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The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.
NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressedwrittenpermission of the author.
Very nice! Wow, so you can write a sci-fi with a saw set in a car. Just look at it. A well-rounded story that makes excellent sense. I couldn't wait to see what the ending would be and you ended it just right. Very nice.
"muzak version of The Beastie Boys 'Sabotage' plays"
finally a moment when a music reference serves the story and world-building – nicely absurd
OS should be VO Actually, to me, (computer automated), established 'once', would do the entire job fine. There'd be nothing to misunderstand and you got the technical side off the page from there on…
p2,3 more movement in the picture, please
page break p3/4 - end a page with a full sentence
The vision is interesting and could make a fine little piece, then, as said above, you let miss movement during the conversation. Something should happen even if some secondary world-building stuff, anything…
Criteria met; story not bad at all, but could be more. The concept works and is worth to think about. I immediately imagined to 'costume' a today's drone for a nice, futuristic SF impression. All in all, a very solid take of you.