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The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.
NOTE: these screenplays are NOT in the public domain and MAY NOT be used or reproduced for any purpose (including eductional purposes) without the expressedwrittenpermission of the author.
Wild East by Dugan McShain (Duganinja) - Comedy - A young professional explores his family roots in rodeo country while trying to avoid the lackluster life that awaits him in a cubicle. 112 pages - pdf, format
--"His name is Darryl WALKER and he is not a happy camper." -- You have already introduced Darryl Walker. No need to do it again.
--"He turns on the radio expecting music." -- How do you know he's expecting music? You want to show, not tell.
-- You should never have your character say something and then say something again on a different line. Ex:
DARRYL Hello?
DARRYL No...Honey... I can't believe it. Hon... So what?
DARRYL
DARRYL (weakly) Oh yeah for how much?
DARRYL Forget it I'll write the check.
DARRYL For what?
DARRYL I gotta go. Can I call you later?
-- Double spacing doesn't indicate a pause where the other person talks on the other end of the phone. This should be:
Hello?...No...Honey... I can't believe it. Hon...So what?...Oh yeah for how much?...Forget it, I'll write the check...For what?...I gotta go. Can I call you later?
--3 periods does the trick.
--So far, diolauge is good. Just Give this a quick touch up.