In do time, good things come to those who wait

DUE TIME! DUE TIME!
Geesh your post are hard to read!
C'mon Wes' I know you can do better than that...are you just getting lazy?

I'm not sure what you mean but yeah that's also a factor. Though when haven't I been lazy?

Too add - In your action sequence in the beginning, is that your own style? I've never seen it used for action before, it actually makes it easier to read who is doing what at that exact moment

I'm glad it reads well, but I'm not sure it is "TECHNICALLY" correct. I'm thinking of changing it though just to save some lines and cut to 120 pages.

I think this kind of format works for pacing action and chases etc that might come a little later in scripts.

I'm not sure it's needed in the opening.

Well it is probably not a correct format for action sequences or whatever but I think it could be because it makes it so easy to read and understand what everyone is doing, if you read the screenplay for lord of The Rings FOTR with the scene where boromir dies it's not all that descriptive on the other characters but yours is to the next degree

I'll stop going on, I'll probably be able to finish the full script if you can wait soon because I should finally be getting my own personal computer and than I can read a lot more of these screenplays and write huge reviews

I need to come up with a short synopsis of the script for a contest application.

Little help?

Here is what I have (and I don't like it):

Jonathan Cole lives an unremarkable life in an unremarkable southern california suburb. When his girlfriend dumps him for Jesus he goes soul searching. He doesn't have to search very long or very far when a strange religious image appears at the shopping mall where he works. The whole town is thrown into a spiritual and consumer frenzy leaving Jonathan to sort it all out.

If you've read the script and have suggestions let me know.

Some others I am considering:

The story of the remarkable events that happens to an unremarkable California suburb when strange religious image appears in the local mall and residents must choose betwwen shopping or praying.

---

When strange religious miracles begin happening at southern california shopping mall The whole town is thrown into a spiritual and shopping frenzy.

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Just before Christmas , Jonathan is dumped by his evangelical girlfriend. he is left to wander aimlessly through his unquestioned life. When a strange vision appears at a shopping mall Jonathan begins to ask questions, but get's all the wrong answers

Here are some recent reviews of YOU ARE HERE:

"I read it and when I finished it was done"
- Paul Hewson, Dentists Weekly -

"This script has a lot of words and most of them English"
- Piper Pupe, Squirrel Lovers Monthly

"You Are Here won't cause you to change your life, but it will cause you to change your air freshener"
- Jack Jill, Calcutta Daily News -

"Has anyone seen my car keys?" - Miffy the Magician

"Anyone who loves perfectly placed page numbers will fall in love with this script" - Ms. Word, Spellcheckers Forum

"A story with characters who are involved in a story that has characters"
- Joe Joe, Renduncy press.

"I like pie" - Oprah Winfrey

"I have read a lot of scripts and this was one of them" - Sven Gali, High Colonic News.

Check it out for yourselves  

YOU ARE HERE
http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/urhere-4-16.pdf

Are those what you call bad reviews? I'm sorry I didn't get them.

Is your script a movie or something cuz how'd you get all those reviews, especially the Oprah Winfrey one.

Oh, Jayson my young friend how you make me yearn for my lost youth.

Just having some fun.