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Jani, body straining against the doors, realises that nothing is happening outside. He peels himself away from the knotted wood of the table and lays it gently down.
Jani Hey guys.... (Listens) I think they've gone.
Obviously no one in the bar pays attention to him.
Jani motions for one of the Ensign Industries guys to come over.
Jani Go out and check if they're still out there Ensign Bobby.
Ensign Bobby looks at him, incredulous. Jani places a reassuringly heroic hand on his shoulder.
Jani It's safe. Trust me?
Ensign Bobby nods, and cautiously heads outside. Jani watches from the doorway.
Suddenly there comes a horrific scream and the sounds of ravenous beasts tearing at what was Ensign Bobby. Jani is showered with gore, head to toe. He gingerly closes the door behind him.
No one else seems to have noticed the new blood-spattered development. Jani meanders over to the group, casual, whistling. He stops next to Floyd, the remanents of Ensign Bobby dripping rhytmically onto the floor.
Jani (To Floyd) So.........how are you?
"You can discover more about a person in an hour of play then in a year of conversation" - Plato
Suddenly, from the restroom, a man walks out. JACK DODGER ("Hunters", still being written) strolls into the person-infested bar full of scared, odd, or confused people. He wears a long coat, and is soaking wet.
DODGER: I... uh.... hear we have a stray feral dog out-
He looks around at the faces. Then he gets to Jani.
DODGER: Oh. Um. I see. Well, anyhow-
He brings a pump shotgun with a sight out from under his coat and puts it on the bar.
DODGER: Okay, fine, you guys don't have sewer access under the bathrooms. I can see by the time traveller- don't worry, kid, we picked you up on our Anomaly Splicer- and the various subdemons here that I don't need to try to play dumb. The thing, though, is that our teleportation spell is so new, that it just makes you thirsty. We got anything to drink? Where's the bartender? (looks over the bar) Oh. I'm assuming that was the demon. If not, eh. Don't worry, dudes, I work for people totally unlike the people I think you think I am. I'm only here for the werewolves. Can I get a drink? Like I said, the spell makes you thirsty. (reaches over, gets a bottle of something) Hm. Vodka.
DODGER: I could go for the Bruce Campbell quote, but I'd rather go for the saving your asses from the werewolves thing. (to JANI) It is werewolves, yeah? We weren't quite sure. (to FLOYD) See, the Hunters Guild got this brand spanking new technology from a coven a while back. We managed to get a Teleportation Spell inside a weapon. I got shot, I came here. We are now able to do house calls. No, but seriously, my team has been tracking Mr. Time Traveller and the pack of wolves for about a few months now. I'm Jack Dodger, Hunters Guild, pleased to meet you.
He picks up his shotgun.
DODGER: Well. It seems you guys all have enough blood in here, to add to the fact that the soldier is covered in it. It's probably driving them nuts. (to JANI) I asked if it was werewolves. Depending on the answer, I will devise a plan in my head and then we shall step outside, yes?
Enter BUBBLES DZINGBODE, a black man with a Huge afro and long white robes about a size too big for him, and a few buttons undone reveal a Malcolm X T-shirt underneath. He looks dehydrated
BUBBLES W-w-w-water...and food....now... b'fo i bust your head so hard, y-y-y-you won't know what hitcha.... n-n-n-n-name is bub-b-bles dzing...
He then falls unconscious. all stare at him in deep confusion.
DODGER: I am so goddamn confused. (cocks his shotgun) I am going out to shoot some damn werewolves. Hopefully, I won't die in this universe. (RE: off blank stares, sighs) I've been cursed to be a Universal Hunter. Upon my death in my universe, some cosmic morons thought it would be funny to reincarnate me as a monster hunter for each new universe's Guild of the Hunt for each new death. (RE: off blank stares) I hope to god the next universe isn't some 'let's-all-walk-into-the-bar' universe. (RE: off blank stares) Fine. Be that way. (walks outside) YOU CAN KILL ME NOW!
The bar stands on the verge of chaos. A man, JERRY WRIGHT, enters dressed in a lime green trenchcoat. He glances around. JERRY I guess I found where the " two whatever's walk into a bar" originated.
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