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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    The 2020 Writers' Tournament  ›  Lambs Versus Aliens - WT Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Lambs Versus Aliens - WT  (currently 649 views)
mmmarnie
Posted: July 9th, 2020, 6:06pm Report to Moderator
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I really liked your spin on the theme. Entertaining dialog. For me, the referee variable was pretty weak. She is a teacher but the way you did this, you could have said anything there to fit in a character variable.

So we have 5 pages to tell our story, which isn't a lot. You didn't properly intro 6 characters, I'm assuming to save space because you are obviously a capable screenwriter who I'm very sure knows you have to intro everyone who has dialog. You got more story in because you skimped on proper formatting. Hmm.

Best of luck to you.


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