What if you can only get 7.5M of salt water? Kill the production? (I kid, but the point is that you are unnecessarily specific for a script. To the point that it harms the read. Just paint the visual. Nothing more needed.)

The ending was fun. Felt like it took a long time to get there -- odd for only a 4-page script -- but, I enjoyed it nonetheless.

You definitely have story talent.

I was hoping for a lot more out of this.

Took a while to get interesting and then I thought we lost Frank and Jessica had to run the company alone.. Nope

Just another day in the office for Frank apparently... it ended like a comedy

Decent entry and well written.

Fishing for trilobites is a cool idea. I also like the battle at the end, even though it was inevitable once the warning of don't go in the water was uttered.

I would skip all the introductions and start just as they are nearing the water. The introductions are pretty standard.

Thank you for a fun conclusion to the script.

Fun fact: There are at least four writers in this competition who were in the top of their class in marine biology and meteorology.

Hi writer,

Quoted Text EXT. BIOSPHERE 2 - DAY The three acre facility is surrounded by desert. It consists of five biomes under sealed glass.

You have no idea how much I want Pauly Shore to make an appearance!  

This had a lot of setup for a pretty disappointing ending, I wanted more.

All the best.

I really liked the idea of this. I also like the writing very much. I just wish there was a story to go with it. It feels more like a scene than a short film.

A bit overwritten=my type of writing, so it works for me. However I didn't enjoy the eposition through dialogue too much plus the 'indiana jones'-Frank t the end.

Writer,

I recognize this style. Very smartly written, pro level stuff, IMO. The end, however, didn’t quite have the punch that it deserved, though I did like it. Top mark from me.

Steve

Well written, this one is the most Sci-Fi I've read. I don't know about the ending though, kind of a let down, nice concept though.

Good concept. Feels more like the start of something bigger though.

I love a good Kraken story.

This had my interest but the end doesn't really feel like an end. Not a truly satisfying one, anyway.

You have a great imagination, and the idea here is pretty cool. Maybe expand it?? Hope you do!

Seriously? 7.6M liters of salt water? WTF was I thinking when I wrote this. Don't know why I made Frank to be such a douchebag either. Between being overly dense and the exposition, I could've saved a page and added more action.

BTW - Biosphere 2 does exist and I've toured it a number of times. Filming would be allowed and they would probably welcome the publicity and extra$$. Shoestring budget...perhaps but who knows. Not a budget killer by any means.

Definitely appreciate the bits of praise and all the criticism - thanks.

John, I had no idea who wrote this when I reviewed it.

Hyper Epics.