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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Discussion of...    Things you are looking for  ›  Good Action Scenes.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: March 13th, 2013, 3:52pm Report to Moderator
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Hey, guys. I'm in the market for well-written, vivid action scenes from amateur scripts here on SimplyScripts. Preferably, I'm interested in scripts located in the Action/Adventure, Thriller or Horror genres and action scenes mainly in the form of gunfights and car chases.

I'd look through all the scripts individually but glancing through all of each to pick out particular scenes/sequences is a daunting task. This is just if you've seen really good action scenes within these scripts, please post some up (the title is all I need. I'll do the rest). Try not to post your own just to whore it out, unless you truly do believe you did a good job on said scenes. Basically, I'm looking for really strong action sequences that you would recommend. Thank you in advance.


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Pale Yellow
Posted: March 13th, 2013, 3:56pm Report to Moderator
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I'd recommend Capone and the Great Zombie Massacre by Kevin Lenihan.
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KevinLenihan
Posted: March 13th, 2013, 7:47pm Report to Moderator
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I recommend the script Gangster Squad. Vivid, colorful action. Though if you're a hard rules guy, approach with caution, as this writer is definitely not.

Thanks, Dena!

Note: just re-read and see you called for amateur. Sorry, obviously GS is pro. I thought you wanted something as a reference.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: March 13th, 2013, 8:44pm Report to Moderator
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Dena, I appreciate the suggestion. I checked that one out a while back, but I know it's had two major rewrites (and a title change) since then. I'll definitely give it a good look.

Kevin, props on having CGZM get such high praise. I know that I enjoyed it when I last gave it a read-through. I'm sure it's improved exponentially since then. But, I am in the market to skim action scenes as opposed to reading the whole thing again.

As for your recommendation of Gangster Squad, I'm not big into the rules (if I had it my way, there'd be none), but it still has to be an appealing read. Appealing, to me equals bare bones. I know that seems to contradict what I'm looking for, but there is such a thing and it's that type of action you know when you see it. It's the type that tells you everything and manages to do it in a regular-sized sentence. J. Michael Straczynski's first draft of "World War Z" did it and Aaron Sorkin's posted spec draft (it wasn't a spec, but not the shooting draft) also did. But, I'm definitely going to give yours a look.

Thank you both for the suggestions. =)


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KevinLenihan
Posted: March 13th, 2013, 8:52pm Report to Moderator
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If you are ok with looking at pro scripts, I suggest a couple by F Scott Frasier. One is  called Autobahn, the other, I forget name, but is found footage. Both are all action. Like Fast and Furious on steroids. Both sold, too. PM me if you want.
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nawazm11
Posted: March 13th, 2013, 9:10pm Report to Moderator
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Another pro script worth looking at is Ion if you're into sci-fi action.
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Electric Dreamer
Posted: March 14th, 2013, 9:36am Report to Moderator
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Hey Sean!

I'm curious, why only amateur scripts?
Exhausted the pool of cool pro scripts already?

I do have something that fits the bill.
But the script isn't for public consumption.
It has producers attached, etc.

But a few folks like Pia, Colkurtz and Janet read early drafts.
And they can vouch for the quality of the action set pieces.
Car chase. Speedboats. Attack helicopters in modern day NYC. It's all there.

If that interests you, give a shout.
I can get an early draft to you privately.

Good luck!

Regards,
E.D.


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: March 14th, 2013, 10:34am Report to Moderator
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Kevin, I'm definitely going to check out the ones you sent.

Mohammad, sci-fi will work, so I'll certainly give Ion a look as well.

Brett, actually, I don't typically read pro scripts and spec sales. I know, that's seems a little bass ackwards, but the type of scripts that sell are crafts that people have perfected over an extended period of time. I'm trying to adapt a style off other people's. Long story short (as I tend to ramble): I have no style when it comes to action (as you've seen). I need to create a style I can work with, by seeing how others do it properly. I would definitely like to check that out (as long as it won't cause any issues for you or anything like that). Feel free to send it.

Thank you guys for all your help. =)


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Electric Dreamer
Posted: March 15th, 2013, 10:14am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Mr. Blonde
Kevin, I'm definitely going to check out the ones you sent.

Mohammad, sci-fi will work, so I'll certainly give Ion a look as well.

Brett, actually, I would definitely like to check that out (as long as it won't cause any issues for you or anything like that). Feel free to send it.

Thank you guys for all your help. =)


Script sent!
Hope it helps.

Regards,
E.D.



LATEST NEWS

CineVita Films
is producing a short based on my new feature!

A list of my scripts can be found here.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: March 15th, 2013, 11:30am Report to Moderator
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If it's written up to your usual standards, I should be in for quite a treat. Thank you.

P.S. You sent that message at 11:14. Good times.


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James McClung
Posted: March 15th, 2013, 11:43am Report to Moderator
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I'd check out Breanne's Umbrage if it's still on the site. The action is that was quite well written as I recall.

You can check out my script, Outsiders, if you haven't already (sorry, I don't remember everyone who read it). It's really shoddy and some people don't like the way I write action but it's got a car chase and gun fights to spare. You can be the judge, obviously.


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Mr. Blonde
Posted: March 15th, 2013, 11:46am Report to Moderator
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Anything that helps is certainly welcome, James. I'll check out Umbrage and Insiders (no, I haven't checked it out previously). Thank you, James.


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Electric Dreamer
Posted: March 15th, 2013, 6:46pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from James McClung
I'd check out Breanne's Umbrage if it's still on the site. The action is that was quite well written as I recall.


Super seconded!
I read an impressive off-site draft.

Chat Breanne up for a copy!

Regards,
E.D.



LATEST NEWS

CineVita Films
is producing a short based on my new feature!

A list of my scripts can be found here.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: March 16th, 2013, 12:25pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Electric Dreamer
Super seconded!
I read an impressive off-site draft.

Chat Breanne up for a copy!


Thanks for the second, Brett. It's going to have to wait a couple of days because I'm absolutely drowning in scripts right now. I'm getting some good things on how to approach action scenes, so thank you to everyone for the suggestions. Back to reading. Lol.


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Breanne Mattson
Posted: March 17th, 2013, 4:34pm Report to Moderator
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First off, thanks to James and Brett for recommending one of my scripts. I appreciate that. I could also recommend scripts from either of them. They're both great writers.

That said, Umbrage was originally written in 2006. If you're interested in something more recent, I have a sci-fi action thriller that made the Nicholl quarterfinals and got an honorable mention at Trackingb in 2011. Just let me know.

Addendum: if you're looking for a pro script, Django Unchained is a really good one I read recently.



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Breanne Mattson  -  March 17th, 2013, 6:54pm
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