Quoted from cindy I enjoyed the British accents.  Although this has been done before, I think the accents helped to add originality to the script. And I loved the line "Have a day off mate." I think I'll use that one soon. LOL

Be my guest with that line cindy lol.

Quoted from cindy I  can tell you had fun writing this, and really that's all that matters when it is all said, done, and over with, isn't it? When you love what you're doing, it shows.

I did enjoy writing this, very much and I actually knocked this out in a day which is really fast for me.  I wrote a much darker serious script first and then this as a back up.

Quoted from James McClung Wow! This was good. One of the best shorts I've read on the site, for sure.

Thanks very much James, coming from a seasoned pro like you thats a great compliment.

Quoted from James McClung There was definitely a healthy batch of British humor here, which I loved. It's like Texas Chainsaw meets Monty Python.

This is my favourite quote of all time...I like it so much I may have to wall mount it lol.  In fact your whole review is great and has boosted my own confidence to keep writing, not that was gonna stop anyway lol.

Quoted from James McClung Definitely in my top ten of best shorts on SS

This quote is now my favourite lol.

Many thanks James, glad you liked it so much

Hey alffy,

I couldn't pass by another of your shorts.  This one was just what I expected from you, humourous and quite British.  I like that you are unafraid of using colloquial language in your scripts, it gives them a unique feel on these boards.  

I thought this one was a hoot and I got a number of chuckles from it.  Given the characters I thought the ending worked.  It wasn’t particularly scary but it certainly had its gross out moments.  The septum moment was plenty for me.

The only issue I had with this is I thought you had too many characters for the size of this short.  I would try to get rid of one or two of them.

Anyway, well done.  

Quoted from mcornetto I like that you are unafraid of using colloquial language in your scripts, it gives them a unique feel on these boards.

Thanks, I often wondered wether some people here were a bit put off by use of language.  I just write the way I'm comfortable.

Quoted from mcornetto The only issue I had with this is I thought you had too many characters for the size of this short.  I would try to get rid of one or two of them.

Yeah I know were you're coming from.  I thought about removing a few characters but I wasn't sure which ones.

Anywho thanks for the read, much appreciated

Just a quick note to say that I'm having a go at extending this, as it has recieved some favourable reviews.  Not sure whether I have enough to make it a feature but certainly enough to bolster the story.  I just hope I don't ruin this lol.

haha I'm sure you won't ruin it mate. This definately has the potential to be a very good feature so good luck with it. Just keep the humour.

I agree. As I've already hinted at, I'd love to see another horror movie in the British countryside. The tone you've set up allows you to go in two directions at once (comedy and horror) so you've got a lot of frontier to explore, I think. You could also develop your characters a little more in a feature length context. Even if you ended up in the 80 page range, I think you'd have a pretty fun script on your hands. Good luck.

This was pretty funny to me. I had issues with the similarities to Sweeney Todd. The show has been around for a very long time, so I don't like the excuse about not having seen the movie yet. Another issue I had with this was all of the English slang. There were times that I did not understand what the characters had just said. Also, you initially describe the lads as students on break. A very simple fix there would be to add what kind of students they were. It took a minute to figure out they were culinary students. Overall it was a funny, goofy, little script that I could see a film student having fun making.

I read this one awhile back, but looking back through the thread I guess I failed to comment on it.

I think the script was well written, and definitely had a good mix of humor and gross out horror.  The Slaughtered Lamb reference worked quite well, and I appreciate the fact that you didn't hit the reader over the head with it.  If they got it, they got it.  I'm sure the ones who got it had more enjoyable reading experience.

I've noticed a lot of comparison to Sweeney Todd, but outside of the pies themselves I'm not really seeing it.  Maybe this has something to do with the fact that I've seen the Mad Butcher and can draw an easier comparison to that.  I'd suggest you check that one out, by the way.  It should serve as a pretty good inspiration for tackling the extension.

Anyway, just wanted to throw those little tidbits out there.  Good work.

Cheers for the read Pants.

Quoted from Pants I had issues with the similarities to Sweeney Todd. The show has been around for a very long time, so I don't like the excuse about not having seen the movie yet

You're right I have no excuse but then I'm not the first to write a cannabalism script and I'm sure I won't be the last. lol.  I guess the only similarities though are the meat pies.

Quoted from Pants Another issue I had with this was all of the English slang. There were times that I did not understand what the characters had just said

I'm sad that you find this an issue.  I don't review an American script and complain that I don't understand the dialogue, surely that's the point.  If all scripts were written in one location they would all read very samey wouldn't you agree?  Even in American movies characters speak in their regional dialect, take the everyday slasher with the local hillbilly and then the college kid fodder, surely these talk differently?  I remember watching the film 'Brick' and found myself wondering if the characters had each swallowed a thesaururs as their dialogue seemed quite unnatural but I still wouldn't hold it against the movie.  Touchy subject for me that one, I'm British and this is how the characters would talk. People still read Shakespears plays, and although the language is almost alien to us now, we still understand it.

Quoted from Pants Also, you initially describe the lads as students on break.  A very simple fix there would be to add what kind of students they were. It took a minute to figure out they were culinary students.

I didn't want it to be too obvious at first as it would have given away the ending or at least would kill the surprise of the actions.  I believe there are enough clues in there.

Quoted from Pants Overall it was a funny, goofy, little script that I could see a film student having fun making.

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.  I know you had issues with it, perhaps no major ones, so the fact that you still enjoyed this and found it entertaining is a good positive for me.  I too would love to see this made, obviously lol, but perhaps more so the extended feature I'm currently working on.

Thanks again for the read pants.

Hey Mike thanks for posting a response.

Quoted from Shelton The Slaughtered Lamb reference worked quite well, and I appreciate the fact that you didn't hit the reader over the head with it.  If they got it, they got it.  I'm sure the ones who got it had more enjoyable reading experience.

Cheers for this comment, I try not to be obvious in my scripts.  If people pick up then fair do's if not then no problem.

Quoted from Shelton I've noticed a lot of comparison to Sweeney Todd, but outside of the pies themselves I'm not really seeing it.

I'm so glad you pointed this out because I've had a few comments about a similarity between the two stories and I only see it in the meat pies too.

Thanks for heads up on 'The Mad Butcher' I'll check it out.  Cheers for your thoughts Mike, much appreciated.

Alffy -
I don't have a problem with you using some dialect, but some stuff was very confusing. Just as an example, the Harry Potter movies use quite a bit of English dialect, but they also tone it down some to make it easier to follow. That's all I was trying to suggest you do. As far as what type of students they are the hints aren't really dropped until we are ways into the script. In the beginning you mention one guy is reading a drity mag and the other is reading a cooking mag. That to me is not a hint. I didn't realize they were cooking students until they were eating at the beer garden. I understand the meat pies is really the only similarity to Sweeney Todd, but it's a pretty big one. That's the main part of your story. Anyways, like I said, I did enjoy this one and these critiques really are minor. Nice job again.

OK cheers...although I still don't think the Sweeny Todd similarity is a major one.  If you discount the meat pies, which you say is the main part of the story, they are totally different, and I'm not the only one...

Quoted from Shelton I've noticed a lot of comparison to Sweeney Todd, but outside of the pies themselves I'm not really seeing it.

Sweeney Tood is a serial killer Barber in London, mines about three cooking students who visit the north york moors and run into some hungry locals.  The meat pies, you've got me on but that's it lol.

Same goes for the dialect too..

Quoted from Cindy I enjoyed the British accents.  Although this has been done before, I think the accents helped to add originality to the script.

I guess you either like something or not, see similarities or not and so and son on.  That's what makes us individual.  If we all saw things the same, all the reviews would be the same and therefore we would learn nothing from them.  I don't want to get into a petty argument on this minor issue so I'm gonna leave it alone now lol.  Thanks again for reading this Pants.

Hey alffy,

I've not read any other comments so apologies if i'm repeating already raised issue.

This was a really fun read.  The three mates were funny and the whole scenario entertaining.

Apart from a few typos, the descriptions and dialogue were all fine as far as I could see.  There was a part were two of the friends both talked at the same time, and I wasn't sure if it was supposed to be formatted in that way.  I'd assumed that you'd write it as -

        RUSS + MOZZA
Right.

As opposed to -

        RUSS                                      MOZZA
Right.                                      Right.

But this is something I myself am not sure about and your way may be right.

All in all though you wrote an enjoyable comdey/horror script.

Kudos

Hey Yohn thanks for the read.  On the duel dialogue question, I'm not sure myself but I use final draft and thats how it does it so that's good for me lol.