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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  How I learned 98% of the dialogue I read is bad... Moderators: George Willson
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  Author    How I learned 98% of the dialogue I read is bad...  (currently 525 views)
Matthew Taylor
Posted: September 16th, 2023, 10:06am Report to Moderator
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Unless of course the character is a robot  

But yes that is good advice for dialogue. If you have willing friends and family, asking them to run some lines is a good way too. Although my other half is sick of that now so I dare not ask her anymore.


Feature

42.2

Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it

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eldave1
Posted: September 16th, 2023, 10:52am Report to Moderator
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Final Draft has a speech capability (will read the script to you). If you use FD, that's a good tool as well to catch the mundane


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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LC
Posted: September 16th, 2023, 7:15pm Report to Moderator
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My FD man and woman voices sound robotic. I don't find them particularly helpful.

I agree though that bad dialogue when heard is a good way to learn what not to do.


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AlsoBen
Posted: September 16th, 2023, 9:59pm Report to Moderator
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I have a way of writing natural dialogue that IMO sounds close enough to real speech, without the transactional nature of fictional dialogue.

Basically if I know a scene needs an important back and forth between two or more characters, I will write the entire conversation for as long as or as short as needed with no immediate consideration for plot contrivance or narrative. If the scene is taking place at a meal, I will just start writing the beginning of the conversation and keep going until after everything necessary for the scene has been established organically - the character's state of mind, any story beats.

Then I go back and cut out everything leading up to that point that isn't necessary and everything afterwards, keeping the scene to the point and immediate, as if the viewer walked into the room partway through a conversation. Basically, by acknowledging that viewers will "fill in the blanks" on most missing context and not feeling the need to explain why a character is talking about something, you can be both efficient AND natural.
'
And when you're comfortable staying on a scene for longer than narratively necessary (eg for atmospheric or tonal reasons), you keep in more of the conversational context.

(Writing this out made me realise how overengineered this seems, but I enjoy writing dialogue).


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steven8
Posted: September 16th, 2023, 10:44pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from AlsoBen
I have a way of writing natural dialogue that IMO sounds close enough to real speech, without the transactional nature of fictional dialogue.


I have a way of believing all my dialog sounds perfectly natural.  Then I post my script, and read the reviews...



...in no particular order
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: September 17th, 2023, 6:04am Report to Moderator
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Script dialogue is interesting, and hard to judge your own work sometimes.

Just look at the current OWC reviews, you will see the same script get comments like 'dialogue sound natural' and 'dialogue sound stilted and unnatural'.

So I think the tips above are all valid and useful, but sometimes you need to trust your voice too... imho of course.


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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eldave1
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Quoted from LC
My FD man and woman voices sound robotic. I don't find them particularly helpful.

I agree though that bad dialogue when heard is a good way to learn what not to do.


Yeah.. they do need to improve the voices


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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steven8
Posted: September 17th, 2023, 5:19pm Report to Moderator
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Is it just me, or did the OP's message disappear?


...in no particular order
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LC
Posted: September 17th, 2023, 5:25pm Report to Moderator
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Yes, that's weird.
Marty, come back and repost!


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Matthew Taylor
Posted: September 17th, 2023, 5:34pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah, now it looks like I started the thread and rambled to myself  


Feature

42.2

Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
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LC
Posted: September 17th, 2023, 5:48pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor
Yeah, now it looks like I started the thread and rambled to myself  

Yeah, you really need to stop doing that.  



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SAC
Posted: September 17th, 2023, 10:45pm Report to Moderator
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I always knew Matthew was a little off


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SAC
Posted: September 17th, 2023, 10:48pm Report to Moderator
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On the subject, I’ve tried everything from reading it aloud, reading it silent, or reading both characters speaking. All of which are decent methods, I guess. But my rule of thumb is usually the less said the better. Keep it concise and to the point. But. Do like reading it aloud and kind of acting it out. Seems to help.


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Matthew Taylor
Posted: September 18th, 2023, 6:21am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from SAC
I always knew Matthew was a little off


Only a little? I'll take that as a compliment  


Feature

42.2

Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
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Gary in Houston
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A couple of things I do to try and help on the dialogue is:

1.  Listen to other people's conversations in real life.  If you're a good listener, that can help in carrying over into your work.  Of course, if you only hang around people that talk like robots, then I don't know what to tell you.

2.  Try to remove as much expository talk as possible from the dialogue.  If you have someone explaining what's happening, or why something happened, that's typically not the best use of dialogue.  Sometimes it can't be helped. But as a rule of thumb, skip the exposition.

Anyway, just spit balling.  Also, I wish the Final Draft reader was much more natural.  It's a shock to me that with technology being the way it is, Final Draft hasn't figured out a way to incorporate a natural sounding voice into their system.


Some of my scripts:

Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly
I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner
The Gambler (short) - OWC winner
Skip (short) - filmed
Country Road 12 (short) - filmed
The Family Man (short) - filmed
The Journeyers (feature) - optioned

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Martymcnugget1971
Posted: October 4th, 2023, 8:17pm Report to Moderator
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I’m not trying to be mean but I rarely come across dialogue that’s great or even good.   Maybe my standards are very high.  When I’m reading a script I need to be able to hear the characters voices in my head as I’m reading the dialogue.
There’s scripts to classic movies I’ve read you can instantly hear their voice just by reading the dialogue.

You write a movie like mean streets  I expected the characters to sound Italian and they did.    When I read the script boom instantly hear their voices in my head as I’m reading.  
   Dialogue was perfect.  




But If the writer fails to do this then in my opinion I don’t think the dialogue is good.  I’ve seen many many scripts where I can’t hear their voices.  

A 50 year old man should sound like a 50 year old man if I can’t hear a 50 year old man’s voice in my head in the dialogue then it’s not for me.    
  
Dialogue is hard and it’s tricky yes but it’s the most important out of anything when it comes to screenwriting that’s why I’m so hard on dialogue.  





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LC
Posted: October 4th, 2023, 10:18pm Report to Moderator
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Hi Marty,
This comment seems to be an extension of the thread you started here:

https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-screenwrite/m-1694873647/s-new/

Do you think you could post your comment there? Or else I can merge the threads.

This is more pertinent to the Screenwriting Class thread.

And are you referring to amateur or professional scripts?

Maybe give some examples of dialogue in film you don't think makes the grade.

Edit: I merged and moved your threads, Marty.
How I learned bad and good dialogue & 98% of dialogue I read is bad. (Original thread) and this one. I hope you don't mind. Same topic pretty much.

Libby




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Pleb
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Quoted from Martymcnugget1971
When I’m reading a script I need to be able to hear the characters voices in my head as I’m reading the dialogue. There’s scripts to classic movies I’ve read you can instantly hear their voice just by reading the dialogue.

You write a movie like mean streets  I expected the characters to sound Italian and they did.    When I read the script boom instantly hear their voices in my head as I’m reading. Dialogue was perfect.  

But If the writer fails to do this then in my opinion I don’t think the dialogue is good.  I’ve seen many many scripts where I can’t hear their voices.


Are you reading scripts of movies you've already watched?

I ask as that can shape our experience of the script. I tend not to bother reading scripts if I've already seen the movie (unless there's something specific I want to see, like how a scene was written before if had been filmed).

Heck, I even avoid watching the trailers for the scripts I'm reading as that can shape how I experience it too. For example I was reading Empire of Light recently and when I saw in the trailer that Olivia Coleman was playing the main character, I then saw that character differently too, as I couldn't help but hear her voice, rather than the one I'd been hearing beforehand.




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ColinS
Posted: October 5th, 2023, 5:31am Report to Moderator
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Quoted Text
I’m not trying to be mean but I rarely come across dialogue that’s great or even good.   Maybe my standards are very high.  When I’m reading a script I need to be able to hear the characters voices in my head as I’m reading the dialogue.
There’s scripts to classic movies I’ve read you can instantly hear their voice just by reading the dialogue.

You write a movie like mean streets  I expected the characters to sound Italian and they did.      


Hi Marty - Gotta agree with LC and Max that the above is a bit unfair. With Mean Streets you've already got Keitel and De Nero playing the lines out for you - two great actors from New York.  I feel their talents and accents would complement the dialogue.

To look at this another way - I remember reading the screenplay for "Groundhog Day", as brilliant and ingenious as the script was, I remember thinking how unnatural the dialogue seemed for the character of "Bill Connors". I remember thinking "this would never work... unless BILL MURRAY played the part!"

Anyway, fascinating thread - I think good/bad dialogue will always be subjective... unless the writer is making classic mistakes.








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