Dreamscale,

I have been reading other scripts on SS and writing comments, it's the first thing I did when I joined. I understand the concept of give and take. I may not have the same expertise that you may have, but I write what I can. And honesty without harshness does exist in criticism. Harsh tones, will cloud your point as chunky wording will cloud the story.

You seem to have a great deal of expertise, I wish you could share that with someone who clearly needs it like myself.

You also misunderstood the question I ask about my script, or you kinda did anyhow. It wasn't "why aren't people reading my scrip?"  It's for those who do, are they going to bother going past the first scene? Or is the script so over-written and chunky that no one will bother? (by the couple of really good answers I got) I thought this was clear.  It was a question of what am I to expect on this forum, so that I can make a plan to improve upon this process.

I've read some of your reviews and you really do seem to know what you're talking about, I wish you could pass some of that wisdom my way. But perhaps my draft is too green for that.

Best,
Kev

Kev, I saw a recent review from you and that's great.  Exactly what I'm talking about.  Your comments were even well conceived.  SS likes peeps like you, so keep on keeping on.

The peeps that get the reads and the help are those that go above and beyond, and/or just seem to have a really good attitude.

I always want to help and I think I gave you lots of good advice.  I don't have a problem with you, man.  If you have any questions on what I said, just ask.

Since the topic of the logline came up, here's what a typical logline needs to be effective:

1. Main character/ protagonist
2. That character's goal
3. An obstacle to the character achieving that goal (this could be an antagonist or a personal flaw)
4. What's at stake; what the character stands to lose, or what negative outcome may occur if they fail in their goal
5. 30 words or less.

Bonus: the hint of an ironic twist, if there is one.

Personally I think loglines are great practice.  It teaches the writer to be expedient and concise, enabling them to deliver all necessary information in a short amount of space, and in a dramatic, attention-grabbing fashion.  If you can write a good logline, it will only improve how you write your screenplay.

My two cents.

Lon, I'll take your two cents any day! Thank you! I am going to work on my logline.

Jeff, thank for your time in reading the script. I will review your initial comments again. I'll try my best to tidy up the script, correct the errors and perhaps we can revisit it again in another draft. Thank you!!

I'm happy to have found this site!!

Hey Kevin. I just started reading your script. I saw vampire and clicked onto it. I have only gotten a few pages in, so I really have no input yet. I can say though that I read through this thread to see what others have said. And so far i can see what they are saying about some things being over writter. However, I love the over writing. I know it may not be industry norm or accepted, but I always prefer a lot of description. I love to visualize what I am reading. Maybe that is why I like reading books.

See, you and I seem to be the same. Over writing. The one script I recently finished, well, I seem to have over written a lot. I didn't think it was a problem since I believe in showing detail. But I guess it isn't all that necessary when script writing. I am still going over my script trying to figure out where to cut out the access.

I am new to all this, so I don't if I can give as good a review as the seasoned pros. I may only be able to let you know if I like the story, can follow it, and what not. I hope I can be of some help as I need to really start reviewing other scripts here so I can get mine posted and commented on.

The one thing I do want to ask everyone though: how important is it that we start WE SEE in the description? I know I have seen shooting scripts (online anyway) where the descrition gives camera direction and what is being shown on screen (usually stating WE SEE or THE CAMERA PANS THE SKYLINE, etc...). I thought it was not needed and shouldn't be done until the director/producer/writer get a shooting script copy together.