Hey Will,

Thanks for the read. As for the execution, sorry it didn't work for you. I think Mcornetto had a good suggestion as well with adding a human. I saw this as a frenetic piece though so I would worry about the pacing...

Sniper,

Thanks for the read and glad you got a few chuckles out of it.

Actually this idea comes from a program I saw about a guy in England who had an accident and literally has, like, a 30 second memory. So every 30 seconds he feels like he was just born or just let out of the hospital, and every time his daughter comes over he reacts like he hasn't seen her in twenty years. Very, very sad. I can;t imagine living that existence. Then again, neither can he.

So I thought, why not take the myth about goldfish and play it for comedy?  

Hi,

Just read your short. Good idea for a skit, although reminds of Dory from Finding Nemo. Think maybe you could find another angle... Them writing their names in the sand would be another way to end it, I think.

Funny though. A bit repetitive, but just a bit - good that you kept it to three pages.

khamanna,

Thanks for the read - yeah, Dory's been mentioned before. Glad you got a laugh out of it though!

Anthony

Anthony

Wow, I've never read anything that got on my nerves so quickly, which I presume was partly your intention. Unfortunately, the "so annoying its funny" angle had worn me down by the third page, which again you could attribute to the clarity of your writing. In that you achieved what you set out to do, conduct a conversation between two entities with an extremely limited memory. I mean, the only result of that is what we got here; a mind bending, headache inducing, blood pressure raising, cripplingly frustrating chat.

If you were to expand this you would have to introduce a new element like human interaction or something to break the perpetual, round in circles/back and forth exchanges of the two fish…or maybe put them in a bigger tank, really confuse the motherfu?kers.

Col.

Col,

Thanks for the read - and yes, comically annoying is what I was going for.  

Anthony

Hi Anthony,

It's got but the joke wore thin to the end.

Cut this in half and it would be a decent length.

Have you seen Mythbusters?  They tested goldfish and their eight second memory.

Not a bad effort, could be shorter.

Regards,


Javier

Thanks for the read jayrex - I never saw Mythbusters but I know that this is basically a myth.

Though how you test it one way or the other must be interesting...

hello. liked the spirit of it. can't say i found it cute or humorous, but it was def. written technically well.

c

Thanks for the read purplefilms - I'll take "written technically well"... (0:

Anthony

i kinda remembered .. mounty python'ss Deja vo after reading this .. but it was a good one ... i dont read comedies cause .. most of them turn out to be lame ... but i am glad i read urs .. keep writing .. u have that flare .

Thanks for the read razi and I'm glad you enjoyed it - Anthony

I didn't know gold fish could have a conversation. I thought they just blew bubbles at each other.

This was silly and fun and i enjoyed how you played on the old saying "memory like a goldfish."

Thanks for the read tonka - silly and fun is good!

Anthony

Hey mate,

For what it was, it was a good read. The only real thing that stuck with me is how they were able to remember they didn't have a memory? Curious one.

As ever, your writing is enjoyable.

Andrew

Thanks for the read Andrew - and yes, if you analyze it too long the funny goes away... (0:

How's it going with EMD?