Hi, in my script, I have the main character list off the objects he needs for the perfect crime.  As he says these objects, I want them to be seen (similar to the movie Sin City when Marv lists what he needs).  Should I put in pieces of action in between the list of items in the dialogue, or is there a special way for this to be done.  Thanks.

-Pat

You could show your character practicing with these items (very quick flashes).  Listing them as they lay on the table would be boring.


Phil

Sorry if I wasn't perfectly clear.  I was more asking how to do this technically with both the dialogue and the action writing.  The actual items won't be in front of the characters, they are actually being said within a voice over and I expect to make quick cuts to each object in different places.  Is there a certain way to do this without writing each new object out as a separate piece of dialogue and then again as a part of action.

-Pat

Maybe you could write it as:

PERSON (V.O.)
Stake.

Person takes three stakes and slides them into his pockets.

PERSON (V.O.)
Cross.

Person kisses a cross necklace and slides it around his neck.

PERSON (V.O.)
Garlic.

Person slides a large loop of garlic over his shoulder like a sash.

ETC. ETC. ETC.

At least that is how I would write it. I may be wrong.

I hope I answered your question the way you wanted to.

Sean

Yes that's exactly what I was was asking about.  Thanks for the help.

-Pat

Onions?


How about this:

EXT.  DRIVEWAY

STAN opens the trunk to his car.

             STAN (V.O.)
    Half-inch nylon rope.  Grappling hook.  Latex
    gloves--

He puts two large duffel bags in the trunk.

             STAN (V.O.)
    Police scanner.  Two Colt 45 calibur semi-
    automatic pistols--

The duffel bags are open, revealing the above mentioned
items, along with road flares, a ski mask, a crossbow and
numerous other 'toys.'

             STAN (O.V.)
     Binoculars.  Hand grenades.  I hope I
     don't have to use those.

He SLAMS the trunk lid down.

             STAN (O.V.)
     But we all know how holidays with
     the relatives can be.




Phil

Maybe you should try to find the Sin City script and see how it's done there.

Unfortunately, from what I've read, Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez didn't even write an actual screenplay for Sin City.  In an interview, Rodriguez said that they just shot it straight from the graphic novel because it was already transcribed so well.

-Pat

Quoted from dogglebe Onions?

My bad. I meant garlic. But hey, some vampire movies could include vampires hating the smell of onions, like some zombies do (like me :-P)

Sean