Hey, Mike -

Have to say, I do like the premise on this one.  Not earthshaking, but still a scenario that's capable of holding my attention and providing an interesting "slice of life."  (I guessed the way it would play out early on...but that doesn't mean that it couldn't be a fun ride along the way anyway.)

I like your smooth writing style in general, and your way with descriptions (though the set up descriptions seemed a *little* lengthy.)

My main problem with the script was that the dialog seemed stilted - read too much like the characters "explaining it to the audience" rather than having a natural, flowing conversation.  Also - given the dynamics and nastiness between Chasity and Dennis, I find it *very* hard to believe that they ever got together and dated at all!  

Oh, and "pie case"?  Ew.  

bad acting took me out of it, i gotta read this tomorrow

Is Mike Shelton even still alive?   I heard he died in a skiing accident.  Sonny Bono-style.  

It was a golfing accident.  Like Bob Hope.

Yes, I died and I come here numerous times a day in zombie form.

Thanks for watching, guys.  This script was the result of a theory I had in relation to the title of a script and its ease of filmability, and how it correlates to how many emails would be sent asking about filming it.  Needless to say, my theory was right.

i read it...

eh, i dont really see that as a comedy, but i guess it needs to be categorized somehow and that would be close enough.  A waitress named "Waitress?"  did that go over my head, was she being sarcastic?

I dont know, congrats on filming it, but i didnt love it.  the dialogue didn't do much for me.

sorry if i sound like a dick, im just giving my critique.  I wrote a stupid little blind date short that this sort of reminded me of, maybe ill post it sometime, probably not though.

Is there a certain way to watch these? It keeps stopping and starting. Buffering. I've got the fastest DSL SBC has to offer. I don't like to wait for my porn...

If I pause it, it doesn't seem to keep downloading...

james

Quoted from Conz i read it... eh, i dont really see that as a comedy, but i guess it needs to be categorized somehow and that would be close enough.  A waitress named "Waitress?"  did that go over my head, was she being sarcastic? I dont know, congrats on filming it, but i didnt love it.  the dialogue didn't do much for me. sorry if i sound like a dick, im just giving my critique.  I wrote a stupid little blind date short that this sort of reminded me of, maybe ill post it sometime, probably not though.

Don't worry about it.  Not to sound like a dick myself, but I don't care.

James,

I'm not sure on any other way to watch it.