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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    The 2020 Writers' Tournament  ›  The Depths - WT Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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PKCardinal
Posted: July 12th, 2020, 5:37pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for all the feedback. A quick rewrite was done to address a few of the obvious issues. I could expand this out further to make it more impactful, but I think I'll leave it sit after this quick polish.

Main change I made (which I considered but declined on the original draft) was to have the good Father caught slipping a spoon into his pocket at the cabin.

I didn't want to get too overt with the act, mainly because I wanted this to be a story of Jackson's emotionally-charged reaction to his mother's death.

Appreciate the help all!


PaulKWrites.com

60 Feet Under - Low budget, contained thriller/Feature
The Hand of God - Low budget, semi-contained thriller/Feature
Wait Till Next Year - Disney-style family sports comedy/Feature

Many shorts available for production: comedy, thriller, drama, light horror
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