Now this is a script I can comment on. I too am not only a fan of Godzilla, but when I heard that Legendary was doing a reboot, I also wrote a script of what I felt the new movie could be.
Well Adam. I read your original draft (right after I posted my version) and had to admit that I really liked the premise.
We were all disappointed with the Devlin/Emmerich debacle of 98 and want to see it done right this time. I know Darren was very critical in his first comments, and I understand where he is coming from. I too, felt intense pressure when writing my script. There are many things to consider in a reboot. The first being, how to keep the character true to the original, but making enough of a change to make it feel fresh and new. This is no easy task. There is only so much that can be done with a mutated dinosaur running amok.
And Godzilla is not exactly an easy thing to sell. Many people and critics just view it as pure camp. Yet the original Gojira was a classic piece that told a very serious story and most people do not know that.
I like how you brought back the serious and dark tone to Godzilla. That has been lacking for a long time in the line of films released. The last serious Godzilla film would have to be GMK and even that had a lot of faults.
The trick is to tell the basic story of how man tries to play god. Man creates monsters, and now man must pay the price for their sins.
So here is what I liked about your script.
1. The dark tone. Yes Godzilla is a threat. He will not run away and like a tornado or hurricane, it is a disaster that can not be stopped.
2. The homages to the original movie were fantastic. I love the tie in of the Martin family. And the sequence with the train reminds you of one of the most famous movie stills ever.
3. The characters. Your characters have feel and emotion. I could feel the tears welling up in the final scenes when Davids daughter was on her last breaths. This was the hardest part I found when writing my version. Because I wanted Godzilla to be the star of his movie, and all the other characters are secondary. This also leads to what I didn't like about the script.
It took too long to see the big guy in all his glory. It wasn't until page 44. That means that I'm sitting half way through the movie before I get to see what I paid to see. It took too long. Remember, this is Godzilla's movie. We want to see Godzilla.
The battle with Anguiras felt like an afterthought. It was too short and not enough build up. Though I was happy to see that another monster was brought in. After all, that's what makes a great Godzilla film is the battles with the other monsters.
And lastly. Though I loved the dark tone, I found it to be too dark. The descriptions of the gore were just too much for a Godzilla film. Honestly if this was filmed, it would be pushing an R rating. That would not work for a Godzilla film. It would alienate a lot of viewers. I also struggled with this. How do you show the true horror of being attacked by a giant monster, without making it so gory and terrifying that kids could not watch it. They are after all, the core audience.  I would say that the gore level needs to be toned down a bit.
Other than that. Great job.
Finally. Somebody that "gets it". And believe me, that is what Legendary is looking for. They are now on the fourth writer for this project, so obviously they feel very strongly about bringing the right blend of horror and action to this project. They are looking for a franchise, not a one hit wonder. And if the right script comes along, then they would have a great franchise on their hands.
So keep the faith my friend and keep honing this. It is great practice and you never know who may be interested.
I will be doing a rewrite on my version very shortly. I know mine is too long. (132 pages) and needs a lot of work. It too was the script that reignited my passion for telling a good story and I'm not giving up until I feel it's perfect. I even have 2 sequels planned and have started on the first one, but have put it on hold until I get the first one perfect.
Hopefully when I am in Las Vegas (where my story takes place) in March, I will be able to picture it all better and get it written to a higher level.
I wish you all the best. and thank you for treating my favorite character with respect.
Jon

Thank you both again, and thanks gman for such a lengthy review.

As I mentioned before, I recently finished a new draft with of a completely new script, and oddly enough, each of your negatives have (hopefully) been addressed. Godzilla now appears promptly on page 30 and the action really kicks in. I realize 30 minutes may seem like along time, but its a lot closer than 44 and is a great way to start the first half of act 2 (plot point 1). Structure was very important for me this time around, and so I wanted to try and follow it to the letter.

Yes, the addition of Anguirus was added into this script later on. In the original, there was no other monster. It's a shame that I apparently didn't blend him and his foreshadowing better in this script, but I like to think I nailed it now.

The gore is something I recieved the most heat over, and I keep hearing about it! (lol) It has been drastically toned down throughout. While I am sure that children will be flocking to see a new Godzilla film, they were not my target audience when I wrote the script. Even if these children would probably love the excessive violence, I wrote my story (knowing any studio or director would obviously change it) the way that I would tell a 'monster-attack-movie'. It would be dark. It would be horrifying. It would be incredibly gory.

Thank you again for the read, and I am very glad you enjoyed it. Good luck with your script as well. I would be happy to offer up some notes in my free time when it's completed. So feel free to PM me and let me know when it's done.