SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
Welcome, Guest.
It is November 24th, 2020, 9:47am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion forum, please send me a message. There is no online registration. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship

Produced Script Database (Updated!)
Yes, I am running script reviews, again...

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production
Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the and domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Comedy Scripts  ›  Campaign Trail Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Campaign Trail  (currently 961 views)
Posted: September 30th, 2016, 1:28am Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

Posts Per Day
Campaign Trail by Jeremiah E. Ford - Comedy, Drama - Two employees at a local sandwich restaurant are looking for more in life when they decide to run in the next presidential campaign. 142 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Visit for what is new on the site.

SimplyScripts Masks can be purchased at:
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Site Private Message
Posted: September 30th, 2016, 6:52am Report to Moderator

Posts Per Day
    The format is wrong. Even if you have something good in there nobody will read it if it's not written right.  Check out some script formatting pages that are all over the internet and read scripts from movies you like. It will help you.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 3
Posted: September 30th, 2016, 7:15am Report to Moderator
Guest User

This has obviously been written in Word or something, formatting is a total mess.

Unfortunately the rest isn't any good either.

"Kevin and Marty wave while saying:"
"Marty says to Kevin:"
"Shaquana says to Kevin and Marty while walking away:"

That's not how you describe action.

Other than that, the dialogue is extremely on-the-nose. Plus you shouldn't predetermine how the dialogue should be spoken, you're doing this almost every time. This is up to the director/actor...

The writer is most certainly new to screenwriting. The best advice is to read other scripts and learn how to properly format a screenplay. Google is all you need.

Good luck.

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
BenL  -  September 30th, 2016, 10:09am
e-mail Reply: 2 - 3
Posted: September 30th, 2016, 10:05am Report to Moderator

North Carolina
Posts Per Day
This might be a pisser. The dialogue is so relentlessly OTN that it starts to be very funny. I read 20 pages just for the dialogue.

Other evidence:
1. Wrong font.
2. 142 pages.
3. Bad format.
4. Etc.

Private Message Reply: 3 - 3
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Comedy Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on

Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006