SR's idea for ten page tag: Carry On From ? Week Challenge 2010

Screenwriter Tag

Write one page, align everything to the left

Post it in this thread.  Then let us know who is next.  PM the next person.

If they don't want to play then tag someone else.  

ONE PAGE only and keep the conversation to a minimum.

Ryan is up first.

Sandra

Alright, you've been warned.  Here it is.
-------
FADE IN:

INT. EMBALMING ROOM - CASTERS FUNERAL HOME - NIGHT

A tremendously fat corpse lies on a gleaming metal embalming table.  The body is that of a male, mid-forties.  A gray sheet covers his lower half.

LARRY, 33, enters the room.  He takes one look at his next project and stops in his tracks.  He grimaces, runs a hand through his greasy, balding hair.

LARRY
Ahhhh...crap.

He wipes his hands on his black vinyl apron, approaches the body.

LARRY
Never fails.  Every Friday night.  Every god damn Friday night they wheel in a friggin' whale.

He stands over the body, slaps a hand on the huge, exposed belly.

LARRY
You never missed a meal in your life, huh, partner?

Larry looks at the collection of cutting instruments on a nearby rolling table, then to a couple of hoses connected to a suction machine.

LARRY
You're a three hour job, minimum.  So much for my Friday.

He pats the corpse's forehead.

LARRY
Alright, Shamu, let's get to suckin.'

ED (O.S.)
You always insult dead people like that?

Larry spins around to see ED, 33, standing in the doorway.  He wears an expensive suit.  He holds his hands behind his back.

LARRY
Who are you?

JWent is up next.

Ha. I would but I'm at the pub.  Watching from my phone. Good start thought. Yes, my girls already pitturbed with me for writing this message. Good luck. I think fat guy choked on a salami.

Ryan Try tagging Blonde.

Quoted from jwent6688 Ha. I would but I'm at the pub.  Watching from my phone. Good start thought. Yes, my girls already pitturbed with me for writing this message. Good luck. I think fat guy choked on a salami.

Gawdawful, but how's it that women do that to a man.

God bless you jwent, and give a le chaim to your girlfriend for me and tell her (from me) to treat you to the best tonight.  

Sandra

Okay.  Mr. Blonde, if you're out there.  You been tagged.

I'll see if anybody likes this.

___________________________________________________________________________

ED
Edward Carlito. Ed, for short.

LARRY
What are you...? I mean, did you know him?

ED
In a way, yeah. I killed him.

Larry looks at Ed, apprehensive.

LARRY
You killed him? Like, murdered him?

ED
(Nods)
Not murdered, per se. Let’s leave it at, I made him die.

LARRY
Ed, I’m not comfortable with this conversation.

ED
Why is that? You’re a pathologist. You see dead bodies every day.
(Smiles)
What’s the harm in seeing the man who is responsible?

LARRY
Not every body I receive was murdered, you know?

ED
I didn’t murder him. In fact, had he tried harder, he’d be alive and not on your fucking table.

LARRY
Look, I told you, I’m not comfortable with you here.

ED
Shame...

Ed pulls a syringe from his jacket.

ED (CONT'D)
Because, now, it’s your turn, Larry.

_________________________________________________________________________

Somebody else go next. Doesn't matter to me who. =)

EDIT: I'm kind of disappointed in me. I had to edit about half a page worth of stuff to make this fit. That's probably why it feels rushed. =( Sorry.

Quoted from Mr. Blonde I'll see if anybody likes this. ___________________________________________________________________________ ED Edward Carlito. Ed, for short. LARRY What are you...? I mean, did you know him? ED In a way, yeah. I killed him. Larry looks at Ed, apprehensive. LARRY You killed him? Like, murdered him? ED (Nods) Not murdered, per se. Let’s leave it at, I made him die. LARRY Ed, I’m not comfortable with this conversation. ED Why is that? You’re a pathologist. You see dead bodies every day. (Smiles) What’s the harm in seeing the man who is responsible? LARRY Not every body I receive was murdered, you know? ED I didn’t murder him. In fact, had he tried harder, he’d be alive and not on your fucking table. LARRY Look, I told you, I’m not comfortable with you here. ED Shame... Ed pulls a syringe from his jacket. ED (CONT'D) Because, now, it’s your turn, Larry. _________________________________________________________________________ And, I'm tagging JonnyBoy, now. =) EDIT: I'm kind of disappointed in me. I had to edit about half a page worth of stuff to make this fit. That's probably why it feels rushed. =( Sorry.

Man! Don't apologize!!!! Damn you're playing the game and I for one just read it and am intrigued!

Listen up everyone, you can ignore me because I'm not playing, but here's the deal:

From Mr. Blonde's dialogue, I was imagining that the pathologist, Larry, he was imagining talking to Ed. I was thinking that there might be a connection between them somehow.

Anyways, I thought it was really strong.

This here:

LARRY
You killed him? Like, murdered him?

ED
(Nods)
Not murdered, per se. Let’s leave it at, I made him die.

We can suppose his death in many ways. It's left very open.

Good job.

Sandra

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

An episode of CSI MIAMI plays on TV showing Ed approaching Larry with a syringe in hand.

ED (on TV)
Shame...because now it's your turn.

LARRY (on TV)
Are you insane?

ED (on TV)
Yes.

Ed stabs him in the eyeball.  Larry screams.

WALTER (40s) balding, thin-framed glasses, sits on the couch watching the show on TV.   He looks back.  

WALTER
Honey, I'm gonna run to the store.

WOMAN (O.S.)
Hurry back.

WALTER
(mutters)
Yeah right.

INT. CONVENIENCE STORE - NIGHT
Walter browses a magazine rack, sees a Playboy magazine.   He looks to the right, to the left, then reaches for it.

JUNKIE (O.S.)
Gimme the money, lady!

A JUNKIE points his gun at the Asian SALESCLERK.

SALESCLERK
No!  You go!  You go now!

Walter ducks down.

JUNKIE (O.S)
Lady, you got three seconds or I will
shoot you in the face!  

Walter sees a toy gun on a rack.

JUNKIE (O.S)
One!...two!...

Screenrider,

If you don't pick anyone to go next then the game will stop.

It's better to pick someone to go next even if you have to change it a couple of time.  

Tag, you're it, Mr. Cornetto  

In one fluid motion he spins and grabs the gun.   He points it at...

The mounted television set.  On screen the junkie shakes as...

JUNKIE
Three.

Below the screen, behind the counter, a frightened INDIAN MAN in an orange smock has his hands raised.

Walter cocks his head questioningly.  Then he looks behind him, no one is there.

INDIAN MAN
Please don't shoot me mister.

Walter looks down at the gun in his hand, then apologetically smiles.  

WALTER
I'm not...

Red-lights flash.  The INDIAN MAN ducks behind the counter.

Standing in the door is a COP with a real gun,  a big gun that's pointed at Walter.

COP
Freeze scumbag!    

Walter turns toward the cop with the toy gun still in his hand.

WALTER
It's a...

Dreamscale next - unless someone comes on and wants to do it instead - in which case just let everyone know.

And that's the only one for me - I have stuff I should be doing.

I think Dreamscale said he was going campng this weekend.

Ok then Ryan is up.

Not sure exactly what is going on in the story here, but I'll try.