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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    January 2018 Two Week Challenge  ›  Brave New World - Scripts of the 2WC Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Brave New World - Scripts of the 2WC  (currently 8806 views)
Scar Tissue Films
Posted: January 28th, 2018, 2:38am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
I just want to start with a big thank you for everyone who participated, didn't participate or considered participating. What would SimplyScripts' OWCs be without all of you to share it with? =)



Let's be honest, Don. Without you, there's no OWC, period, so a huge thanks goes out especially for you.



In some ways, yes. In others, no. Me, personally, when I come up with an OWC theme, I try and come up with things that allow for originality and variation. I hate the idea of people thinking that they're forced into such a tight restriction that they're worried they might write a script similar to 10 other people. At the same time, Rick made a good point in the lead-up to the contest when he said a lot of the recent OWCs (I'm paraphrasing) are more about wacky ideas instead of character and he listed most of mine. He's right. I suck with creating characters and, as a result, character-based ideas. That's why we like to encourage other people to set up OWCs, to get some unique voices out there to challenge everyone else. Keep it fun and fresh and interesting.



It's true that I had originally considered a 3WC for this one instead of 2 weeks, but I had a feeling that people would be getting antsy with that long of a timeline, so I knocked it back and took a chance.



Absolutely. I also don't really like the idea of DQ'ing people's scripts, anyway. I like to leave it up to the reviewers to make that call because everyone out there is an individual and has their own line on how far you can push the rules before it becomes unacceptable. At the same time, I do like for all comments to be constructive, but I don't think a script where someone at least attempted to fit it within the parameters should automatically be disqualified.



No need to apologize. It's a challenge, it's there for fun and for everyone to enjoy. It's not this obligation that, if you don't take part in it, you're hurting my feelings. Although, you are hurting my feelings by not participating... I'm kidding.

In all seriousness, though, don't sweat it if you miss out on this one. There are always going to be more OWCs. If not run by others, than by me. I've got six pages of OWC ideas saved up, just for the hell of it, so if you miss one, jump in the next. =)


It wasn't me that criticised the themes, it was Prussian Moby. Your themes have all been good, as far as I'm concerned... Including this one.  

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Talldave
Posted: January 28th, 2018, 10:27am Report to Moderator
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Thanks to everyone who gets these OWC going, and makes them as great as they are. They have helped me evolve so much quicker as writer than I ever could have by myself.

That being said, as a relative newcomer to this place, I have something I want to say about this whole challenge process.

I’ve noticed there is a trend to almost forget what these challenges are really about. These challenges aren’t a proving ground to show your worth as a writer, they are a safe place to push yourself in areas you aren’t normally comfortable exploring as a writer in a place that it can and will be critiqued by other writers.

So, the obsession with meeting the challenges parameters, or judging others stories on whether or not you understood the fine nuances of every line when you only do one read through should be left at the door. The anger and frustration of every negatively received comment shouldn’t bring you down. The idea is to produce a professional quality product in a week, not because the winner is a better writer and is more likely to be a successful writer, but because this is the best training a writer can get to assure that they perform even better THE NEXT TIME THEY WRITE!

For the readers, these short film screenplays are a lot like poetry, every line matters. Not just the words, but the tone and the context and the rhythm. Fifteen pages is an incredibly small amount of space to create a world within, so the truth is you are GUARANTEED to not understand the entirety of a script in the first read through. Don’t worry about it, just criticize what you do understand so you the person who wrote it can maybe learn something and be better.

For the writers, this is training, not the Super Bowl, or World Cup. Find a discipline that you feel needs work, and make your script about making that one or two parts of your writing better. If you can’t write dialogue, write a dialogue heavy script so you know people will pick apart your dialogue and give you more feedback on it.

Don’t get mad at me for making my little speech, I know most of this is common knowledge, but I feel a little reminder never hurts.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: January 28th, 2018, 11:52am Report to Moderator
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What good are choices if they're all bad?

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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
It wasn't me that criticised the themes, it was Prussian Moby. Your themes have all been good, as far as I'm concerned... Including this one.  


See? You try and give someone credit for making a good point and they refuse to accept it. Lol. I thought it had been you, Rick, but since it wasn't, Prussian, you made a really good point.


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eldave1
Posted: January 28th, 2018, 12:04pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Warren
I think this is the least amount of entries I've seen for any challenge. Did most people not enter because of the requirements?

Does that beg the question of whether the requirements should be "easier" for lack of a better word, for the OWC to be more inclusive?

Just playing devil's advocate.


I didn't enter because of time constraints (family visits, other projects, etc.).

I thought the premise was an interesting one, well stated and easy to understand.

I am not a fan of a minimum # of pages. Always prefer a "no more than" type parameter.

Mulling it over, I think some on the non-participation (and this is just a wild ass guess on my part) may be rooted in a sense that the type of stories would not naturally generate an otherwise commercially viable short.

For most of the OWCs, I think writers could easily visualize their script garnering interest outside the challenge (i.e., the scripts were typically low to modest budget, had tight locations - taxis, elevators, board games, etc). This theme almost by definition involved higher budget, multi-character. complex locations, etc.) that really leans  more towards feature then it does short.

Again, I'm just spit balling as I would have certainly entered had I had the time and I really thought the theme provided for a great writing exercise.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Stumpzian
Posted: January 28th, 2018, 1:54pm Report to Moderator
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Whatever the reason for the number of entries, it's nice to have the luxury of reading only
10 other scripts. It gives me a chance to read in more depth, and it's fairer to the writers.



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khamanna
Posted: January 28th, 2018, 5:13pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from eldave1



Mulling it over, I think some on the non-participation (and this is just a wild ass guess on my part) may be rooted in a sense that the type of stories would not naturally generate an otherwise commercially viable short.



Yes, I wrote mine but then did not submit. One of the reasons is - I was not planning to rewrite and thought it would be wrong to have other writers read it and not pay attention to their critique.

But I used the challenge as a writing exercise anyway, so I'm happy there was one.

Mine would be another one about Japan, and there's already two of these in the challenge. 10 scripts and two on the same subject. Would have been three. Interesting.  
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: January 28th, 2018, 6:00pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from PrussianMosby


Okay, I buy it, although I'm not sure if I shouldn't just leave it as is,

but I try to explain...

It's not about persons, and it was important to me to thank everyone engaged in the closing statement there, which includes you.

IMO This challenge especially misses a connection with the audience. When you need to construct so much, where's meaning and expression toward recipient?

It's a thing that isn't secondary. People here, are sensible, they want progress, confront, cherish, and challenge their readers and viewers. Imo I don't see how the parameter about changing something from the past would be beneficial to an audience when it's anyway about the way, it is then -> then - There tell us your story it was here. To tell the story which bases on the fact that… how, why, it makes no sense other than distancing us from the audience.

I just "guess" that what I said, even happens through instincts, subconscious of the writers here. They feel it's against goal or comlicating goal of serving other people. They are not in math or physics, they are no engineers who ""construct"".



Alternate history stories are a well established genre.

Some of the world's greatest writers have dabbled in the field.

Any story you write, no matter when or where it is set reflects the current world... The world of the audience.


In order to connect with the audience, you take something important to you/society, then exaggerate it by constructing your world.

For instance, if you are upset that the Regressive Left are becoming too domineering through political correctness and shutting down free speech and opinion, you create a story where the USSR never split up and instead took over Europe.

The story then is set in that Europe and is about the suppression of free speech and makes an analogy to modern life. Ie this is the path we're going down if we're not careful.

When you complain about the themes, you often seem to have this curious view that the challenge  provided somehow prevents you writing deeper themes, or characters. They are not mutually exclusive. Those parts of the equation are entirely up to you.

Even if someone gives out the most generic theme: Horror/Slasher for instance... It doesn't prevent you from building deep characters and introducing deep themes. You can even mechanically pick them.  I'll do a Feminist horror slasher about domestic abuse, for instance.

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Scar Tissue Films  -  January 28th, 2018, 6:11pm
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PrussianMosby
Posted: January 28th, 2018, 6:22pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films



Alternate history stories are a well established genre.

Some of the world's greatest writers have dabbled in the field.

Any story you write, no matter when or where it is set reflects the current world... The world of the audience.


In order to connect with the audience, you take something important to you/society, then exaggerate it by constructing your world.

For instance, if you are upset that the Regressive Left are becoming too domineering through political correctness and shutting down free speech and opinion, you create a story where the USSR never split up and instead took over Europe.

The story then is set in that Europe and is about the suppression of free speech and makes an analogy to modern life. Ie this is the path we're going down if we're not careful.

When you complain about the themes, you often seem to have this curious view that the challenge  provided somehow prevents you writing deeper themes, or characters. They are not mutually exclusive. Those parts of the equation are entirely up to you.

Even if someone gives out the most generic theme: Horror/Slasher for instance... It doesn't prevent you from building deep characters and introducing deep themes. You can even mechanically pick them.  I'll do a Feminist horror slasher about domestic abuse, for instance.


I take it back. Let's leave it an echo chamber of a great theme choice. I thought it was an outcome where a critique is valid without an epic backtalk discussion. Got no power for that. I shouldn't have replied at first-

And I disagree with your exaggeration view btw:  "you take something important to you/society, then exaggerate it by constructing your world"










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PrussianMosby
Posted: January 28th, 2018, 7:13pm Report to Moderator
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Whatever, I still review but differently if I may,


Titles in order from top ("without looking into genre"):

@ 0-3 point

Not Even God Himself   (strange, reminds me of Aguirre, aggressive, controversial, human) 3

Signal Fire (call for adventure? Hope you're in thriller genre) 3

Sapere Aude (I don't understand you, tell me) 2,5

Miss Yemmie (peculiar enough) 2,5

A New Plan For Fat Man (bring it across shorter) 2

Full circle (should be a drama or it's a pass) 2

--- the "not so exciting" ones with explanations

Fire and Water (not enough) 1,5

Olympic (sounds like a budget feature film, not a short) 1,5

The 13th Generation (in 2010th no numbers in title) 1

Operation Downfall (sorry, forgettable) 1

The Broken Kingdom (Too many projects, big stuff walks around those words) 1




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Stumpzian
Posted: January 28th, 2018, 8:08pm Report to Moderator
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PrussianMosby (Alex?): I like your title evaluations.



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DarrenJamesSeeley
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I'm convinced. In my rewrite I'll change the title to " The Wheat From the Chaff" as far as titles go.


"I know you want to work for Mo Fuzz. And Mo Fuzz wants you to. But first, I'm going to need to you do something for me... on spec." - Mo Fuzz, Tapeheads, 1988
my scripts on ss : http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1095531482/s-45/#num48
The Art!http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-knowyou/m-1190561532/s-105/#num106
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MarkRenshaw
Posted: January 29th, 2018, 4:25am Report to Moderator
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Right, starting to review these bad boys (and girls) now. I've decided if I can't figure out what the timeline change is, or the effects this change has had on this world, I may mention this fact but I'm not going to score against it or let it influence me in any way. That being said, as long as it makes sense. If Hitler was never born and now we have an invasion of giant penguins as a result, well...that I may question!


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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khamanna
Posted: January 29th, 2018, 6:11am Report to Moderator
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Alex, that's a fun thing to do!

Titles, titles.

I liked the 13th Generation and the Broken Kingdom.
The rest - meh.

Haha, being mean feels so nice! Always.

(and Sapere Aude is super odd - talking about the title)
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MarkRenshaw
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Just try to bear in mind these are working titles and vomit drafts. It's easier to destroy than it is to create


For more of my scripts, stories, produced movies and the ocassional blog, check out my new website. CLICK
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khamanna
Posted: January 29th, 2018, 7:12am Report to Moderator
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Thinking about it - Operation Downfall sounds good to me too.

And I noticed I picked those Alex didn't like as much. Interesting - proves once again you can't please them all. Although possibly there are some strong titles out there everyone bound to like.

I like a title tell me a little what the script is going to be about. For example, Operation Downfall is either a war script or somehow related to a war. I get that solely from the title.
Broken Kingdom I'm guessing is about politicians.
13 Generations - this one just sounds intriguing, maybe because it suggests some kind of mystery.

A New Plan For Fat Man suggests a slapstick comedy. So, I might check that one out.
Miss Yemmie - actually this one is not bad for me at all. It tells me it's going to follow a limited number of characters and I like that.
Full Circle - I read and can't comment since I already know what it's about.
Sapere Aude - I read. But the title doesn't tell me anything, I don't understand it and that's why it can't be my favorite.
Not Even God Himself - not sure about this one, because it can be about many different subjects. Therefore, not my favorite title.
Signal Fire - I don't understand the phrase.

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