Nothing Compares To You by S. O'Connor - A man resorts to desperate measures to win back the affections of his one true love.  Short, Drama

First out of the gates. The song title lured me in....

Opening slug should be Ext., I believe. By description, anyway. Just a one or two liner to set location and then do either Int. or Int./Ext. Car.

Decent banter for the most part. A couple clunky lines that could be easily fixed but not bad overall.

*Spoiler*

I had a feeling where this was going. I'm glad it was something more than the typical...you know.

Good job, writer. Fits the parameters and low budget too.

I had Spotify on, so I played the song whilst reading. LOL. Well done and written. Nice aha at the end. It said drama - could lean more into comedy.

Love the song, both versions, and liked this too BUT didn't come across as drama in any way really, and not really properly snarky enough, just mho of course.

Barry's speech is just so unbelievable and unlikely that I can only really read it with a grin on my face... a big grin though.

Given the setup I'd consider changing Barry's name to Lars or Ryan

Good effort.

Haha,

I thought it was a very nice piece of writing. The dialogue was fine, I could see the characters and the way the scene played in my head, and immediately liked them.  The kicker -- loved your sue of the third variable here. You done good for yourself with this you methinks. Great read. Not going to nit-pick. Also one of my favs. Best of Irish luck! -A

Hi Writer,

Very talky script that lands more like a dark comedy skit than a drama.

I'm not sure I'd call this a realistic relationship, or I'm just completely out of touch.

The writing's pretty good but I think you could have injected some action between the dialogue to mix it up a bit.

Going to be middle of the road for me.

All the best.

I like it. There are some sharp lines. I particularly like "trout mouth." Lots of good little things to show annoyance. It is strange to think that "Nothing Compares to You" is now something that people in their 60s listened to, but I guess that is the case. There are two shocking revelations at the end, and they work for me, mostly.

The long speeches about the nature of being a man near the end of the script did not feel natural to me. That might be an area for improvement.

Good stuff. Suffers just a bit from the Lars (one of my all time favorite movies) overlap. Which is too bad, but unavoidable.

Still, it was a great twist and a bunch of fun. Nice moment where the wife switches from horrified to laughing out loud. A perfect transition for the script. Well done.

Haha! You got me.
I did not see that coming.

Dialogue in one spot needs a less writer-y revamp, bit much maybe.
Otherwise I enjoyed it a lot!

The ending was surprising here!

Even then, too much talking going on, and didn't really get the vibes of estrangement. Considering the script as a whole, it lands on the dark comedy side for me.  

Good luck.

Hey LC,

Found something recent.

Spoilers:

Cute story. Love the ending. Didn’t see it coming lol.

I don’t know about the couple’s age though. While I was reading, I thought of them as young.
It’s up to you though.

If guess another suggestion will be maybe having more back and forth between the couple. His wife should interrupt him more., you know. But it’s up to your discretion. It flowed smoothly as is.

Hope this helps,
Gabe

Hi Gabe, great to see you!

Thanks for bumping this. You have reminded me I should upload it without Sinead's name at the top - now, there was a talent!

This tied second (a three way tie) so I was pretty happy with it, but I'll bear your comments in mind when I look at it again.