Quoted from Dreamscale Sounds good bud.  Again, I didn't mean to be so harsh...I just started reviewing and that's what kept coming up in my mind.  Glad you take it constructively. Up the irons, mate! (an old Maidenism)

No problem, dude. It's good to have someone pick your work to pieces every once and a while. You can't very well improve a script with a bunch of praise (not that it isn't appreciated ).

Quoted from Mr.Ripley Hey James, I didn't browse through the other reviews. So I'm prob going to repeat alot what other reviewers mentioned, but it just serves to show that these are the things to fix. Also,, I saw a post I made earlier when I was a newbie on this site. I apologize for that and heres the review. positive: It read quick. You had some good scenes such as the fighting scenes between the subject and Rory, Cory, Weir, Zeb, Zeke, etc. Also the opening when the Subject escapes. Negative: I think you can add a bit of backstory towards how the subject was created. You do provide a flashback at the end, but what about moving it to the beginning and developing so that it can lead to the subject escaping. Character wise, it was decent. I told apart the three characters. This is the tough part. I know since I'm experiencing it. lol. But there's not much development on Rory or Phil except for Cody so maybe you should focus more Cody rather than the other two. Other things I noted: There should be more guards at this facility. Even though it's private, the fact that they handle test subjects requires a lot of guards. But I did like Zeb and Zeke. They reminded me of Rory and Cory.   The scene with Phil, Rory, and Cory driving. Around pg. 8 I think you should have Cory and Rory say the curse to Phil. It shows development on Cory. On the end of page 9, Weir's dialgoue to Zeb or Zeke gives too much away. You should hold off a bit. When the Subject arrives at the motel, I think Mimi should be asking more questions as the driver did. And if the subject wanted to avoid those questions why not hand her a lump of money or start the killing there.   For Cory to ignore pus and blood is far fetched. I don't know how sleepy one can be to not spot it. When trapped in the basement, if Rory had a cellphone, why not take it out beforehand or make it look like he remembered there and now. If Wier can threaten Zeke with the pistol, why can't he shoot Phil himself? When Weir and Zeb go down to the basement, won't Weir want them as bait to kill the subject? I saw that you did this later but why not then when they are running from the Subject. In regards to when Mimi makes that "your trying to act like God", when Weir goes to Mimi, would weir not use mimi as hostage to get the shotgun back at that exact moment? Not later. Hope this helps, Gabe

Thanks for taking another look at this, Gabe. Some good points here. I'll be sure to incorporate them into the rewrite.

Let me get this off my chest:  I was appalled by the tone of Dreamscale’s review. He punctuated valid points with “harsh” commentary and reactions, over and over.  
So he didn’t like your script, didn’t get it, didn't find it plausible.  No need to rub your face in it.
After reading his review, I felt demoralized.  
And  ‘Lycanthrope’ isn’t even my script.    

How unsettling is that?

James, my review of 'Lycanthrope' will be up before the day's end.

Abe, as I said originally, these were just my thoughts and opinions.  However harsh they may have seemed, I feel very strongly that everything I said was valid and was intended as contructive criticism.  Far too often, reviewers in here give praise over and over again, when at times, it's not warranted.  I don't feel this helps a writer.

James' work showed many aspects of strong, talented writing, and I know that he knows that.  I honestly believe that many times, the worst reviews you get, can actually turn out to be the best reviews you get, in that, sometimes we need to hear about what doesn't work and why.

If you read he majority of my reviews, you'll find that I give praise when I feel praise is due.  If I'm dealing with a writer who is not very strong or experienced, I try to tone down my negativeity and try to help the writer along.  When dealing with a writer who definitely has talent and knows what they are doing, I'm not going to sugarcoat anything...especially when it involves story and believability.

You should note in my review that just about all the criticism revolved around plot and things that just didn't make sense.  I was merely trying to point these things out to the auther.  In no way, shape, or form was I trying to shoot him down and tell him that his work  was a total piece of garbage, because it definitely wasn't, and I know that he knows that.

The thing with this work was that so many other reviewers were stacking on the praise in situations that shouldn't have been praised.   I was just trying to make him aware of what didn't work and why.

Hope you understand,a dn sorry to appal you...I really dislike appalling anyone, and I mean that.

I've read several horror scripts by many different writers and they all have their own style of writing. You keep descriptions very simplistic. I tend to be overly descriptive sometimes. So short descriptions work well with you.

Dialogue is an attention getter for me. There were a couple of scenes where the dialogue was strong but in other scenes it was a bit hokey.

The scene where the character of Phil (I think that's his name) decides to play hero and fight the creature with his bullet studded belt and brass knuckles was completely unbelievible to me. I know that horror stories aren't meant to be believable in any "true" fashion, but the entire fight scene with Phil I think was a waste. I would reconsider writing that sequence. Of course, this is just my opinion.

The script had a great flow. There was always something going on. The fact that it took place in a rural bed and breakfast made it unique; original. That's something that's hard to do when writing horror.

All in all, it was a fast, enjoyable read.

I do want to pount out that during the scene when the character of Mimi was on the phone to the 911 Operator, she said that the beast had killed "two" people. At that point it had only killed the Yuppie. I don't know, I might have missed something. I will probably have to read it again, just to make sure my comments aren't off base.

It wasn't a bad script!

Jerry

I made a comment above about the sequence where Phil was fighting the creature where I stated that "I would reconsider writing that sequence." It sounds as if I'm saying to you that I'd like for you to allow me to write that sequence for you. That isn't what I meant.
I meant YOU might want to reconsider REWRITING it! It's past 1 AM here in Tennessee and I'm a bit slap happy. I felt I should clear that up.

Jerry

Quoted from Abe from LA Let me get this off my chest:  I was appalled by the tone of Dreamscale’s review. He punctuated valid points with “harsh” commentary and reactions, over and over.   So he didn’t like your script, didn’t get it, didn't find it plausible.  No need to rub your face in it. After reading his review, I felt demoralized.   And  ‘Lycanthrope’ isn’t even my script.     How unsettling is that? James, my review of 'Lycanthrope' will be up before the day's end.

Quoted from Dreamscale Abe, as I said originally, these were just my thoughts and opinions.  However harsh they may have seemed, I feel very strongly that everything I said was valid and was intended as contructive criticism.  Far too often, reviewers in here give praise over and over again, when at times, it's not warranted.  I don't feel this helps a writer. James' work showed many aspects of strong, talented writing, and I know that he knows that.  I honestly believe that many times, the worst reviews you get, can actually turn out to be the best reviews you get, in that, sometimes we need to hear about what doesn't work and why. If you read he majority of my reviews, you'll find that I give praise when I feel praise is due.  If I'm dealing with a writer who is not very strong or experienced, I try to tone down my negativeity and try to help the writer along.  When dealing with a writer who definitely has talent and knows what they are doing, I'm not going to sugarcoat anything...especially when it involves story and believability. You should note in my review that just about all the criticism revolved around plot and things that just didn't make sense.  I was merely trying to point these things out to the auther.  In no way, shape, or form was I trying to shoot him down and tell him that his work  was a total piece of garbage, because it definitely wasn't, and I know that he knows that. The thing with this work was that so many other reviewers were stacking on the praise in situations that shouldn't have been praised.   I was just trying to make him aware of what didn't work and why. Hope you understand,a dn sorry to appal you...I really dislike appalling anyone, and I mean that.

Honestly, I can take any harsh review, no matter how scathing, so long as everything said is backed up. Otherwise, it's just a waste of one's time, both mine and the reviewer's. Dreamscale backed up everything he said in his review so I see it as welcome. No need to worry about harshness. Besides, I don't have to agree with everything every reviewer says about my scripts.

Quoted from screenplay_novice I've read several horror scripts by many different writers and they all have their own style of writing. You keep descriptions very simplistic. I tend to be overly descriptive sometimes. So short descriptions work well with you. Dialogue is an attention getter for me. There were a couple of scenes where the dialogue was strong but in other scenes it was a bit hokey. The scene where the character of Phil (I think that's his name) decides to play hero and fight the creature with his bullet studded belt and brass knuckles was completely unbelievible to me. I know that horror stories aren't meant to be believable in any "true" fashion, but the entire fight scene with Phil I think was a waste. I would reconsider writing that sequence. Of course, this is just my opinion. The script had a great flow. There was always something going on. The fact that it took place in a rural bed and breakfast made it unique; original. That's something that's hard to do when writing horror. All in all, it was a fast, enjoyable read. I do want to pount out that during the scene when the character of Mimi was on the phone to the 911 Operator, she said that the beast had killed "two" people. At that point it had only killed the Yuppie. I don't know, I might have missed something. I will probably have to read it again, just to make sure my comments aren't off base. It wasn't a bad script! Jerry

Thanks for the read, Jerry.

I get a lot of comments about overwriting on everything I write. I try to keep things cut and dry for the most part but I do take my liberties. I feel it brings a little more spice to writing.

The scene with Phil has also been really hit and miss amongst readers. At this point, I feel it's a bit of a stretch but I think there's a little more leeway in terms of believability when it comes to horror-comedy. People can do things they wouldn't normally do in a more straightforward horror movie. Personally, it's one of my favorite scenes in the script and I've actually come to like it even more for being so polarizing amongst readers. "Love it or hate it" scenes are always stronger than those that hit the middle ground.

A very good point about Mimi telling the cops the Subject killed two people. It does seem strange, doesn't it? However I think it makes sense for her to say that given that she doesn't know it was the Subject who checked into the B&B. She thinks it was just another guest who got killed.

Thanks again.

I have to apologize to Dreamscale.  After reading your script, James, everything he said, you deserve.   Ha ha, not… quite.
I mean, what’s not to Like-canthrope?
A werewolf  dining on  metal heads at a Bed & Breakfast?  That’s worth 5 Pentagrams in my AAA book.

--Sorry for the delay, but I got bombarded with Work over the weekend. Finally getting a reprieve. --

James, as a fellow writer, this is what I say about Lycanthrope:
Cool start, however yo story got mucho hairy issues. It’s like raw meat.  Fix what’s flawed and it could be pretty good.

LIKES:  Wonderful spirit.  The B-Movie quality appealed to me from the get-go.  Your Dr. Weir is right out of the Michael Gough school of  demented scientists.  You’re on the right track.
Fast beginning, it read like a bullet.  Hooked from scene one.
The campy quality was enjoyable, for the most part.   Atmosphere throughout is pretty good and I give you props for the kitchen battle between Phil and the Subject. Not bad.

DISLIKES: Formulaic and with nothing to add to the genre.
• Needs more twists and turns.   • Some scenes kinda dragged.  • Fight scenes seemed overwrought with description.  And not much inventiveness in the  choice of weapons and the fight setups.
• Over-writing in several areas, particularly relating to the fights.
• Too much dialogue at times and definitely too much  exposition.
• Characters are not especially likeable or unique, nor interesting.  They were also underdeveloped and occasionally seemed interchangeable.
• You are not creating enough opportunities to push the story forward and not exploiting  opportunities  that already exist.
• Explore and understand each character’s motivation, especially your main character.
What software do you use?  I noted on an occasion or two, in which the dialogue starts on one page and finishes on the following page.

Now if I were a Director/Producer (sorry, I’m neither), this is what I say about Lycanthrope:
If I wanted to make a low-bud, grass-roots horror film, I would roll the dice on your script.  It has a simple story, minimal sets, special effects that can be done old school and there is potential for lots of suspense and grue.
My tagline would be, “The Night the Experiment Went Wrong.”

This review will be from the perspective of a Director/Producer.  So bear with me if it reads like I’m saying “do this, do that.”

As noted, I liked your beginning.  But can you give it more neck snap?  You write:

Quoted Text                                                     GUARD                                         A couple of us kicked his ass something                                         good this morning. He’s not going to be                                         putting up a fight any time soon.

What if you open with  2 guards on their way to the a** beating?   Or maybe these guards are on their way to “Exploit” the Subject.  And as the guards walk to the Subject’s room, they can talk shop.    Maybe talk of selling the story of the lycanthrope/experiment-gone-hairy to TV. “Destination Truth” perhaps? I think this series delves  into teratology with a bent for myth and legend.

Remember, James, this is 2008. Utilize what is available today.  In the old days, exploitation of  Monstrosities centered on carnival sideshows. Today, it’s Reality TV.  The guards are mere opportunist$.

I mean what is Doc Weir going to do, have 2 imbecile security guys arrested for his illegal activity?
I’d also make your first fight scene more esoteric.  Behind closed doors. Mysterious. Imagine  if you will, [a low shot of ] the Subject exiting his room, leaving us with a glimpse of the bloody aftermath.   Your ode to Miike.
---  Are there other Subjects in the facility?  If so, give us a snippet of their existence (visual or audible).  This could foreshadow  what’s to come later in the script.

I wondered why the Subject doesn’t steal car keys and a car? Why doesn’t he just escape?  And where is this creature going? He seems to know what he’s doing, so why escape to the Bed and Breakfast?  Is it  Be Kind toWerewolf Day at Mimi’s B&B.
By the way, I would just have the Subject take apart the driver on the road.   Limb by limb.  You already teased us on page one, you might as well give us a really good kill before the Subject settles in for the night at the B&B.

The introduction of  Rory, Cody and Phil had me puking popcorn husks. Sorry, James, but these characters fall into the blasé category.  I have a stigma against these “types”  [flat, mindless teens/young adults] which makes it difficult to win me over. Yeah, my bad.  Others might feel the same.
With that said,  I do understand your desire to keep them and that they are “important” to this story.  So, let’s get these characters fixed.

Rory, Cody, Phil and others come off as garden-variety script people.  Archetypes.  They have characteristics (they like music, they like to swear, one’s a bully, one’s weak), but no soul or personality. Look at your intro on page 6.  I see hair length and clothes. And that Phil is Hispanic and Cody is 14. Otherwise, it’s mostly METAL. Their conversation is Metal.  Attitude is Metal.  Aspirations (start a band) are Metal. I’m not seeing body types.
To be honest, I keep getting Rory and Cody mixed up.  Something about the names…can’t Rory be Don or Bert or Mr. Z?
Restrict the excessive  F-bombs to Phil.

You write two instances in which Cody turns to big brother for rescue.   Gawd, this kid is wimpy.  I know you are trying to show his flaw/weakness, but this doesn’t work for me.  It felt forced.  And I was put off by Cody’s wimpiness.
What is Cody’s fear anyway?  To lose his brother’s love.  To be rejected??  To be left behind???  Find a better way to reveal his weakness.

**  Very Important. Focus more on Cody. His story, his POV, his fears.  This kid doesn’t just go from wimp to hero in 90 pages.  His desire to conquer his fear or whatever starts before this road trip.   Remember the Michael  Baldwin character in “Phantasm”?  Corey Haim in “Silver Bullet”?    

Maybe you can give Cody a grander entrance.  Maybe he’s a stowaway on this trip.  His way of getting Rory’s attention.  That kind of spunk doesn’t take away from his having fears, weaknesses, etc.  It shows his desire to win Rory’s respect.

What do you think of making the B&B stay one of necessity?  Create a situation in which they end up there.   This will establish a sense of dread as characters,  not by choice,  wind up in a bad place.
Like Janet Leigh in Psycho.  The night, the rain, the fatigue, all cause her to pull into the next neon sign, the Bates Motel.  Her undoing.  Wrong place, wrong time.

On P 9, you have Weir talking a lot. This is an example of exposition overload.  In keeping with the campy spirit, you could have Zeke and Zeb join in the conversation, trading  information back and forth -- much to Weir’s dismay.  He didn’t even know his incompetent guards knew anything about the scientific process.

P 10   Dreamscale pointed this out.  Are Weir and the ZZ Twins in a car?  On foot?

P 10-11   Don’t go back to more Metal talk.  This scene does Zero for character development and Zero in moving the story forward.

P 12    Phil taking a phone call in Spanish.  Bingo – a chance to establish some character.
Sprinkle some real Spanish in his dialogue throughout the story.  Can you include something of his culture to plot?  Otherwise, what’s the point of Phil being Hispanic ?

When the guys get to the B&B, this might be an opp for Rory to show some charm.  Can he talk Mimi into giving them a price break?  Something  the guys can afford? $150, too high.  Can he get her down to say $100?  $50?  If he can pull it off, then we see him in action.  Know that he’s a charmer.  A ladies man?

James, help Rory out by developing  Mimi’s character.  For one character to be charming, the other character has to be charmed.  Right?  ABC – always be creating.  Rory and Mimi need to connect.
How about a Music Connection?
We know that the guys are on their way to New York for a metal concert.
We know that Meems is 50-something.  She likes music  (Grace Slick, not June Carter).  She was a teenager once upon a time.  Probably in the late ‘60s and early ‘70s.
Now what took place in NY around ’69?  A music event that Mimi might have attended?  Or wish she had attended.

The poker game isn't necessary.  Didn’t anybody bring a guitar or something?  A harmonica?  A kazoo?  
Okay, let’s say you keep poker in the story mix.  It could work, if you set it up correctly.
Example:   Rory and Phil go to the fridge for a late-night snack.  They pass some guys  playing poker.  Yuppie calls out, “You guys play poker?”  “We need more bodies. Come on, we’ll keep the stakes low for you pussies. What’s the matter, no takers.  Cat got your balls?”

Use the poker game to set up the coming scenes --- the Yuppie is an a**hole.  Phil  is p**sed, his manhood challenged.  He’ll be in a foul mood the rest of the night.  Rory keeps his cool and calms Phil down.  He’s the thinker.

I don’t know why the Subject has to check into a B&B.  He just stole clothes, assaulted or killed a bunch of people, so maybe he could just crawl into a room through a window.

Speaking of werewolf at the B& B, do you have a valid reason? Maybe he’s coming home.  Maybe he’s coming back to someone.
You said that you don’t want the Subject to be a sympathetic character. Do you really think you can avoid this?  Frayed Knot, said  the hangman to the noose.  Take a look on P 26:

Quoted from script The Subject removes the sanitary mask from its face and cries out in shock at its own reflection. The Subject’s nose and mouth are horribly deformed…The Subject moans in agony as two more teeth falls out.

That, my friend, is a sympathetic character.  You’ve created pathos.  That’s good.  A lot of movie monsters are tragic figures:  the Frankenstein Monster, the Wolfman, King Kong, Goldblum’s Fly.

The bloody note: Bring Me Meat.  Hmm?  Pretty campy if you ask me.  However, I’d lose that part.
I can buy Cody’s reaction (almost) if he want to help?  Does he have his own physical problems and so, identifies with  Subject’s affliction?  Does somebody here suffer from asthma or psoriasis?

When Cody goes to the kitchen and Mimi is sitting there reading, it’s another opp to reveal character/push forward the story.  Maybe Meems is drinking.   That would tell us more about her. Reading a book seems a bit limiting.  Unless she’s reading King or Poe.

Dialogue should have some conflict. An edginess.   Avoid repeating information the audience knows.  You tell us:

Quoted from script                                                                                     CODY                                             Rory’s my big brother.                                             Phil’s his best friend.                                                      MIMI                                             I see.                                                      CODY                                             But Rory’s not just my                                             brother. He’s my best                                             friend too. He’s always                                             nice to me and takes me                                             everywhere he goes and                                             always sticks up for me                                             when people are ragging                                             on me.

Yada yada.  We know this.
What does Mimi know that will help this story?
Mimi tells us that she likes the night, the quiet.  Why?  So she can hide?  Maybe from the world?  From somebody dangerous?   Maybe she seems off-kilter.     Sample dialogue:

MIMI:  Started this Bed and Breakfast last year, after my husband left. SOB used to beat the dickens outta me.    
           You know what his famous last words were? “I’ll be back… to kill you.”
CODY: What’d  they do, lock him up?
MIMI: They would have. But the police think I killed him.
CODY (off her look): Why would they think that?
MIMI:  Cuz they never found his body.

Leave us feeling creeped out.

Why doesn’t Cody tell Mimi about the sick guy in Room X?
When all the talk is done, please send Cody upstairs with some Meat.  You write:

Cody proceeds toward the end of the hallway. He does not notice the bloody note left on the floor.

Dude, he already saw the note. Top of 33, burgundy room, doesn’t work for me.  The guy should already have turned into a wolf.  Maybe we see this morphing at the same time Cody is trying to communicate with him.  More tension if we know that only a bedroom door separates a werewolf and a kid.

In the Yuppie massacre scene, maybe you can show us how the Subject knows exactly where in the room the Subject stands.  I think the werewolf has a keen sense of hearing.   Or smell.  Establishing   this sense at this point can be used again later in the story.
And hey, wouldn’t crashing through a wall to kill Yuppie be kind of noisy?  

Good scene with Phil discovering the blood and goo on the floor.  Not so good that Cody missed this earlier.  Wouldn’t  Cody’s feet be soaked with blood, too, or was he wearing shoes?
I don’t like the way Phil goes back to the bedroom and hassles Cody.  “Jeffrey Dahmer’s”  loose.  Phil should be waking Rory up, too.  

P 40 – Monster on the Loose.   Everybody runs to the basement.  This is another scene where Character Profiles  will serve you well.  

The reason it’s hard for me to believe Phil would go up and fight the werewolf  later is because his character wasn’t set up property at this point.  You write:

Quoted from Script                                                   PHIL                                That’s a f***ing werewolf upstairs.                                I don’t give a f**k if he’s got a gun.                                He’ll be lunch before he can get his                                ass through the f**ing door.                                                   CODY                                A werewolf!                                                   RORY                                Look. It’s worth a shot. In fact, it’s t                                he only shot we’ve got right now.                                               (to Phil)                                Who said anything about werewolves?                                                   PHIL                                Dude. Did you see that thing?

This doesn't sound like a guy about to go upstairs and fight a werewolf. Can you bring Phil’s Hispanic heritage into this scene?  Maybe growing up in Mexico, he heard legends of werewolf attacks.  Maybe his uncle claims to have killed the werewolf.  
Or, how about Phil having a tattoo of a cape and a sword on his arm.  To honor his grandfather , the greatest matador of his day. A man who feared no bull.  That kind of macho legend is what Phil fantasizes about.  He wants to be adored in the same iconic, heroic way.
Since you introduced this Hispanic angle, give us some payoffs.
Another way to go is to create Phil’s background  in the military (probably not), or as a jock, a bodybuilder, an MMA guy, an ex-gang banger.  Maybe he’s a fuel-injected, steroid machine.  Weaned on Smoky Mountain Wrestling and smash-mouth football. Some  of these guys really think they are invincible.  
Or maybe he’s pissed.  People in a rage, do some stupid s**t things.  
Still, I did enjoy Phil and the Subject going to war on each other.
Reminded me of the kitchen fight between Spoon and the wolfman in Dog Soldiers.  Remember that scene? Said Spoon to the Werewolf:
       “Come and have a go, if you think you’re hard enough.”
I’ve alluded to this, but can the Subject be coming home?  Maybe he’s Mimi’s husband or son.  There should be a connection.

**Important.  Separate your characters.    Split ‘em up.   Think of movies in which people get separated, such as Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, It! The Terror From Beyond Space, Alien.
Maybe Cody flees with the group, safe in the basement and maybe he doesn’t.  What if  the monster got between him and the others when they scrambled to safety.   Cody went the other way.  Now he’s alone.
But now he can also be a real hero.
He could communicate with the basement folks via a cell phone or text messaging. Bad idea?  Fine.

Once everybody is safe and sound in the basement and old Ernie can’t save the day and Phil gets mauled in the kitchen,  create another  challenge.
Maybe there’s a tunnel  or a duct in the basement that leads to another part of the house.  And it is only large enough for a 14-year-old kid to crawl through.
This might be how Cody gets help or can get to a weapon in the house.  But it also leaves him vulnerable and will test his mettle.
As for the 9-1-1 calls, maybe Mimi has a history of calling 911 with false reports or makes disturbing calls when she is stinkin’ drunk.  So they don’t take her serious.  Again, if you know her character, you will know why the police don’t respond.

When Dr. Weir and ZZ Twins come along (my God, man, what took them?), here is the twist your story needs.
Weir does not want to kill the beast.  He’s out to control it.  Crazy scientists who play God, believe they are God.  Maybe Weir wants to control the Subject to kill all of the witnesses.  Why not see if the control-implant  works?
And then, of course,  Doc finds that the Subject can’t be controlled.

As written, the scene with the good doctor sending victims upstairs to “kill” the monster doesn’t jive.  It’s repetitious.
Better to have the Doc send all the victims up at one time, using them as bait.  He waits in the wings to shoot the beast, if you insist.

Once Cody gets out of the basement, it opens up a bunch of possibilities.  
• He can set a booby trap for the Subject.
• He can locate a weapon in the house.
• He could run to Weir’s lab for a formula, serum, weapon, etc.

If Cody goes to Weir’s lab, he might errantly push  a wrong button.  Open a door housing… gasp…  more Subjects.

You won’t agree with everything I’ve thrown at you.  In summary, the key things to explore:  Cody’s POV.  The Subject coming home to the B&B (Mimi’s husband?).  Create more innovative fight scenes with the Subject.  Find a way to separate Cody from the group, so he can do something heroic.  Dr. Weir sees Subject’s escape as a test.  Can he control the monster?

I like the premise, however familiar it is.  Fun.  Seems like the stuff I grew up with (movies, not werewolves). Good luck, James and remember to ABC.

Thanks for the read, Abe. Sorry for the delayed response.

You've given me a lot to work with, which I appreciate, and made a lot of good points. So much, in fact, it'd be difficult to respond to all of it. So generally speaking, I'd agree that my biggest issues are overwriting, exposition, and repeated information. I'm already in the process of working on these things. I've edited down the B&B arrival scene and the scene with Cody and Mimi, among other things, as well as address several nitpicks and areas that are unrealistic.

There's a few places you've found issues with that others have already had a go at: the BRING ME MEAT note, Phil's fight scene, etc. These things, for the most part, will remain unchanged, as they get mixed reactions from everyone. When these things happen, I generally try to stick to my gut. I like the fight scene and as for Cody ignoring/forgetting about the note, I really think he would. It's in his character.

For once, I think I'm coming close to completing this script for good (or at least reaching the point where it's good enough to abandon). Most of the comments I've received as of late are generally a matter of differences in opinion, on the parts of the other readers and occasionally myself. Every movie's going to have those and they're never going to go away. Nevertheless, I think I can churn out one or two more drafts before I finally retire this thing for good (or perhaps the next couple years again).

Thanks again for the read.

OK, James.  I like the potential here.  I'm a sucker for werewolves and have a soft spot in the head for Mad Scientists.  Maybe this can be in the vein of "Reanimator" or "Phantasm."
One more thing, you might give Cody a special talent that he could use against the werewolf.  Maybe he's mad metal guitarist.  Even if only to distract the creature so Rory can shut the monster down.
Good luck and I hope to see "Lyc" on the shelves.

Oh yeah, about 7 years ago I was talking to this creative guy for some small production company and he said that some writer sent him a script called "Lycanthrope."  His company was set to purchase the script, but the writer disappeared.  As far as I know, they never heard back from the writer nor were they able to find him.  Weird.

Hey James,

I liked how you gave us a different take on the werewolf story (single transformation through genetic experiment).  I also thought the use of heavy metal kids as the heroes was refreshing.  I didn’t see any major issues with the structure and the pacing felt right to me. Except for a few typos, I didn’t find anything majorly wrong with the formatting or dialogue.  And I thought your gore was done well.

What I think you can improve:

At times the actions felt a bit dry and at times passive to read.  Avoid using ‘is’ and try varying your sentence structure a bit more in order to give the actions more movement and rhythm.

Anonymous names – In the beginning the Assistant, the Guard, and the Subject really had me feeling detached from the story.  Even if they only have a few lines I would suggest giving these people names, especially at the beginning.

‘The Subject’ being called that throughout left me feeling clinical about the creature.  I think should reconsider calling him this because you miss a great opportunity for me to feel some sympathy for this poor man who was forcibly included in a genetics experiment.

Besides the above, I thought there were a few minor tweaks you could make to improve things.    

Ernie could be made a bit more sympathetic, I didn’t feel much for him when he went.

Cody’s dialogue seemed to me at times to be a bit young for his age.