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Red Carpet (currently 2746 views) |
Don |
Posted: December 3rd, 2005, 11:18am |
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AdministratorAdministrator  So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts17084 Posts Per Day 1.93 |
Red Carpet by S. Aleksov - Short - {no summary} - doc, format  |
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------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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-Ben- |
Posted: December 3rd, 2005, 5:41pm |
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New Stop reading this and look above!
LocationNunya Posts396 Posts Per Day 0.06 |
guess there isn't much to say. It seemed like just a bunch of subconscious imagry kinda like the "Ring" tape.
What's with on/off? Kinsda reminds me of Ike Wote Une. |
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Shelton |
Posted: December 3rd, 2005, 8:59pm |
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Of The Ancients 
LocationChicago Posts3289 Posts Per Day 0.46 |
What's with on/off? Kinsda reminds me of Ike Wote Une. |
It kinda reminded me of that episode of the 'The Simpsons' where Moe changes the bar to a trendy nightclub. HomerWhat's with all the eyeballs? MoeIt's Po Mo. LennyWhat? MoePost Modern? Homer, Lenny, Carl, and Barney look on dumbfoundedly. MoeAlright, weird for the sake of weird. That's exactly what this was. Weird for the sake of weird. |
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"I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper." - Steve Martin |
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Curse |
Posted: December 6th, 2005, 2:42pm |
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New  Acclaim RIP 1987-2004
LocationFYRO macedonia Posts102 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
Thank-you for your reviews,
I was going for something strange, and somewhat freaky. I hope this is how it turned out to everyone.
Curse! |
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Zombie Sean |
Posted: December 7th, 2005, 12:00am |
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Old Timer  R.I.P.
LocationI said Texas, she said What? Posts1639 Posts Per Day 0.23 |
This was...creepy? It did remind me of the Ring tape like bihwhoop said. The thing that kind of creeped me out was the "On and off" voice. I imagined a little kid saying it, and little kids creep me out. I never really understood what it was...or why it was...or why it is called Red Carpet. But hey! A part creeped me out! |
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BigBadBrian |
Posted: December 8th, 2005, 10:50am |
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New 
Posts63 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
All I can say is that I had every visual of it in my mind as I read. Great job. |
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dogglebe |
Posted: December 8th, 2005, 11:52am |
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Comparing it to The Ring is not good because the tape in The Ring was only a part of the film. This is just a bunch of images.
If you want to simply put visuals into words, then I recommend you write poetry. Screenwriting isn't the right medium for you. Was this supposed to mean something?
Phil
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bert |
Posted: December 8th, 2005, 9:03pm |
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Administrator Buy the ticket, take the ride
LocationThat's me in the corner Posts4247 Posts Per Day 0.58 |
Hey Curse. I might be the only person in world who appreciated your version of EDT, and generally, I think you write well above your age level -- especially when I look at some of the cr*p churned out by board members that have a couple of years on you (but let's not mention any names).
But this one? Eh....not so much. The "on and off" is wonderful. I love it. Honestly. But that is really the only thing this little fantasy piece has going for it. The comparisons to the "Ring" tape are right on, but dogglebe's point is also well taken.
Standing alone, this piece has no point to it.
You format well, and are developing a good understanding of the craft. Save these kind of stories for the young hacks out there writing "Ip uked up" or whatever the hell that was called. |
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Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown) |
bert - December 8th, 2005, 9:07pm | | |
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dogglebe |
Posted: December 8th, 2005, 9:27pm |
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Bert, I think the script you're referring to is called 'If ucked up.'
Phil |
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greg |
Posted: December 8th, 2005, 10:22pm |
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Old Timer  Oh Hi
LocationSan Diego, California Posts1678 Posts Per Day 0.23 |
I have no idea. I wasn't creeped out, I couldn't find a deeper meaning, but I was very confused. This is like a montage and I don't think is something that should be posted on a public site. It's only 2 pages!
For 13, though, you are a good 2 or 3 years ahead of where everyone else is. Your structure and overall ability to write a script is far more along than where I was at age 13. Right now I think you need to focus on developing a good story and make it entertaining to read, which is one of the cons of being a 13 year old writer. Avoid these 2 pagers. I'd say 7 is the minimum.
Good luck on future shtuff. |
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BigBadBrian |
Posted: December 15th, 2005, 12:34am |
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New 
Posts63 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
This is a very odd short I've got here on my hands. I don't know why, but this disturbs me in ways. On/off... The dancing woman or whatever it was. The wrist cutting. You got me a little with this. |
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Jonathan Terry |
Posted: December 15th, 2005, 9:08pm |
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New  Co-Founder of The ImagiNation
LocationSpartanburg, SC Posts149 Posts Per Day 0.02 |
Well, um...wow. I've said it once and I'll say it again. Please don't smoke the wacky weed and write. For ths sake of us all!!! :p |
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-Ben- |
Posted: December 16th, 2005, 12:19am |
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New Stop reading this and look above!
LocationNunya Posts396 Posts Per Day 0.06 |
Quoted Text Please don't smoke the wacky weed and write. |
Oh, wow, youre hilarious. Jokes about drugs are just "da bomb" these days, expecially when its a repeta of soemthing said form another thread. Brovo. *cough* |
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Curse |
Posted: December 18th, 2005, 1:58pm |
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New  Acclaim RIP 1987-2004
LocationFYRO macedonia Posts102 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
Oh, people please stop arguing!
Hello!
Lots of people didn't really like this, I can understand why. If I was someone else, I probarbly wouldn't like it either.
It was just to be a small, twisted script that would make you think about the first thing that came to your mind.
That's all it was,
Curse!
P.S: There was no drug-taking in the process =)
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Helio |
Posted: December 18th, 2005, 2:32pm |
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Old Timer Better to die with vodka than with tedium!
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Curse,
It seemed to me a psychedelic piece with good strong images and I swear heard something like a mix of Ravi Shankar with Led Zeppelin’s Dazed and Contused.
good stuff! |
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