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A retired dancer facing mounting hardship in a provincial Chinese town believes a marriage offer from an American tourist is a dream come true, but finds and makes worse trouble when she arrives at his home.
I feel like I've read a version of this logline before...?
The main thing I would say is related to this bit:
...but finds and makes worse trouble when she arrives at his home.
Reads not as compelling as I think it could be.
Are the consequences of her arrival deadly, disastrous, comical? Does she turn his life upside down, resulting in...?
What's the genre? Ah, okay, RomCom. Forget that question.
Regardless, the stakes need to be raised (as a teaser) in that last bit of the logline.
Also, the title. I realise titles are reused a lot, but that's a really well known title with sequels attached sequels. I'd personally think about changing it.
Thanks for the helpful reply. Yes, this is a revised story/logline with focus on the female Chinese protagonist.
I get your point on the title. It might still work. The Third Wheel is another possible title from a piece of dialogue.
Maybe: For a retired dancer facing mounting hardship in a provincial Chinese town, a marriage offer from an American tourist is a dream come true until her arrival at his home stirs a heartache of trouble.
For a retired dancer facing mounting hardship in a provincial Chinese town, a marriage offer from an American tourist is a dream come true until her arrival at his home stirs a heartache of trouble.
This one is definitely better... minor suggestions.
To escape financial hardship, an alluring but aging dancer in a provincial Chinese town accepts a marriage proposal from an American tourist only to discover that heartache is a far worser fate.