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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    1Q '24 OWC  ›  Siege - OWC
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Pleb
Posted: March 1st, 2024, 1:08pm Report to Moderator
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Hey writer,

Great idea to have taken it in such an unexpected direction. Really wasn't expecting anything like that.

The first page felt like hard work initially but once I got past that I really enjoyed it, especially the dialogue.


The ending was a bit unexpected though. Why the explosion? Was it from making moonshine or did I miss something?

Good luck!


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khamanna
Posted: March 3rd, 2024, 1:40pm Report to Moderator
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It was hard for me to get into the dialog but I'm international

The story is funny and I loved the final note. Good punch to the story!n Nice

no more than 4 lines in a narrative - that's like a must. and better not number the scenes. I was told that before and just passing it on. Good luck to you with it!
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Stoneyscripts
Posted: March 3rd, 2024, 2:31pm Report to Moderator
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This one carried a little weight. Once again it felt more like scene from a bigger story. The ending sifficed though. Quite well written but some format errors to look out for.


My Screenplays
Two Moons
The Deadly Fruit Of Original Sin
The Blue Room
No Time For Love
The Source
The Pearl Earring
The Bigger The Storm
Before She Died

And many many more...
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