What can I say? Except that I love Mike Shelton. Tell your wife how lucky she is. But isn't your real name Michael?  

Sandra

Thanks for watching guys.  I'm pretty happy with the way things turned out, but we'll see how one of the others ends up.  I think there are about a dozen different groups working on this at the moment.  How many will actually come to fruition is anyone's guess.

I doubt music was paid for in all honesty.

Sandra,

My formal name is Michael, but hardly anybody calls me that.  Most people call me Mike or by my last name.

hey mike,

congrats on getting this filmed. haven't been around much lately so if i'm late with the kudos forgive me. better late than never, though, right?

anyway i've gotten through 1/3 of it and....

i'm kidding. it's a good short. took all of 20 minutes to read/watch and sat nicely with my sense of karma. no idea why he was with chastity in the first place but...

at any rate, well done. i love hand made movies.

best,
mike

Just watched the video, pretty good.  Something to be proud of.

Congrats.

Quoted from Shelton Thanks for watching guys.  I'm pretty happy with the way things turned out, but we'll see how one of the others ends up.  I think there are about a dozen different groups working on this at the moment.  How many will actually come to fruition is anyone's guess. I doubt music was paid for in all honesty. Sandra, My formal name is Michael, but hardly anybody calls me that.  Most people call me Mike or by my last name.

I wasn't sure because sometimes I've called you Michael by accident.

Yes, the writing has your signature all over it. Always impressed.

Sandra

Hi Mike,

I do not like they way they handled this.  It didn't do your tight little composition justice.

So much more could have been done with the camera angles and lighting to pull it in tighter and give this heated exchange more power.  I felt they could have used some over the shoulder shots, especially from behind her, with him leaning in to make it tighter and more personal.

The guy should have been much sharper in his delivery.  Not yelling, but all this emotion and rage and pent up hatred has finally boiled over.  He should have been cutting and intense, and I felt she should have been more shocked and caught off guard, because this lump of dough she's run roughshod over all this time is finally fighting back!  I felt her lines should have been delivered in a more defensive way, attempting to mask her shock, while trying, unsuccessfully, to appear non-chalant.

If they could have pulled it in closer to make it more intimate between the couple, it would make the intervention by the Waitress have much more impact.  I also felt she kind of rushed through her lines, and wasn't quite catty enough, you know?

I hope one of the other productions gives it more of what it deserves!

Hi Mike,

Congratulations on a great script, I really enjoyed reading it.

I've just watched the filmed version too, also enjoyable and well worth watching.

The writing was great and very realistic, and I loved the little touches like the handbag dog, and Waitress!

Good stuff

Craig

I liked it Mike. Chastity was perfectly cast as the slightly above average looking chick who thinks she's better looking than she is. They're the worst kind. I loved the Paris Hilton and Disney on Ice lines. I also thought the Waitress was great and her motive for jumping in at the end was very believable given the way Chastity treated her at the start. The only thing I didn't catch was her final line. It also might've been good if Dennis got her number.

On the negative side I noticed a bit of lens flare at the beginning when Dennis walked outside. That's fairly typical of video, but the director should've been on to it. I also thought the opening credits went on for too long for a short film.
But overall this was good.

Hey guys, thanks for watching.

Chris,

What you're saying about Dennis getting her number does actually happen, it just wasn't shown on the paper for some reason.  Her last line means that Dennis should have asked for it instead of her having to put it on the receipt herself.

I just watched this again and I would watch it again for one reason:

Cait Kennedy. I feel like she's really working it in this performance whereas the blond actress is coming off to me as a little bit stilted. I feel that Nate Lewis, playing Dennis came alive when playing opposite "Waitress", Cait Kennedy.

So for Cait: Well done Girl!!!!!!!

When she says, "I'm glad my parents never named me mattress, or I would have wound up a hooker," (might not be exact words) watch her reaction right after that word, "hooker" she comes off as both playful and seductive. It's priceless.

I would question the song used in the opening. I love the song, but thinking about it now, it lends this connotation that Dennis only wants money and by his demeanor with respect to his dress, express that he doesn't care at all, and that means the song is completely wrong.

He's a wonderful person it seems, but he's not respectful in the sense that he doesn't care if he comes out in public like he doesn’t give a shit…

Someone whose character screams, "Give me money that's what I want" will dress sharp. They at least will TRY TO DRESS SHARP. Or, they at least will have an air about them in their behavoir that "They Care!". It could be a mechanic with dirty hands, but if he's "Give me money that's all I want", he will probably not have the sluggishness of the character as depicted as Dennis.

I love this, but I'm trying to dig deeper here and so I think I should offer this up.

Congratulations again!!!

Sandra

Hey Mike, congrats on getting ANOTHER short produced (I remember commenting on this one months ago), but I'm afraid I'm gonna side with Steven and say that I don't think this did your script justice. Dennis was too much of a loser, Chastity was boring bitch rather than funny bitch.

It's not that the film was bad, I just think it made your script seem less funny that it actually is. Your comedy is based on sharpness and well-taken moments, and this was just too loose to bring out its best. The 'grief counselling short' you had produced was a better reflection of your work.

Again, congrats, and I really don't want to come across as a dick. But I hope someone else does a better job with it.

Quoted from JonnyBoy Hey Mike, congrats on getting ANOTHER short produced (I remember commenting on this one months ago), but I'm afraid I'm gonna side with Steven and say that I don't think this did your script justice. Dennis was too much of a loser, Chastity was boring bitch rather than funny bitch. It's not that the film was bad, I just think it made your script seem less funny that it actually is. Your comedy is based on sharpness and well-taken moments, and this was just too loose to bring out its best. The 'grief counselling short' you had produced was a better reflection of your work. Again, congrats, and I really don't want to come across as a dick. But I hope someone else does a better job with it.

No worries, Jonny.  All I can do is write a script and hope for the best.  If some people aren't happy with the turnout, it's pretty much out of my hands at that point.

Congratulations Mike.


Breanne

Quoted from screenrider Mike, This is unrelated to 180 but I just read "Holiday Tradition" and "Mr. Gloom" on your website.   Incredibly good stuff.

Hey Screenrider,

Thanks for checking them out and letting me know you enjoyed them.  Mr. Gloom was actually filmed last year, and it's available to view online.

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-knowyou/m-1235935571/s-0/

I've had a little bit of discussion about Holiday Tradition recently, but I'm not sure if anything will come of that.

I think I read this script way back. It seems familiar. This short has a lot going for it cause of the content. I could sit down and watch someone rip into Paris all day. Who wouldn't.

Only thing I didn't get was why waste all those minutes with a clique get out of bed/start the day routine? Come to think about why even have opening credits? It's a short so shouldn't it be kept short?