Dude! This one's so nice. Easy to read and follow. Minor issues but they can be sorted. Suitable title. Amazingly character-oriented.

Just awesome.

Good luck.  

Hi,

Tight story and enjoyable.
All visual, no dialogue and a complete story.

Well done.

I'm not sure I've ever seen a crimson flame, maybe the wrong colour choice.

Not a bad no-dialogue script, they can be incredibly hard to pull off but I think you did a pretty good job here.

The only real issue for me is that the theme seems to be lacking.

Good effort.

Well-done psychological study. Even though it only dealt with one side of the nature/nurture debate, and the term Smoke Jumper applies to firemen who jump into forest fires, it was still a solid script.

Hmmm... thoughts from the Twilight Zone...

Overall, the idea behind the story seems very good, it was a fun read, and for the most part I could "see" it.  Truth be told, nothing substantial to add, imho, maybe 'Pyro' would have been a nice title, too.  No probs with Cole running in to save the woman, but I'm a bit iffy on the jumping out the window when a ladder would work, but i get it....

So I reckon at 24ft/2 stories or thereabouts you'd have a good chance of survival but almost certainly a trip to the emergency room. But just for shits&giggles...

d = assuming that a 2 story building is about 20 ft or approx 6 meters tall.
a = accel due to gravity = approx 10 m/s
a =v/t; v= at; and d = 1/2 at^2
so t = (sq root of (2 x 6 meters)/10 m/s^2)
the guy would fall for about 1.2 sec.
v = 10 m/s^2 x 1.2 s
that's about 12 meters/sec
converting meters back to feet to miles......

I say that he would hit the ground at about 24 mph with the whole force of his body behind him......about 160 lbs on average. Probably didn't feel a thing.... but I haven't had general physics in a long long time so you might want to check my math...

Sorry. A glimpse into my crazy thought processes as I review scripts. Good luck. I'm sure it'll score high.

Quoted from ghost and_ghostie gal a = accel due to gravity = approx 10 m/s

Did a mistake. 10 m/s^2.. Hope you don't mind.

Quoted from Yuvraj Did a mistake. 10 m/s^2.. Hope you don't mind.

@Writer. Let me hijack your thread for a second and address the previous poster.

Not at all, Yuvraj. My pleasure...

Yes, it's a mistake. Trust me on this one. My apologies to the writer for the thread hijack. Normal service is resumed.

Quoted from ghost and_ghostie gal @Writer. Let me hijack your thread for a second and address the previous poster. Not at all, Yuvraj. My pleasure... Yes, it's a mistake. Trust me on this one. My apologies to the writer for the thread hijack. Normal service is resumed.

Génial!

Every so often I like to read a script with no dialogue.

So there's no way to make a manila envelope intrinsic to a story as opposed to a gray envelope or just shoving crap in a desk drawer, so you did what Blondie asked of you.

Tracing back the story - a pyro who is devastated that he burned a few people during one of his excursions, and thus becomes a fire fighter.

His nature is to be a pyromaniac. He overcomes it, to a degree, and becomes nurturing as a firefighter.

However, this is slightly undermined because he sets the fires in order to make himself the hero. So while this is a very interesting exercise and will be highly successful outside of the parameters of the challenge - it's a great story - that was the only minor part I struggled with. More of a character study than an exploration in heredity vs. environment, but a pretty darn good character study.

Well done, writer -

AJR

I really wish I'd saved this for week 4 lol!

Thanks for the great comments. Instead of going down the sibling route, I wanted to show someone so obsessed with fire, they simply can't stop themselves even when it results in someone dying. Instead, they come up with a bizarre solution, one that is ultimately doomed to fail at some point, but they can't stop as it is in their nature.

I did drop a hint about nurture with the plain child's room with no toys, joy or love but I think I should have shown a family meal or something else to make that more obvious.

As for the name, I looked up different terms for Firefighter and came across Smoke Jumper. Never heard of it before and realised it meant parachuting fire fighters who fight forest firesbut then I thought what if the press gave this guy that nickname due to him jumping out of a window to save someone from a fire?

It didn't work. Someone even went to great lengths to show how that was mathematically impossible! I will rename it The Fire Man and have him clamber down from the window instead!

Cheers,

Mark

I'd leave it as Smoke Jumper, Producer's aren't the same as a bunch of pedantic writers

good work Mark, well done