I think you had a really inspired idea. And you had me up until the toilet - that was far fetched. And the fact he actually shopped for her as well as himself. And the final act where clearly an ambulance needs calling - he was the one with two phones, but he chooses not to make the call.

I think my opinion comes down to creative choices and whether I'd enjoy watching this film. I'd like the version where these two are forty years younger and a medical emergency brings them back together and they realise finally what they stood to lose. That would be a crowd pleaser. That's the conventional approach and I understand you decided to go the other way, verging on satirical - even a little allegorical given the strife in this world.

All that said, this is well written, and a sound idea. It just didn't make me feel much emotionally - which is my gauge.

Well, I lost LC and that's always a bad sign. (Though, in my defense, she had the two phones.)

Anyway, the original title was "Bitter Half." I was looking to write something along the lines of War of the Roses.

But, as I started to write, I saw that they were actually being nice to each other. And, that made me think: It's WAY more interesting if they have strong, decades-long relationship with just one major flaw.

That's why he buys her groceries. They love each other. They care about each other. They've just been in this argument so long, they've totally integrated it into their lives. It no longer even occurs to either of them that they can break the rules--even in this important moment. That level of acceptance is also why Richard, at the end, just accepts half the house being torn down...of course that's the next step...and even continues to live there. (As implausible as that is.)

Oh, and thanks for all the reads and comments!!!! This place is the best.

Quoted from PKCardinal Well, I lost LC and that's always a bad sign. (Though, in my defense, she had the two phones.) Anyway, the original title was "Bitter Half." I was looking to write something along the lines of War of the Roses. But, as I started to write, I saw that they were actually being nice to each other. And, that made me think: It's WAY more interesting if they have strong, decades-long relationship with just one major flaw. That's why he buys her groceries. They love each other. They care about each other. They've just been in this argument so long, they've totally integrated it into their lives. It no longer even occurs to either of them that they can break the rules--even in this important moment. That level of acceptance is also why Richard, at the end, just accepts half the house being torn down...of course that's the next step...and even continues to live there. (As implausible as that is.)

Paul, my mistake in not reading that bit properly
re the phones.
And, you just did a great job of selling me your story too.

P.S. There are no losers in an OWC.

Quoted from LC Paul, my mistake in not reading that bit properly re the phones. And, you just did a great job of selling me your story too. P.S. There are no losers in an OWC.

Oh, it ain't no thing. Just having a little fun 'splainin' what this story is SUPPOSED to be. It came close to being its best self, but, there's definite room for improvement. Re: the phone...I'm going to take that moment and make it active. Richard will scramble to dial the phone and drop it on the wrong side of the line. Can't believe I didn't think to do that in the first place.

No matter. Unless someone has a house they can tear down...this one's not getting made. Still, I've got a few little touches to put on it...just for me.

As for no losers in an OWC...ya' got that right. Just having another short in the portfolio makes me feel good. I just love these things.