I am currently writing my second script and am having a intensely difficult time writing actions with 4 lines or less. I feel like this rule is applied over SS because a lot of people here are beginners at script writing. I was looking over at imsdb.com and many of the scripts do not have 4 lines or less. Can someone tell me why in the world this rule has to be applied? Also, how can I get my lines to be shorter than 4 lines if this is needed? It is almost impossible to describe a character or setting without going over 4 lines.

If you need to have that much doing on, split it up.  No one wants to reads paragraphs of text in a script.


Phil

Readability. Screenplays should do two things: allow the reader to visualise what's on the page, and be an easy read.

If you think we only mention and follow this rule because we're beginners, then why are you worrying about it at all? We don't know what we're talking about, right?

I think if you're intro-ing a character and it takes longer than four lines, you're over-doing it. Same with scene descriptions. What exactly is it that you have to tell us about your characters that takes such a long time? Character intros should be name and physical features (that could include clothes if appropriate). Other stuff, like history and personality, should be shown through their actions and dialogue, not explained upfront.

But of course you probably already knew that. After all, I'm just a beginner - what do I know?

Why you shouldn't go over four lines? Because it looks bad - it's as simple as that.  A page should be as white as possible. When someone skims a page and it's all black then you immediately know it's gonna take forever to read. And that's exactly what you don't want. A script should be a breeze to read through - easy and fast.

And why can't you write action with four lines or less? Does your sentences run four lines? If that's the case, then you have a problem. Break up your sentences. Nobody is saying you can't have several four-line paragraphs right after each other.

And for the record, I think even four lines is over the top - two are plenty, three if you're in a tight spot.

Forget the pro-scripts. Those guys can do what they want - you can't.

I don't feel like I am over-doing it at all. It is hard for me to picture my characters when I only have a limited use of 4 lines. If anything, I am under-doing it. I know this may sound a bit "different", but I don't mind reading paragraphs of text. It may be hard for a lot of people to read, but I quite enjoy it.

I feel like you think I am being very mean and negative because of me calling some people beginners, when all I really want is help.

I have tried breaking up my sentences, but it looks absolutely horrible. It looks worse than all the words in 8 lines.

Quoted from usaking I know this may sound a bit "different", but I don't mind reading paragraphs of text. It may be hard for a lot of people to read, but I quite enjoy it.

Professionals don't

In all fairness, usaking, check out Sniper's work. He's very good at getting the most out of his words.

If I were you, I would bang out the first draft and then tighten the structure/layout afterwards. After all, your script will live and die by its story, so polishing a script on first draft is - largely - unnecessary.

Andrew

Quoted from usaking I know this may sound a bit "different", but I don't mind reading paragraphs of text. It may be hard for a lot of people to read, but I quite enjoy it.

That's the thing, though - it's the reader you have to think about. It's your job to show them the pictures you had in mind when you wrote the words in as easy and interesting way as possible.

And people here are more than happy to help. I'm happy to try. I just don't think people - at least, myself - appreciate it when someone comes asking for help and then complains that what they're told don't count because SS is full of 'amateurs' or 'beginners'. You came to us! But you're not the first to do it, so. And anyway, some people here aren't beginners - they've had scripts optioned, sold and produced, so if they tell you it's the rule it's the rule. Okay, sonny? (By the way, I'm not referring to myself, there.)

Here's what I suggest. Just post a couple of character intros, scene descriptions, action lines - whatever - that you've written. And we'll see if we can show you how to cut it down. I know it's a hard rule to get used to. But it really does help the readability of what you write.

I have the same problem. Try cutting down your lines to one or two lines. It can be done. Or watch your favorite DVD with the subtitles on to see the rule in action.

It can be maddening to work within the constraints of rules, but it does work.

Gary

I didn't mean to call people here beginners or amateurs, and I am sorry for saying it. I sometimes get really frustrated and say things I don't mean.

I can't really post anything in the script because a few minutes ago, I erased it all and decided to start fresh I only had 1 page, so it isn't really a big deal.

Quoted from usaking I don't feel like I am over-doing it at all. It is hard for me to picture my characters when I only have a limited use of 4 lines. If anything, I am under-doing it. I know this may sound a bit "different", but I don't mind reading paragraphs of text.

1st off it, it doesn't matter what "YOU" like reading at all... It's what "they" like reading... 2nd of all if you feel like you're under doing it then you shouldn't be a screenwriter... You should be a novelist.

Screenwriting is crude, short, blunt and to the point. Think of screenwriting like this. You have the Mona Lisa and you have stick figures.  The Mona Lisa represents the novel and the stick figure represents the screenplay.  It is the shell of the picture to come and nothing more.

Quoted from usaking I didn't mean to call people here beginners or amateurs, and I am sorry for saying it. I sometimes get really frustrated and say things I don't mean. I can't really post anything in the script because a few minutes ago, I erased it all and decided to start fresh I only had 1 page, so it isn't really a big deal.

That's fine. Don't worry about it.

And I'm still going to try and show you what can be done to try and shorten a paragraph that's too long. Apologies to Craig S. Cooper for what I'm about to do, but its purpose is educational.

This is the first paragraph to 'Playing God', a short posted about a month ago:

INT. LAB - NIGHT

The laboratory is of fairly decent size, and well equipped. The lights flicker intermittently. To one side of a desk a big plastic sheet covers a huge pile of something, and in the corner of the room there is a large, smashed up piece of machinery, which resembles a photo booth, slumped up to the side of this is a body. There is a splattering of blood along the side of the machine, reaching as far as the white walls. At the feet of the body lies a gun.

Now in the PDF version, that's eight lines long. That's not great, particularly for an opening paragraph (again, apologies to Mr. Cooper...I'm not victimising you on purpose!). He's done what you said you do - take too long to describe a setting. But it's possible to include all the information that's there, just in a less abrupt, off-putting way.

This is a very quick rewrite. Hopefully someone else will step in and do a better job of showing you what's possible:

INT. LAB - NIGHT

Lights flicker in a well-equipped laboratory. All is quiet.

Next to the desk, a white sheet covers a large pile of suspicious-looking objects.

In the corner lies a piece of mangled machinery. It looks a bit like a phone booth. Blood is splattered up one side.

Leaning against the machine is a DEAD BODY. A gun lies at its feet.

What I've tried to do there is capture the same scene, and convey the same feeling of the aftermath of an experiment gone wrong, but in a more readable way. Now I'm not saying what I've come up with is better than the original. But I think it's easier to read, and a large part of that is the short paragraphs. Short sentences, too.

Do you see what I mean? Remember, screenplays are not literature. While I think Balt's analogy of the Mona Lisa vs. stick figures is flawed, I agree with the point he is trying to make: you're trying to tell us what the finished painting will look like, allowing us to visualise it in our heads, but without actually trying to describe every individual brush-stroke.

You can also break up the action and in doing so indicating different shots.

Baltis, I am definitely sure that I am supposed to be a screenwriter. No offense, but I can't stand novels and do not wish to ever be a novelist.

JonnyBoy, the problem is that when sentences are broken up, as you have shown, they look ugly and horrible to me. It reminds me of "bad things" which I can't even describe.

Quoted from usaking JonnyBoy, the problem is that when sentences are broken up, as you have shown, they look ugly and horrible to me. It reminds me of "bad things" which I can't even describe.

Do they remind you of pink flamingoes, by any chance?

Fair enough if that's how you feel. But I'd urge you to put your own tastes to one side. Honestly, which one was easier to read? You have to try to be as economical as you can be. Less really can be more in this game.

I get the feeling I'm not going to convince you here, so I'll try the other approach: it's just a rule. Some rules - "we see", using "ing"s - can be bent. But you have to really know and understand the rules before you can consider playing around with them. And this is one, probably THE ONE that should never even be curved slightly, let alone broken. Long, looooong paragraphs are an indicator of poor writing. They're a red flag, in a way, a sign that you don't know the form. It takes discipline to write the correct way, discipline and practice. But the end result IS a screenplay that's easier to read, despite what your personal instincts might be right now.