hey guys,
i've noticed quite a few people posting their short films on here, so since i just finished one i thought i'd throw it up here as well! it's my little adaptation of alice in wonderland made last weekend with my sisters and my dog ahah. it's to add to my portfolio for admission to film production in university. let me know what you guys think, any tips or criticism is greatly appreciated.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y_EKCvnmyE0

Kev,

This is going to come across as mean, but that is not my intent.  For someone who can't reach the 'shift' key when typing, I'm quite impressed.  Sound quality was pretty good.  Courtney and Nicole show much promise as actors.  The effects were good considering what you had to work with.  My only 'harsh' criticisms are: Mad Hatter scene, the music overpowered the dialouge.  The pacing at the beginning could have been tightened up.  And, most importantly, the story didn't come across for me very clearly.  It appeared that Alice's wish was for a world with no rules, but the consequence of that didn't come across at the end.  

With all that being said, you and your actors (dog included) should rightly feel quite proud of this.  So happens this weekend I watched the 1990's BBC Narnia series and your special effects quite surpassed those of the series.  

If you have the script you wrote for this, I'll get it and the film up on the site.

Don

thanks for watching guys!
haha, yeah i just like the lower case, i'm all about shifts and proper grammar when it comes to scripts and so on but when i don't have to, i don't. i really apperciate you giving me advice though, i can agree with everything said! i now notice in the mad hatter scene what your talking about, i guess i didn't realize so much because i've heard the clip over and over and i knew what was being said, i should really go back and fix that up. my parents also said the same thing about the story, i guess i'm assuming too much of the audience because not everyones as fimiliar with the story of 'alice in wonderland' but yeah i understand. thanks again for the tips and the viewing, i'll do some more work on this before i send it in for my portfolio!

Not bad at all.  I liked how you had the sweet and girlish vibe through your short. You could of thrown in a few unicorns and Rainbowbrite.

But me personly, I'm more into the gothic version of Alice and you see plenty of them on Youtube too.

The blue screen stuff looked amazing, loved the vibrant backgrounds.

Got nothing bad to say about it but agree with Don that the pacing is a bit dull. stretched out.  Considering your obvious limitations, I think you kicked this one in the balls. Loved to see what you could do with a bit more creative freedom.  

Not bad.  I echo the other's opinions.

A nice effort overall.

This was very good.  My only problem is that it ran a little long.  You have Alice looking around a few too many times.  I think if you trim these down, you can shave a minute or so from the running time.


Phil

I really liked it. I wish I could see the complete version (you did say you had to trim a little bit for youtube, right?)

I hope all goes well for you.

--Julio