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Simply Super - OWC (currently 3006 views) |
Don |
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 10:04am |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16561 Posts Per Day 1.92 |
Simply Super by 0 - Short, Comedy - Newbie writers threaten the Simply Scripts bastion with their methods. Is there a hero out there to stop them? Well...possibly lol. 6 pages pdf - pdf, format |
| Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.
------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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irish eyes |
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 1:16pm |
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January Project Group There`s too much blood in my alcohol
LocationUpstate New York Posts1861 Posts Per Day 0.35 |
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Reply: 1 - 27 |
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SAC |
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 1:25pm |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3228 Posts Per Day 0.76 |
Writer,
Good show. Loved your opening paragraph - sorry, action block. Great idea to use An SS member as your hero, and spot on in some areas. It made me smile. My second one in and this is pretty good!
Steve |
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Reply: 2 - 27 |
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Equinox |
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 1:25pm |
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January Project Group
LocationGermany Posts345 Posts Per Day 0.10 |
Can't open this one, all I get is a black page in acrobat reader and an error message. |
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Reply: 3 - 27 |
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grademan |
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 3:01pm |
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Been Around
LocationWisconsin Posts871 Posts Per Day 0.15 |
The only thing I'd change would be the name SPACE GHOST! |
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Reply: 4 - 27 |
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Wes |
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 4:11pm |
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New
LocationOakland, CA 94602 Posts163 Posts Per Day 0.04 |
Tried to open this one and also got a black page but no error message. I was able to download it and read it.
I like it a lot but that may be because I'm a newbie here myself. Really making an effort now to participate.
Anyway, just one little objective comment . . . on the first page ALEX is the character speaking four times in a row. Was that what you wanted? I was a little confused.
Enjoyed it. Thanks. |
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Reply: 5 - 27 |
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Ryan1 |
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 8:03pm |
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Old Timer
Posts1098 Posts Per Day 0.21 |
Funny little riff on the opening Batman scene, with the twisted, misshapen Bushman filling in for the dark knight. "Slurp on my pork sword" is the early contender for line of the challenge. |
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Reply: 6 - 27 |
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DarrenJamesSeeley |
Posted: April 24th, 2016, 11:57pm |
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January Project Group
LocationMichigan.USA Posts1518 Posts Per Day 0.30 |
script opened for me with no problem. Some generic characters (SS Dude, SS Girl) didn't please me in the read due to generics, a character gives a synopsis of a story which makes a mouthful, and I can't get into this. I'll try again later if I'm in a better frame of mind- but for now, it reads very last minute thought up on the fly.
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khamanna |
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 1:36am |
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January Project Group
Posts4222 Posts Per Day 0.77 |
I thought they said and did random stuff. Like when one of them handed the other the copy of his short script - didn't get what for. Or when they say that Bush is gonna be after them.
Then again my attention wasn't in it - I don't like this kind of scripts. So maybe you better just disregard my post. |
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Reply: 8 - 27 |
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DanC |
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 1:40am |
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Old Timer Killing villains since 1980!
LocationBuffalo NY Posts1129 Posts Per Day 0.33 |
It opened for me too. Jeff, if you wrote this, I will be very upset.
it was original and it was funny at points. It was odd. It read as a 6 page story, not as a joke told in 6 pages or less.
7/10 |
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Reply: 9 - 27 |
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MarkRenshaw |
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 3:59am |
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January Project Group
LocationUK Posts2326 Posts Per Day 0.56 |
Didn’t open for me, I just got a black screen. If anyone has the same issue, just choose the ‘Open With Different Viewer’ option or download it and it works fine.
A Simply Script Spoof, I loved it, although only people from this forum would really appreciate it. ‘I’m out by page one man’ made me lol for real.
-Mark |
| For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK |
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Reply: 10 - 27 |
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eldave1 |
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 1:12pm |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts6874 Posts Per Day 1.86 |
Okay - this one - so far - has gotten the biggest laugh for me. Sure, it's audience is going to be somewhat limited to SS ers - but I definitely was not out on page 1. I quite liked this. My favorite so far. |
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Reply: 11 - 27 |
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alffy |
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 1:37pm |
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Old Timer
LocationThe bleak North East, England Posts2187 Posts Per Day 0.33 |
I'm out by page one, sorry.
Ha, kinda liked this one. Could have done with the SS Dude and Girl having names but overall it was funny and pretty true too lol |
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Reply: 12 - 27 |
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AnthonyCawood |
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 3:52pm |
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January Project Group
LocationUK Posts4367 Posts Per Day 1.10 |
Smiled and chuckled throughout the read, I know it's all in-jokes for us, but hey, seemed perfect for this OWC
Good effort |
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Reply: 13 - 27 |
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Dreamscale |
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 4:18pm |
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Guest User
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Reply: 14 - 27 |
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IamGlenn |
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 4:33pm |
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January Project Group :)
LocationDublin, Ireland, Europe, The World. Posts693 Posts Per Day 0.19 |
0,
Some will love this. Many do, it seems. Just not for me.
Good luck.
Glenn. |
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Reply: 15 - 27 |
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SKN |
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 7:16pm |
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New
Posts32 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
It's a genius satire and pure comedy, I am new so I had to look for this Bush dude (dreamscale?) and voila, he was out by page 2 on my OWC entry, and i get the jokes.
Very funny stuff, lots of LoLs. thx for the laf |
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Reply: 16 - 27 |
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Dreamscale |
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 7:22pm |
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Guest User
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It's a genius satire and pure comedy, I am new so I had to look for this Bush dude (dreamscale?) and voila, he was out by page 2 on my OWC entry, and i get the jokes.
Very funny stuff, lots of LoLs. thx for the laf |
Ah yes...the bush dude, is indeed Dreamscale. And I'm 99.9% sure who wrote this one. |
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Reply: 17 - 27 |
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SKN |
Posted: April 25th, 2016, 7:51pm |
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New
Posts32 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
Quoted from Dreamscale
Ah yes...the bush dude, is indeed Dreamscale. And I'm 99.9% sure who wrote this one.
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Ah shit, man, pls don't take offence of my comment, it's all fun. You are the hero here imo, makes noobs rethink their approach and the seriousness of the craft, while not taking ourselves too seriously. It's all gud dude. |
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Reply: 18 - 27 |
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Dreamscale |
Posted: April 26th, 2016, 8:14am |
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Guest User
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Ah shit, man, pls don't take offence of my comment, it's all fun. You are the hero here imo, makes noobs rethink their approach and the seriousness of the craft, while not taking ourselves too seriously. It's all gud dude. |
Offense? Hell no. Peeps may hate me, but they definitely love to hate me. |
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Reply: 19 - 27 |
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DustinBowcot |
Posted: April 26th, 2016, 8:29am |
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Guest User
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Tried a couple of times now to slog my way through this script and I have to skip each time. It's not delivering. It's smart but should be a lot smarter. |
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Reply: 20 - 27 |
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Reef Dreamer |
Posted: April 26th, 2016, 3:58pm |
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Old Timer Part time writer
LocationThe Island of Jersey Posts2609 Posts Per Day 0.55 |
And the denim shorts return...
As mark says, at least you can get away with this in this OWC.
Out by page one man, I suppose it beats Slugman ! |
| My scripts HERE
The Elevator Most Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr |
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Reply: 21 - 27 |
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Gary in Houston |
Posted: April 26th, 2016, 4:36pm |
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Old Timer
LocationTexas Posts1305 Posts Per Day 0.30 |
I have about 20 guesses who wrote this. Doesn't matter. Still like it, even though some of the humor was pretty hit and miss. Still quite a bit of fun.
Verdict: Consider |
| Some of my scripts:
Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner The Gambler (short) - OWC winner Skip (short) - filmed Country Road 12 (short) - filmed The Family Man (short) - filmed The Journeyers (feature) - optioned
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Reply: 22 - 27 |
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James McClung |
Posted: April 26th, 2016, 7:51pm |
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Of The Ancients
LocationWashington, D.C. Posts3293 Posts Per Day 0.47 |
This was better than I expected and reasonably well-written for basically a lark. The two biggest punchlines (OUT BY ONE PAGE MAN and the finale) landed as well. I chuckled... in my head.
Not much to say about this one. A bit of fun, but kinda old hat. I've read more than my share of these scripts over the years... including Simply BBQ... which I forgot about until now... which I just looked up again. Still posted! Thanks for reminding me. |
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Reply: 23 - 27 |
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Cameron |
Posted: April 27th, 2016, 6:18am |
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Guest User
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I think this is one for the longer standing members of the site, didn't get all the references myself. Still was pretty good, been around here long enough to see the "Tarantino" defence used a few times, that was funny. |
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Reply: 24 - 27 |
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Lightfoot |
Posted: April 27th, 2016, 9:56am |
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LocationLondon, Ontario Posts378 Posts Per Day 0.06 |
Only getting a black screen for this one |
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Reply: 25 - 27 |
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PrussianMosby |
Posted: April 27th, 2016, 11:38am |
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Posts1395 Posts Per Day 0.35 |
Too many insider jokes who only relate to this site's users. Presentation is good. Probably a story about amateur screenwriters and gurus in general; industrialization of our craft and the constant exploitation of the naïve; could enlarge the target audience, make a point and even succeed. But I think it wasn't your goal… so, good for what it is.
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Reply: 26 - 27 |
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EWall433 |
Posted: May 1st, 2016, 9:23pm |
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New
Posts423 Posts Per Day 0.10 |
Doesn’t seem sensible to give much input on a pisser, so I’ll just say I enjoyed it. Knew ‘out by page one’ would have to be a punchline sooner or later. |
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Reply: 27 - 27 |
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