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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Red Carpet Moderators: bert
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  Author    Red Carpet  (currently 2746 views)
Don
Posted: December 3rd, 2005, 11:18am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Red Carpet by S. Aleksov - Short - {no summary} - doc, format


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-Ben-
Posted: December 3rd, 2005, 5:41pm Report to Moderator
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Stop reading this and look above!

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guess there isn't much to say. It seemed like just a bunch of subconscious imagry kinda like the "Ring" tape.

What's with on/off? Kinsda reminds me of Ike Wote Une.


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Shelton
Posted: December 3rd, 2005, 8:59pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients



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Quoted from -Ben-
What's with on/off? Kinsda reminds me of Ike Wote Une.


It kinda reminded me of that episode of the  'The Simpsons' where Moe changes the bar to a trendy nightclub.

Homer
What's with all the eyeballs?

Moe
It's Po Mo.

Lenny
What?

Moe
Post Modern?

Homer, Lenny, Carl, and Barney look on dumbfoundedly.

Moe
Alright, weird for the sake of weird.

That's exactly what this was.  Weird for the sake of weird.


Shelton's IMDb Profile

"I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper." - Steve Martin
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Curse
Posted: December 6th, 2005, 2:42pm Report to Moderator
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Acclaim RIP 1987-2004

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Thank-you for your reviews,

I was going for something strange, and somewhat freaky. I hope this is how it turned out to everyone.

Curse!


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Zombie Sean
Posted: December 7th, 2005, 12:00am Report to Moderator
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R.I.P.

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This was...creepy? It did remind me of the Ring tape like bihwhoop said. The thing that kind of creeped me out was the "On and off" voice. I imagined a little kid saying it, and little kids creep me out. I never really understood what it was...or why it was...or why it is called Red Carpet. But hey! A part creeped me out!


Find all my scripts here

Read my novel and my novella
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BigBadBrian
Posted: December 8th, 2005, 10:50am Report to Moderator
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All I can say is that I had every visual of it in my mind as I read. Great job.
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dogglebe
Posted: December 8th, 2005, 11:52am Report to Moderator
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Comparing it to The Ring is not good because the tape in The Ring was only a part of the film.  This is just a bunch of images.

If you want to simply put visuals into words, then I recommend you write poetry.  Screenwriting isn't the right medium for you.  Was this supposed to mean something?


Phil
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bert
Posted: December 8th, 2005, 9:03pm Report to Moderator
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Buy the ticket, take the ride

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Hey Curse.  I might be the only person in world who appreciated your version of EDT, and generally, I think you write well above your age level -- especially when I look at some of the cr*p churned out by board members that have a couple of years on you (but let's not mention any names).

But this one?  Eh....not so much.  The "on and off" is wonderful.  I love it.  Honestly.  But that is really the only thing this little fantasy piece has going for it.  The comparisons to the "Ring" tape are right on, but dogglebe's point is also well taken.

Standing alone, this piece has no point to it.

You format well, and are developing a good understanding of the craft.  Save these kind of stories for the young hacks out there writing "Ip uked up" or whatever the hell that was called.


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
bert  -  December 8th, 2005, 9:07pm
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dogglebe
Posted: December 8th, 2005, 9:27pm Report to Moderator
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Bert, I think the script you're referring to is called 'If ucked up.'


Phil
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greg
Posted: December 8th, 2005, 10:22pm Report to Moderator
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Oh Hi

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I have no idea.  I wasn't creeped out, I couldn't find a deeper meaning, but I was very confused.  This is like a montage and I don't think is something that should be posted on a public site.  It's only 2 pages!

For 13, though, you are a good 2 or 3 years ahead of where everyone else is.  Your structure and overall ability to write a script is far more along than where I was at age 13.  Right now I think you need to focus on developing a good story and make it entertaining to read, which is one of the cons of being a 13 year old writer.  Avoid these 2 pagers.  I'd say 7 is the minimum.

Good luck on future shtuff.


Be excellent to each other
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BigBadBrian
Posted: December 15th, 2005, 12:34am Report to Moderator
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This is a very odd short I've got here on my hands. I don't know why, but this disturbs me in ways. On/off... The dancing woman or whatever it was. The wrist cutting. You got me a little with this.
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Jonathan Terry
Posted: December 15th, 2005, 9:08pm Report to Moderator
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Well, um...wow.  I've said it once and I'll say it again.  Please don't smoke the wacky weed and write.  For ths sake of us all!!!  :p


Newest Scripts

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-Ben-
Posted: December 16th, 2005, 12:19am Report to Moderator
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Stop reading this and look above!

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Quoted Text
Please don't smoke the wacky weed and write.


Oh, wow, youre hilarious. Jokes about drugs are just "da bomb" these days, expecially when its a repeta of soemthing said form another thread. Brovo. *cough*


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Curse
Posted: December 18th, 2005, 1:58pm Report to Moderator
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Acclaim RIP 1987-2004

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Oh, people please stop arguing!

Hello!

Lots of people didn't really like this, I can understand why. If I was someone else, I probarbly wouldn't like it either.

It was just to be a small, twisted script that would make you think about the first thing that came to your mind.

That's all it was,

Curse!

P.S: There was no drug-taking in the process =)


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Helio
Posted: December 18th, 2005, 2:32pm Report to Moderator
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Better to die with vodka than with tedium!

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Curse,

It seemed to me a psychedelic piece with good strong images and I swear heard something like a mix of Ravi Shankar with Led Zeppelin’s Dazed and Contused.

good stuff!
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