonna lie to you. I will divide this in two sections.

GOOD NEWS- The house. The way i pictured the house and all the rooms were done well. I could picture each room and senses if something happened there. Is that a good thing? Yes. Each character has his own job and none of them are wasted. I also like that.

BAD NEWS- The rest was totally unbelieveable. Even on ghost hunters (tv show) they have like 10 mins just researching the house before they go inside. This i think you should do. This also seemed to me like a walk thru haunted house that you would go on in Halloween. Something in every room cheesey or not. The cup moving was a good idea though. The dialoge also needs some work. Actually the whole cup scene (door shuts, etc.) i enjoyed. So that is something good. If this were to be a TV show i would not be that scared. I would feel like i have been ripped off. Harsh but true. Maybe you should re-do this with about 5 pages in the beginning of research and what not. Just so you can get a minor feel for each person.

I will read your next one. No doubt on that. I do believe this can turn out to be a great series.,

Andrew

I already have this rewritten with some of the additions and changes you suggest I just wanted to see what people thought of the first draft.  If others agree with you I will post the rewite.

Okay. Well for the first draft i must say good job. With some changes here and there you could make this a decent series.

Andrew

A fictional real-life ghost hunt...?

Is it fictional or real life?


Phil

Arent most ghost hunts fictional? lol. But i would say it is done like real life.

Its fictional. neither Hampton House or the presenters exist, its all in my head.  The idea is to make a fictional ghost hunt show that if filmed people would believe is real, like the ghost watch show from couple of years back or that infamous war of the worlds news broadcast that got america in a panic.

Weird, I felt like I didn't get enough sense of the house. I agree with you though Andrew that it needs more build up before the haunted stuff starts full on, whether thats ten minutes of 'research' or just them going through a few rooms where nothing happens.

I disagree though it was totally unbelievable, just a little rushed. And I liked the majority of the dialogue, it sounded like the cheesy lines they actually come out with on this type of reality programme.

Sorry, very slow posting, my last one was meant to go underneath Andrews comments. Its a fake reality show yeah, though like I said Wolfsfang I wasn't sure whether it was supposed to be 'live' or edited, think you need to make it clearer either way cos I'm guessing thats where the confusion is coming from.

Okay I've listened to your views and thought, how about I extend it to an hour long show with some scenes showing the characters talking about the show in a studio and giving more history on the house and its inhabitants.  

Of course that would mean a major rewrite and you would have to wait longer for part two as that also would have to be altered.

I was actually gonna suggest you extend it to an hour each episode to build tension and get all the background stuff in. Think you could do some interesting stuff with the studio segments, it would add a bit of validity to the feed from the house.

In case you are wondering what is happening I have had computer problems for the past month but don't worry I will be posting a brand New HAUNTED HOUSES shortly.