Some really nice and vivid visuals on display with this script and another one that's definitely a bit out there. Nazi's, ebola, sex. The second one I've read that is unconventional to say the least. Good job.

Ebola, Hitler, and a guy named Kevin? Why haven't I read this already?

"Please note: Conversations within description blocks are
(MOS) -> without sound." That's, ahem, strange. Read the script for Motor City, the writer says something like this but better.

That Super also rivals the Je Me Sais Pas poster on the locker, neither make too much sense. Eric's got a few of the reactions right...

The broken writing style that's been put there purposely is distracting more than anything, the lack of periods signify you simply forgot to put your thoughts in order rather than the fact you want our eyes to lead to the next sentence. Use ellipses or double dashes. The actual visuals themselves are really confusing as well, I've read Gene's death a few times already and I still can't get a clear image on what's happening. "Mindless Gene's overturning several times."?

"ADOLF HITLER, mass murderer and suicide."

And you give Hitler the only dialogue! I don't know what to say, except that I'm pleased.

"We know whose rehearsed postures these are." Do we? Is it Hitler?

I'm with Jeff on this, I'm not entirely sure whether this is a serious attempt or not. Besides the Hitler and Ebola parts, I don't think I even smiled, which is a shame, since it was some good pisstake territory. Apologies if it isn't, but I would've preferred had the read not frustrated the reader and be easy to get through, which are the qualities of both a comedy and a pisser, depending on what you're right to write.

Uh, I'm really not sure what to think about this one.  

Actually, I do have a few ideas.  I give the writer lots of credit for going absolutely crazy with the concepts here.  The writing's...  kind of clunky, which I'm not sure is intentional, or just a newer writer that hasn't gotten their groove yet.  (Lines like "doctors fight for his life and lose.") Another thing I do give this writer credit for is a sense of humor under it all.  There's a sort of wink-wink nod-nod vibe going on in this one.  Polish your wordsmithing a bit, and let that shine.  

Cheers,

--J (W)

Quoted from wonkavite Another thing I do give this writer credit for is a sense of humor under it all.  There's a sort of wink-wink nod-nod vibe going on in this one...

Lol, I agree...

33.  The Soul Cleaner Vs. Hitler Vs. Kevin by Jasper Kidd - On a Halloween rave, searching for the restroom, drugged up Kevin collides with an overchallenged cleaning power, and Adolf Hitler, whose plan is to send more Ebola to the living.

Alright, I’m not “really” reading your screenplay, I’m going to “watch” this short horror-fantasy film and just make comments as I “watch.”

With a title like ‘The Soul Cleaner Vs. Hitler Vs. Kevin’ this’d better be fun. Juss sayin’.
Nice open. Was expecting more, tho.
Crazy corridor scene! Too bad it was just a dream. Or was it?!
Corvette scene: Okay. That happened.
FINALLY! Halfway through the story The Soul Cleaner and Hitler have arrived.
Ebola. Hmph. If you’re story is going to be silly it should actually be fun.
Whups. My bad. That was just a hallucination. Kinduva short one to hold the story’s title.
Eh… Uh… That just happened.
Over my humble head. Sorry.

Suggested construct alternatives:
- None. Maybe make the story fit the fantastic title better?