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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Arkham Asylum Moderators: bert
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  Author    Arkham Asylum  (currently 1748 views)
Don
Posted: April 9th, 2005, 7:48am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Arkham Asylum by Michael Cornell - Short, Drama - Frank Vernon is new to Gotham city. And his new job. interviewing inmates at the most dangerous asylum on the planet. His first nut. Edward Nygma, The Riddler - pdf, format


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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
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Don  -  April 9th, 2005, 7:50am
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ChipPollo
Posted: March 5th, 2006, 4:19pm Report to Moderator
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I read this one last night but didn't get a chance to comment on it until today. First off, I wanna say I enjoyed this. It kept me reading. Was the Riddler being sarcastic when he said he had never realised his name sounded like Enigma? Also, the dialogue directly after there seems a little unnatural in a few spots. The guy telling the Riddler to stop being so annoyed seemed out of place to me. I'm looking forward to the next one. Zsasz is a very interesting character. Keep up the good work
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ChipPollo
Posted: March 5th, 2006, 4:32pm Report to Moderator
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Also, I noticed the way you wrote it they don't say much to each other. A few sentances usually back and forth. Do you intend for the dialogue to be delivered at kind of a fast pace kind Howard Hawks style?
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Helio
Posted: March 6th, 2006, 8:07am Report to Moderator
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Hi Michael, I realy did'nt read all your script, just 15 pages. It had too much dialogues and I think it is not for Radio, but for film. I'm sorry. I hope to find other script by you in order to read.
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TheUsualSuspect
Posted: April 19th, 2006, 11:18pm Report to Moderator
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I surprisingly enjoyed this very much. I look forward to more additions.


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If you want me to read your script, send me a link.
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dogglebe
Posted: April 20th, 2006, 1:12pm Report to Moderator
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I don't understand this script at all, Mike.  What is Frank supposed to be doing at Arkham?  His questions lack any sense of direction.  They were like questions a cub reporter might have asked.

In regards to the Riddler's character, I don't think you caught it.  He always had a bit of an ego; I can't see him answering such pedestrian questions from such a dullard as Frank.  He gave in too easily to Riddler's command to call him Riddler.  Health care professionals wouldn't do that; it only reinforces the patients' problems.

BTW, did you name him Frank after Frank Gorshin?  Just wondering....

I've never understood why the Riddler belonged in Arkham.  He's not crazy.  Having a little OCD is not reason enough to put him in an institution.


Phil
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zer00
Posted: May 10th, 2007, 3:41pm Report to Moderator
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Frank was taken from Frank gorshin and Vernon was taken from...Mount Vernon.

Quoted from ChipPollo
I read this one last night but didn't get a chance to comment on it until today. First off, I wanna say I enjoyed this. It kept me reading. Was the Riddler being sarcastic when he said he had never realised his name sounded like Enigma? Also, the dialogue directly after there seems a little unnatural in a few spots. The guy telling the Riddler to stop being so annoyed seemed out of place to me. I'm looking forward to the next one. Zsasz is a very interesting character. Keep up the good work


Sarcastic he was being.

I know it felt a little unnatural. I never got around to writing a second draft of it. I wrote it all on the fly in one sitting. I'm still planning to do another rewrite and then write episode 2.


Quoted from ChipPollo
Also, I noticed the way you wrote it they don't say much to each other. A few sentances usually back and forth. Do you intend for the dialogue to be delivered at kind of a fast pace kind Howard Hawks style?


Yeah I usually enjoy fast back and forth dialogue, I don't always write it that way but if I can come up with a good reason why it should be there I'll get it in. And I thought it just added to the sense of unpredictability.


I Killed Jason Todd And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt
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dogglebe
Posted: May 10th, 2007, 5:58pm Report to Moderator
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Let me see if I got this right, Mike.  You upload a script two years ago and finally come around to posting something?  And it's about your script?

Read some scripts here and review them.  That's how this site works.  Read scripts from those who reviewed your script.  That'd be a nice gesture of appreciation.



Phil
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zer00
Posted: June 29th, 2008, 2:21am Report to Moderator
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I actually have posted way more than once(twice counting this)

I just don't get around here very often...if at all

And some people are very busy, and move a lot, and are poor. So don't judge


I Killed Jason Todd And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt
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