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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    April 2016 OWC  ›  The Seamstress††- OWC Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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Cam Gray
Posted: April 27th, 2016, 4:29am Report to Moderator
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Liked the Affleck Bale interaction, not sure the Seamstress was really enough of a superhero to slot this comfortably into the brief, but it was good fun and something different.

Well done


23 Mu Muís in an ice cream van...
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PrussianMosby
Posted: April 27th, 2016, 11:48am Report to Moderator
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The name Christian Bale made me yawn...
I always dislike reading a script all the way knowing that only ridiculous looking doubles of real starlets could act in. It's not even a try and I'd prefer any weird material over celebrity fantasy scripts. Sorry, not my taste. But others seem to like it, so what...



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IamGlenn
Posted: April 28th, 2016, 6:10am Report to Moderator
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This one didn't really follow the rules, as there's no new hero here. Having said that, I quite enjoyed it. It was funny in parts, without it being LOL funny. It was well written and pretty clever. I enjoyed the ending too.

Nice work.

Glenn.


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Dustin
Posted: April 29th, 2016, 6:31am Report to Moderator
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A seamstress cannot be a man. It just can't. The ess at the end denotes the feminine form. The male form would be Tailor or, if such a thing ever existed, then the word, Seamster would do it. You just can't have a male seamstress. It defies grammar, god-damn you!

I initially liked the idea of a seamstress that fixes/makes superhero costumes, thought it was original... but I now see that it has already been done and this is a rip-off. I couldn't read all the way to the end, so never did get to understand why actors are in the tailor's. I just couldn't get along with this type of humour.


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Dreamscale
Posted: April 29th, 2016, 8:04am Report to Moderator
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Like Dustin, I agree that a seamstress cannot be male...it just doesn't make sense.

I stayed in to Page 4 and saw no attempts at humor and no super hero.

I am not put off by using real life peeps, but these 2 didn't do or say anything interesting, funny, or funny.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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James McClung
Posted: May 1st, 2016, 5:12pm Report to Moderator
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Ditto on the gender issue. Ought to be tailor. I'll let it slide, though, since the script made mention of it. Anyway...

Well-written. Strong concept. Dug everything up to the transfer of power.

Basically, the punchline is... nothing happens; just the "L" and a portable bidet. This is pretty lame, but also doesn't make sense. Even though it had absolutely nothing to do with the proceedings, the seamstress was still prepared to do something with the bidet. What... and why? Even if we accept the punchline, there's still the situation of the seamstress basically going "I'm just going to hold this" for no reason.

Best part was all the Batman posturing. I could've gone for more of that. Strangely, the jokes during the transfer weren't as funny though. Not sure why.

Not bad, I guess. Just wish you'd done more with the idea.


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EWall433
Posted: May 1st, 2016, 9:39pm Report to Moderator
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The writing is really good. Maybe... too good. It actually slows the read down somewhat and sets up a tone that doesnít quite fit with Christian Bale and Ben Affleck walking through the door.

I really like this one. Nice little spoof on passing the torch from one actor to another with a good Ryan Reynolds gag at the end. I could see this airing as a late night show skit with the actual actors and it fitting right in.

Might have to knock off points for lacking a superhero, though.
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