Big fan of the heart thumping in the briefcase. The girl with stitches in her mouth would be pretty awesome to see, too. Nice ghostly revenge story.

The right train/wrong train stuff at the beginning was a little hard to follow. The doctor had a few too many "What's going on/This can't be happening" lines.

To much exposition for my liking, which unfortunately was need as the girl doesn't speak.

But there are some nice visuals and I liked the idea too.

Decent effort

This is a great story. Awesome ending. It's overwritten though, and John's dialog...yikes. But the most important part is a good story and you nailed that.

Leaning out your action lines will quicken the pace of your story.

Great entry.

Nearly missed this one, and that wouldn't have been good - cause this is great!

Very Lynchian feel to the beating heart. Echoes of Ghost here too, but in a good way.
Love the head out the window with the oncoming train hurtling the other way.

As soon as we got to the organs bit you lost me slightly, and his confession seemed a bit easy to come by, (but you wouldn't have been able to get to the 'greed' part without it) but you got me back with the ending, the neon sign etc., great visual.

Terrific in pulling me back in at the end.
Tweak a few tonal inconsistencies imho, but a very nice Horor Short.

Dialogue needs a scrubbing but fun idea. I really like the Dante's Inferno element of it. Good effort.