We are going to make a story. Each person says one line and the next person says another line. All making a long story. I'll start.



Meet Joe, your average banker with a very dark secret.

A nine to five worker, your typical portrait of working class Americana, he pulling two shifts for the price of one.

He's got it all, a wife and three beautiful young kids...

...and a briefcase that he never, ever opens.

I know I just added to the story but oh well...

What is inside? Girly magazines? A laptop? Will the secret be unvailed.

... and the mistress, known only as Camilla.

Camilla is the childrens baby sitter, she's ugly but Joe needs to feel loved...

One stormy night, while on his way home, his car gets a flat tire.

He parks the car on the side of the road, gets out, and is shocked at what he sees.

"My God," he thinks, "that is the ugliest hooker I have ever seen!"

Than the hooker smiles showing her teeth... Some are missing some are still there

She smirks at him and says, "Looking for a good time baby?"

He replies " Good God, no! I just have a flat tire."

The woman stares him in the eyes and mumbles the words he has been aching to hear, " Get ya freak on ahh"

"Come on," she pleads, "20 buck'll get you a blowjob," she moves closer, under the moonlight he can see her frail figure, "a quickie and I'm gone", she pulls back her grayed and thinning hair and advances further.

He suddenly hurls all over her, thick chucky pieces barf drips from her gray hair. She screams and runs off.

He watches her run away, screaming, while leaving a trail of throw up, "Fucking sluts" he says to his self "They can never leave a man alone."

"I'm getting Big Daddy, he'll fuck you up," she yells as she runs into the night.

As he waits around for a tow truck sudddenly a truck pulls up that says "Big Daddy's Wagon" Big Daddy gets out with a baseball bat.

Big Daddy begins to cross the road, but is suddenly struck by the tow truck.

His muscle torn body is thrown across the street, the bat he held fast in his hand clanks to the ground, a moment passes and no one says a thing.

A homeless man walks to the scene and says, "HOT DAMN!"

The homeless man is also struck by the tow truck as it backs up into position.

Uwe Boll is then seen driving down the road....


(this is your chance people)

"Uwe suck harder then a vietnamese prostitute", Joe shouts at him.  

Suddenly Andrew appears behind Joe and taps him on the shoulder... Joe screams...

"Oh, it's you, again, I told you, I don't have the money", He says a long breathe of air escapes out ot his lungs.

"Dammit!" Yells Andrew as he stomps off back into his bush.

Without warning Uwe Boll finally realises what was said to him and spins around in a screeching and quite illegal U-turn.

Then from the bushes, Andrew comes out in the middle of the road.

Uwe gets out of his car and squares up to the pair of them "Vat are you two doing out hier Alone in ze Dark? Ahahahahahahahaha ahahahahahahahah! Who sez ze Germans have no senz of humor? Ahahahahahahahahah!

Uwe peers over at Andrew, "Zoly Shit itz za zombie"

Andrew attacks Uwe and Joe starts doing the robot.

But then, Joe hears a familiar voice call his name from behind and whips around only to see...

Andy in all her glory!

Andy's stomach explodes and an alien baby creature comes out... xD

The alien baby creature says, "I fucked your cousin!" and flies back into Andy

Joe says "Weird."

Uwe falls to the ground and Andrew starts to do the robot with Andy. Joe smiles and crosses the street where he sees Alan Holman.

Joe stops and stares at Alan with a sceptical eye, wondering what the hell is going to happen next.

We now realize GHOSTWRITER made a mistake by saying he was staring at Andy when he was talking to Alan.

But Andy realizes that Joe was not actually looking at her, but sees a large airplane streaking out of the sky towards their location behind her.

The plane plummets out of control, coming closer and closer, its engines growing louder and louder until...

Alan reveals he is really Elasticman. He morphs into a large trampoline allowing the plane to bounce safely onto the head of Uwe Boll.

Huggybear falls out of a window nearby and says, "Oooh... Fireworks!"

Andy looks up at the poor lad and shakes her head with sympathy.

Andy packs her little pirate hat into a suitcase and gets the hell out of there -- destination U.S.A.  (Safe journey, babe!)

Memories flash before Huggybear's eyes as the pavement gets ready to smack Huggybear in the face; however, Huggybear's fall towards said pavement is interrupted when Elasticman stretches his arms towards Huggybear, and hugs Huggybear -- in a friendly manner -- while guiding Huggybear safely to the ground.

Now out of harm's way, Huggybear wraps his arms tightly around ElasticMan, who's body flexes and contorts like rubber under the tremendous strain. Then they part, and ElasticMan gives Huggy a gallant salute before using two lamp posts to catapult himself high into the air to the cheers of the airplane passangers, who gaze in awe as he disappears into the canyon of skyscrapers.    

Then the world blows up and they all end up on some unknown planet... alone