Campaign Trail 2024 by Jeremiah E. Ford - Comedy, Drama - A couple of employees at a local sandwich store who are fed up with life decide to run for president and vice president of the United States. 177 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

    The format is wrong. Even if you have something good in there nobody will read it if it's not written right.  Check out some script formatting pages that are all over the internet and read scripts from movies you like. It will help you.

This has obviously been written in Word or something, formatting is a total mess.

Unfortunately the rest isn't any good either.

"Kevin and Marty wave while saying:"
"Marty says to Kevin:"
"Shaquana says to Kevin and Marty while walking away:"

That's not how you describe action.

Other than that, the dialogue is extremely on-the-nose. Plus you shouldn't predetermine how the dialogue should be spoken, you're doing this almost every time. This is up to the director/actor...

The writer is most certainly new to screenwriting. The best advice is to read other scripts and learn how to properly format a screenplay. Google is all you need.

Good luck.

This might be a pisser. The dialogue is so relentlessly OTN that it starts to be very funny. I read 20 pages just for the dialogue.

Other evidence:
1. Wrong font.
2. 142 pages.
3. Bad format.
4. Etc.

I might read this based on the comments above. It sounds like fun. However, 177 pages is a lot. That's a 3-hour film and for me, with your format issues, about a 4+ hour read.

They are right about using MS Word. While it's something that you can use, it's brutal. I tried it before I purchased a screenplay writing package. Life is much easier with screenplay writing software.  There are many packages available at different prices. There are a few free packages available if you want to try things out first. They are all good packages. Also, some packages have a free demo version so you can try it out before you take the plunge and spend money. If you want to stay with a free package, several people who post regularly here use it.

There are many benefits to using software that focuses on screenplay production. The font and margins are set for you. You pick CHARACTER from a menu and the cursor goes right to where it needs to be. Select DIALOG and it starts a dialog paragraph. Same thing for ACTION, SCENE HEADINGS and PARENTHETICALS. It's all set for you.

Using the proper software, even the free software, will eliminate many of the comments above.

Most packages will work on your Macintosh. Also, you can copy and paste from MS Word or a PDF and re-format it into the proper format. I did that and while it took a few hours, it was faster than writing it over. Also, the page count dropped about 10%. It's easy to learn and with the software managing the margins and line spacing, every script I wrote after that came out much faster.

Do a little research online. Also, there's a post on the SimplyScripts forum with advice so check that out as well. Find something and take the plunge.

Think about it.

Also, welcome aboard.