I think I got it. But, the three stars add a layer of confusion. If the three just jump into the water, then it feels clear that they have entered a submerged alien ship, right? But, the three stars add an element that calls for some sort of explanation.

Overall, though, this is very well written. Definitely keeps you engaged through the read.

Thanks for sharing.

Very visual and well written..

I was with it up until the end..

"The man looked like David" I thought this was another time travel script but then they jumped in the ocean... and become Stars or Aliens.

Very confusing ending which is a pity for a very good short

This is a beautifully written script. We don't get all the details, but a full story is told nonetheless. I felt like I was on the boat with them. Impressive.

Hi writer,

Quoted Text tiller slightly, leans back against the gunwale

No idea what a tiller or gunwale are.

Good writing on display but I'm completely lost. I didn't really get what I was looking at with a bit of the action on the first page and then the ending threw me.

Another where the writer will need to weigh in after the challenge.

All the best.

A good job of establishing how uncomfortable the wait is, but it takes up so much of the four pages that we don't know what the aliens were up to, or if there will be any consequences for humanity for mistreating this guest.

Karen is from another planet. This adds some much-needed context around all the Karening in America

Small nit: "They don't come back up." isn't necessary, it's unlikely that the director would linger on this shot long enough for the audience to wonder how these characters held their breath so long.

Good effort!

Writer,

I hate to guess, but perhaps they're aliens. I don't read comments first, but had to here, then read again, which I also try to never do. I feel this one deserved another go. Atmospheric, especially at night. It's like the alien crew from Cocoon were left adrift awaiting rescue. If it has something do do with that premise, then I liked this alot. Good job!

Steve

I liked the atmosphere and the writing. I'm lost as to what was happening so it doesn't pack the same punch it could. Like with them hiding from the fishing boat, I think it needs some explanation. I guess they don't want to be seen by humans cuz they're aliens? But we don't know what the stakes are here. Might be I'm missing something really obvious though.

Good title. A deft hand at work with both writing and tone. Loved the twist with them avoiding the fishing boat - solid intrigue.  Even better when the Man looks exactly like David.

So they’re not looking for ‘rescue’ or land as such, but heading to a specific place in the ocean and for some reason they want to avoid detection.  I just wish I understood the intent as I’m not sure what/where it was exactly they were trying to get to or what it all meant.

An afterlife perhaps? Or a vessel beneath the water?  Maybe I’m missing something but it just feels too ambiguous an ending to pull it all together.  Such an intriguing set-up but it just didn't quite deliver on the payoff for me.  But then, maybe I've misread it?  Keen to hear the writer's intent.

This is crazy...the last entry I'm reading and it's by far my fave. Best for last!!

The writing here is excellent. You had me nervous for these "people", who in the end, obviously weren't. I hate scifi because I usually don't understand but I got this and loved it.

YOu left us wondering why they would hid from the fishing boat...but nice payoff in the end.

Really nice job here. My fave of the whole bunch and I can say that with confidence cus I'm done!!

All right, explanation time.

First of all, they are indeed aliens. They parked their ship in the middle of the ocean and that's why they're going back there, and the small boats is in part because that's what they could grab and go with and in part to not attract attention and literally sail under radar. And budget.

I struggled with this ending because I knew people weren't going to get it. I wanted that visual of the ship rising up on the sonar screen, but without context I was worried nobody would get it, and I was trying to keep the budget low (everything here could be done with just a little money). I even made the other alien a copy of David to keep the budget down, and because I decided all male aliens are Davids and all females are Karens (but none of them would be an internet Karen, that's too on the nose).

So, the three stars, which is really a large ship in orbit moving into position. That's the rescue ship come to pick them up. I included it to strongly hint these people are not people, and as confusing as those stars were to some, would you have gotten that without them? With just the large object rising from the water? I did try to keep everyone focused on the stars, the title included, but I still felt it wasn't enough without that ship in orbit.

The other thing I liked about including the ship is they're trying to avoid rescue on the ocean, but they're hoping for rescue from above, from among the sea of stars.

Thanks for the high praise on the writing and your comments. I was really pleased with how this one turned out, except for the ending. I'll rework it to be a bit clearer.

This one was a corker and I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for the explanation of the end. Trying to write with budget in mind can be so tricky sometimes. I'd open it up now and write what you like. If someone is interested in producing it then it's up to them how they get across that this is an alien rescue.

I really enjoyed the set-up and mystery to this one.  I just wasn't sure if the ending was intended as an extraterrestrial event or a supernatural - kind of journey into the afterlife idea.  I was leaning towards the former but there was just that little room for doubt that left me to wonder.  I think the David doppelgänger is also a bit of a distraction rather than a help perhaps?

Steve