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Mums in the zoo (currently 1601 views)
Don
Posted: November 5th, 2005, 9:31am
Administrator Administrator
So, what are you writing?
Location Virginia
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Mums in the zoo by Helio J Cordeiro - Short - After this we all have to think about what kind of place is a zoo. - pdf, format
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jerdol
Posted: November 5th, 2005, 1:16pm
Location Haifa, Israel
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With only one page of length (other than the title page), there's not much to review. Also, the script is very simple, with no dialogue to critique. So all that's really left is the idea:
Reply: 1 - 9
Helio
Posted: November 5th, 2005, 5:13pm
Old Timer
Better to die with vodka than with tedium!
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Thanks Jerdol for your mommet.
Reply: 2 - 9
-Ben-
Posted: November 5th, 2005, 7:53pm
New
Stop reading this and look above!
Location Nunya
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This seems to work better as an RSPCA advertisment to me..sorry.
Reply: 3 - 9
Helio
Posted: November 5th, 2005, 9:01pm
Old Timer
Better to die with vodka than with tedium!
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No problem, Bigwhoop. Maybe I'll donate it to them if they want of course and thanks for the regard!
Reply: 4 - 9
dogglebe
Posted: November 5th, 2005, 9:34pm
Guest User
It was nicely written for what it was. It works better as a sample of your story-telling techniques, rather than a story.
Reply: 5 - 9
Helio
Posted: November 6th, 2005, 7:13am
Old Timer
Better to die with vodka than with tedium!
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Wow! Thanks Dogglebe! You know, I've difficult to write in English. It is one of my great weaknesses. Sometime, I hesitated to send more script to this board because I 'm not sure about my English writing. Anyway, your comment makes me feel good and encouraged!
Reply: 6 - 9
Heretic
Posted: November 7th, 2005, 6:00pm
January Project Group
Location Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
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I think this could work well as a one-minute short for some of those contests (I enter one every year). Not an original idea but you wrote it nicely...
Reply: 7 - 9
Balt
Posted: November 7th, 2005, 6:20pm
Guest User
Rod Serling did this on a twilight zone he wrote... long... long... long ago. It was about kids who got to go to a zoo and pick the parents they wanted.
Reply: 8 - 9
Helio
Posted: November 8th, 2005, 3:03pm
Old Timer
Better to die with vodka than with tedium!
Posts 1284
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Rod Serling?!!! Gosh! Well I'm just a "wanna be" that's all. Thanks anyway.
Reply: 9 - 9
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