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The primary purpose of the SimplyScripts Discussion Board is the discussion of unproduced screenplays. If you are a producer or director lookng for your next project, the works here are available for option, purchase or production only if you receive permission from the author.
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I liked the first part “Known for his prank phone calls, a popular DJ” The rest didn’t draw my attention. I think it could be more concrete. As it is, it’s vague and the only thing it does is suggests a thriller. It could be more maybe
Hello! … popular radio DJ. I like that. I wouldn’t change it. I think popular DJ prankster leads us to believe he might be a club DJ or a wedding DJ or whatever else. Radio DJ offers clarity.
My issue is the end of this. Life or death circumstance is a bit ambiguous. And who is the recipient of this life or death circumstance?
Known for his hilarious prank phone calls, a popular radio DJ may have played his last prank as the joke turns into a life-or-death circumstance.
It's a bit repetitive. You don't need the word "radio." He's a DJ. Radio is a given. As others have mentioned, I'd also lose the word "hilarious." As witnessed by the fact that someone wants to kill him over his prank phone calls, not everyone in your script finds them hilarious. By calling them that, your logline is speaking from one specific character's subjective viewpoint, not the script's objective viewpoint. And it's the script that your log line is supposed to speak for.
I know it sounds persnickety. But one word can make or break an entire idea, give a wrong impression, distract from your intent. It's important to pick and choose your words specifically. A story can be ambiguous, or subjective, or open to interpretation -- but the words you tell it with shouldn't be.
There's repetition in the second half as well. You say "may be his last prank," which implies a life or death situation. And then you immediately follow it by stating concretely that it's a life or death situation. It's redundant. Also, "life or death situation" is a pretty common expression. Imagine how many writers have used those exact words in their log lines. What's another way we can get the same point across?
Here's a take -- understanding, of course, there's no guarantee to its accuracy without having read the script:
A popular DJ, known for his prank phone calls, finds himself the unwitting target of a demented listener intent on exacting lethal revenge for his public humiliation.