I liked this script, though I think it deserves a rewrite. The OWC rushed it.
My only problem with it is that the sidhe spoke with a modern day voice. This kept taking me out of the illusion that Mickey was talking with a supernatural entity. Maybe this was your way of saying that she didn't exist and it was all in Mickey's head. I don't know, but it didn't work for me.
Again, rewrite it. Add to it. It's a good story.