The Definitive List of "Simply" Scripts

Since I decided to write one myself, I thought it would fun to go back and have a look at all the "Simply" scripts ever written - even the ones before my time here.   This is the list of those that I found, it's in chronological order.  The first ever was SimplyNoir.   If I've forgotten anything let me know.


SimplyNoir by Robert G. Newcomer & George Willson - Short, Film Noir - When Don is found brutally slain, it is up to Wesley, a fast-talking private dick, to crack the case.  Our apologies to those who do not appear.  Bigger apologies to those who do. - pdf, format 8)


SimplyScripts vs. The Giant Monster by Mike Shelton - Short, Comedy - When a botched lab experiment unleashes a giant monster, it's up to the gang at SimplyScripts to restore peace. - doc, format 8)


The Great Brain Robbery by Martin Lancaster - Short, Western - While all around him are losing their heads, Helio 'Hound Dog' Cordeiro must sober up and unravel the mystery of The Great Brain Robbery.  Apologies to everyone involved. Two birds, one stone and all that. - Entry for the January '06 One Week Writing Exercise Thing - pdf, format 8)


The Mystery of Simply Scripts by Andrew Roby - Short, Thriller - Don has been murdered and the murderer is on the loose. It is up for the two heroic men, Andrew Romance and Bert, to save the day and stop all the evil. Featuring over 10 people from the Simply Scripts gang. With a twist you will never forget. - html, format 8)


In Don We Trust by Steven Cameron (Wesley) - Adventure, Short, Comedy - Heretic is summoned by Don at SimplyScripts Mental Institution because Wesley is missing, nobody will ever be the same once this story is told. 40 pages - html, format 8)


Simply The Godfather by George Willson - Drama - An aging Don Admin intends to pass control of the SimplyScripts domain to one of the younger posters, Alan Holman, who just wants to live a quiet life with Banana Chan until he is drawn into the seedy underworld of the online script domains. 162 pages - rtf/pdf, format 8)



Man of a Thousand Masks by Christopher Reid- Short, Comedy - A man discovers that when he changes his avatar on his computer it's not the only thing that changes. 22 pages - rtf, format


Simply BBQ by Robert Glenn Newcomer - Short, Drama - The SimplyScripts family gathers for a dramatic barbeque that ends...poorly.     A July, 2006 One Week Writing Challenge Entry - pdf, format 8)


The Free Doughnuts Thread A collaborative thread that contains an on the fly script about Simply Scripters.


Food For Thought by Me and Jordan Weibe  (me and the boy who could fly)  writing as:  You and Them - Short, Sci Fi - In a world where food is scarce and crime is at its breaking point, a group of strangers discover a food source that turns into terror. 15 pages - pdf, format 8)


The Curious Case Against Sean Elwood by Robert Skotte (sniper) - Long Short, Comedy - In the land of Simply Scripts, Sean Elwood is about to have a very bad day. - pdf, format 8)


Pia's Package by Sean Elwood (thedeadwalk2nite) - Short, Comedy - One million dollars. Ten desperate men. One hot chick. Which are they more after, and how will they eliminate the competition? 28 pages - pdf, format 8)


A Very Simple Halloween Down Under by Steve McDonell (stevie) - Short, Comedy - Some of the SS crew head to Australia for Halloween. The party begins but something evil has followed. The killing begins...who will live and who will die? 42 pages pdf  - pdf, format 8)


Through The Fur Trap, Simply by Anonymous - Comedy, Other - A group of Simply Scripts members are teleported into a script written by Usaking. Can they satisfy the Great Vagina and return home in time to stop a public reading of the script? 76 pages - pdf, format 8)


WIP Threads  Not as interesting but here for completeness.

Yet another Simply Scripts tale

Simply Script based threads

The Simply Scripts Series

Simply Ghosthunters

This is amazing, Michael!!!

Thank you so much for putting this together. I've been thinking a lot about Simply as a "place" and the people here are very dear to me so these scripts will be fun to place inside of a folder, enjoy, and work with.

Sandra

The best part about these scripts as a whole is that they give you a kind of overview of what was going on on the boards at the time they were written. You get a snapshot of some of the members and while they don't always portray the true character of the people they are based on, they occasionally have pieces of those people thrown in or some aspect of their personality.

For the ones I had a part in, SimplyNoir did make an effort to capture some of the more poignant aspects of the people in it in either dialogue or situation. Simply the Godfather was part casting, part situation, and part I-just-wanted-someone-to-fill-the-role. This was particular true for the female parts, since (let's face it) The Godfather is one of those "boy movies."

So if you want to get to know people or find out what the hell we're talking about sometimes, these scripts can occasionally give you an idea.

Great list, Michael.

I just picked out one randomly to read - Simply BBQ. Bloody funny stuff! I didn't know some of the names as they are no longer on site, but i thought it was well done.

Highlight? The sauce in the chicken!!!     Good job, bert.

Man of a Thousand Masks by Christopher Reid- Short, Comedy - A man discovers that when he changes his avatar on his computer it's not the only thing that changes. 22 pages - rtf, format

I'm glad people don't think of me enough to put me in these anymore.

When the original was pushed into my life, it captured a character that was amusing and started the whole "Private Dick" thing.

With the latest one. if these scripts are about the characterization of a person based on posting why have three generic lines in the script under my name and not even try to put some joke or even a ha-ha as reference to the original character?

That's my thoughts.

Actually W, you're in mine.

Quoted from mcornetto Actually W, you're in mine.

That's the one I'm talking about and you didn't do anything with me. My thought is I've given you almost 7 years of material, make a joke or reference regarding the person or they are just in there for no good reason.

Honestly when it is just a small three line cameo as it was something should have been happening to know who it is.

Obviously for you, what's the point since it is such a small part but regarding the use of SS members in a script the dialogue and or actions should directly relate to that person so people know who he/she is.

Even the smallest cameo should reflect the person in some way.

That's how you nit pick ha-ha

Ah! But you mostly make cameo appearances on the boards lately.   And I thought I maybe caught a little bit of your character with your part.  

But if I ever do such a thing again, I'll be sure to give you a bigger role.   I think there's some wise words that need to be said after that. Hmmm. What were they? Be careful what you wish for. That's them!  

I've been asking since SimplyNoir for a love interest... so far my only one has been Alan and I wrote that.

These scripts have a heart and are usually entertaining because people don't take them too serious.

Quoted from stevie I just picked out one randomly to read - Simply BBQ. Bloody funny stuff! I didn't know some of the names as they are no longer on site, but i thought it was well done. Good job, bert.

Oh, man -- some of you newer guys may find this downright impossible, but after a while, you do kind of lose track of what you have on the boards.

I had not even thought of "Simply BBQ" in a year or so, and went back to look myself.  It was a OWC for a Drama at a family BBQ, and it kind of bent the rules a bit, but whatever.

It is amazing how quickly these things become dated.  Same deal with SimplyNoir -- like George says, a snapshot of one point in time.

It would be nice if there was some way to impart the true wonder that was Dan Robinson -- or the joy of Balt's old, discarded catch-phrases -- and then there was everybody's pal Pepi haha.  Some things are best left a mystery.

I have not had a chance yet to check out some of the newer ones.  I hope to have some time around the holidays to do so.  I hear I make an appearance.

If I have not left comments, it is simply because I have not looked -- not because I am offended in some way.  It is flat-out impossible to offend me in one of these scripts.  Just putting that out there so some people know.

I think there are some early ones on this list Cornetto might have missed.  I will have to check.

Actually, I believe that the first "Simply" script was by Breanne -- I can't for the life of me remember the title but the script starred Breanne, as herself, tied up in the trunk of a car...I think?  Tied up somewhere, anyway.  Oh, that Breanne...

Inspired by Breanne, the first "Simply" script to utilize Simply members other than the writer themselves was a short entitled "The Last Script Heretic Ever Wrote"...gosh knows what handsome devil wrote that little piece of work.  However, it is no longer on the site.

I think Wes may also have had a series...possibly before any of this...which at least he, and possibly other members, would cameo on.

Quoted from Heretic Actually, I believe that the first "Simply" script was by Breanne -- I can't for the life of me remember the title but the script starred Breanne, as herself, tied up in the trunk of a car...I think?  Tied up somewhere, anyway.  Oh, that Breanne... Inspired by Breanne, the first "Simply" script to utilize Simply members other than the writer themselves was a short entitled "The Last Script Heretic Ever Wrote"...gosh knows what handsome devil wrote that little piece of work.  However, it is no longer on the site. I think Wes may also have had a series...possibly before any of this...which at least he, and possibly other members, would cameo on.

Can someone find the links to these?  It was silly to look for anything but the Heretic script. But I did look for the Heretic script based on that title and could not find it.

Quoted from mcornetto Can someone find the links to these?  It was silly to look for anything but the Heretic script. But I did look for the Heretic script based on that title and could not find it.

Unfortunately, Last Script Heretic Ever Wrote, The was removed at the request of the writer...

I think you're missing a ton of "screenrider's" work here on the list... He's popin' out 4 a week it seems.  Some of which aren't bad and are actually pretty funny, or at bareminimum have some decent ideas going on in them.

Quoted from Heretic I think Wes may also have had a series...possibly before any of this...which at least he, and possibly other members, would cameo on.

I actually have done that in everything I've ever written but to qualify as a SS script I think it has to use many SS members and not just one or two as I have done.

Quoted from Grandma Bear Are they about SS members?

Yeah, Phil's in like everyone... Bert too, I believe.

I had The Last Script Heretic Ever Wrote taken down, along with all the rest of my scripts.

I can't tell for sure but it looks to me as though Breanne has had the script of hers that I was thinking of removed as well.

Quoted from Heretic Actually, I believe that the first "Simply" script was by Breanne -- I can't for the life of me remember the title but the script starred Breanne, as herself, tied up in the trunk of a car...I think?  Tied up somewhere, anyway.  Oh, that Breanne... Inspired by Breanne, the first "Simply" script to utilize Simply members other than the writer themselves was a short entitled "The Last Script Heretic Ever Wrote"...gosh knows what handsome devil wrote that little piece of work.  However, it is no longer on the site.

It's called Breanne’s Been Kidnapped! :D Thank you for remembering. :)

It was actually an exercise in getting over writers block. It was also very loosely inspired by Charlie Kaufman’s Adaptation. Surprisingly I’ve had little to no trouble with writers block since then. I think every writer should write something with themselves in it and then kick their own ass. It’s cathartic. It gets the narcissism out. :D

I just had it taken down a little while back. Thanks for remembering. I remember yours as well. :)


Breanne


[Addendum: Thank you Michael for making this list of SS Scripts. I hadn’t realized there were so many.]

I wrote a homage to Michael Cornetto's scripts.  Not sure if that quite fits.  

Just One Cornetto

Quoted from screenrider Baltis, Wow, what a plethora of colorful characters.

To be honest, you should probably get to know those characters a little better before writing about them.

I remember most of those but I almost completely forgot about Simply the Godfather. That one was a monster. Seriously, I know it was a spoof and all but that one was a full blown script. I have to commend George for putting that much effort into something that was basically shits and giggles for a relatively small community. It was also pretty spot on in regards to members' personalities. At least as far as I remember.

Honestly, I'm split between SimplyNoir and SimplyBBQ as my favorite. No, it's not because Bert had a hand in both of them, even though he's one of my favorite writers here (not to mention George is also the cowriter of SimplyNoir). It's because both of those scripts were dead on with timing, especially SimplyBBQ. As I recall, the site was going through a period of being a massive shit show.

Mike Shelton,

So what are you saying?  We should do lunch?  With all due respect I'm not trying to write autobiographies.  I only model my characters loosley based on SS'rs avatars and a few select quotes I read in reviews.  Although I may have crossed the line with Phil Clarke's Not Even Death, but he hasn't said anything to me about it, so...c'est lavie.   Bottom line it's not meant to be taken serious and I certainly don't want to step on toes.  If anything it's a compliment.   Somebody once said the greatest compliment in the world is to satirized...or something like that.   It might've been George Burns.  

My only other line of defense is to blame Baltis.  Here's a quote from him in his review of  "To Molest a Molestor"... he said, "I think if everyone would take out their tampons when dealing with humor things would be much funnier.  Humor and comedy should have no boundaries and we should cross the ones we feel are there".   "If more people wrote with balls and did stand up without the gloves on... The world would be much more adept to handle the things that came at them."

So there you go Mr. great and powerful Shelton.  I have nothing but glowing praise for each and every one of you...all in good fun of course.  But on a serious note if anybody objects to anything I've written please let me know and I'll ask Don remove it.   Thanks for the inspiration, screenwriters.  

screenrider.

Michael G.Harrop,

You should avoid getting defensive whenever anyone says you should get to know those characters a little better before writing about them.  Because it's true. Anyone that knows those characters would say pretty much the same thing.  As a matter of fact you should ALWAYS know your characters before you write about them.

Now I'm not saying that what you are doing is wrong. And hell, if you posted these scripts elsewhere, where people didn't know the characters, then you probably wouldn't hear a complaint.  But the fact is that you are showing them somewhere where people do know the characters, even though your characters might only be very loosely based on the people whose names you use.  

However, you can't expect your readers to know that they are loosely based - you don't mention it anywhere in the script or in the logline.  So for all intensive purposes what is written in your scripts appears wrong to people that know the characters and expect them to behave like the people they know.

This is not something to get defensive about.  It's something to learn from and then you can move forward with that valuable additional knowledge.  

Quoted from screenrider Post

It's not about being offended.  I'm not offended in the slightest, because frankly there's nothing in your scripts that warrants that.  I'm just saying that your usage of names is a novelty, but in a sense that it actually detracts from the novelty that an SS script has in the first place.

If you hang around long enough, you'll find little quirks that people consistently have, and can use those to make the characters more realistic even if they are tongue in cheek.

And your reminding me of Balt's quote isn't going to get you very far.  I've written comedies that were called borderline, if not full blown, racist.

Mcornetto and Shelton,
Message recieved.  You're right.  I should get to know somebody better before I attempt to spoof them.  And actually I shouldn't be spoofing anyody, period.   I can see that everybody here works very hard at what they do.  So I'd like to take this opportunity to publicly apologize for my irresponsible hijinx and say anything I've written up to this point is not in any way a true account of SS screenwriters, but only a product of my overactive imagination.  

screenrider.

P.S. - I wish I wouldn't have written Cornetto: Undercover Vice Cop and a spoof on 180.   I've already sent them in.   I'm having one of those moments where I wish I could turn back the wheels of time.  Oh well, let me know if I need to remove them once they come out.  
Thanks for putting me in check.  Lesson learned.

Hey, unless screenrider totally picked the name Dilworth out of thin air, I finally got put into an SS script.  And even though I then got stuck in a TV for all eternity in short order, it was pretty neat!

Quoted from Shelton It's not about being offended.  I'm not offended in the slightest, because frankly there's nothing in your scripts that warrants that.  I'm just saying that your usage of names is a novelty, but in a sense that it actually detracts from the novelty that an SS script has in the first place. If you hang around long enough, you'll find little quirks that people consistently have, and can use those to make the characters more realistic even if they are tongue in cheek. And you're reminding me of Balt's quote isn't going to get you very far.  I've written comedies that were called borderline, if not full blown, racist.

I know that I go off the deep end a lot, but the fun part for myself and I think everyone, to some degree, is that (and it's only a perception I know) that we can relate back and forth in a kind of consistency and non-consistency that is an exhibit of our lives, as we are currently are having it revealed.

The most important thing for me personally, is that I have the opportunity to be with you all.

Although we are divided by a "seeming screen", we have the advantage of having a bit of "the barrier" down. This, I believe, is a helpful thing.

We are...

...all of us...

On a new cutting edge. And it's beautiful.

Grateful,

Sandra

Dilworth,

Yeah, it was no accident.  But you shouldn't encourage me.  I've gotten in enough hot water. With a name like Dilworth I could write a whole series.   And thank you Sandra for your deeply heartfelt, spriritually enlightened, beautiful thoughts.   I feel at one with the universe now.  :)  By the way, your pic reminds me of a 28 year old happy Anne Frank.

Quoted from screenrider Dilworth, Yeah, it was no accident.  But you shouldn't encourage me.  I've gotten in enough hot water. With a name like Dilworth I could write a whole series.   And thank you Sandra for your deeply heartfelt, spriritually enlightened, beautiful thoughts.   I feel at one with the universe now.  :)  By the way, your pic reminds me of a 28 year old happy Anne Frank.

Well now, that is rather strange,

This was written by Anne Frank:

I finally realized that I must do my schoolwork to keep from being ignorant, to get on in life, to become a journalist, because that’s what I want! I know I can write ..., but it remains to be seen whether I really have talent ...

And if I don’t have the talent to write books or newspaper articles, I can always write for myself. But I want to achieve more than that. I can’t imagine living like Mother, Mrs. van Daan and all the women who go about their work and are then forgotten. I need to have something besides a husband and children to devote myself to! ... I want to be useful or bring enjoyment to all people, even those I’ve never met. I want to go on living even after my death! And that’s why I’m so grateful to God for having given me this gift, which I can use to develop myself and to express all that’s inside me! When I write I can shake off all my cares. My sorrow disappears, my spirits are revived! But, and that’s a big question, will I ever be able to write something great, will I ever become a journalist or a writer?

Anne Frank

It seems as though we feel exactly the same way in this.

Sandra