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I have two characters in an aircraft that communicate over a radio headset, what would be the best way to indicate they are speaking into the mic and not to themselves.
With a telephone, it's easy, you just show the user picking up the phone and saying "Hello".
I was thinking of something like:
CANE (into the mic) Hey. You dead yet?
ABLE (V.O.) I think I might be.
CANE (into the mic) Suck it up, buttercup. We're just getting started. (to himself) ...and it's going to be a long day.
I have about 4 scenes where dialog takes place over the headsets. Do I need to have parentheticals every time they speak? Is the first one enough? Or do I even need them at all?
Thanks for the suggestions.
"You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons." - Blazing Saddles - Jim AKA The Waco Kid 1 completed, 2 more under construction:
I don't think you need them at all, but I'm not a pilot and I'm not sure if it takes anything to initiate communication. I would not have your characters talking to themselves, BTW.
You may want to check out a script like Topgun, or any other such flying movie ad see how they did it, not that you have to copy that, necessarily.
A paren the first time is what I was thinking just so the reader can see how they are speaking to each other. After that it can be inferred.
I did look at a few scripts (Top Gun/Pear Harbor/etc.) but couldn't find anything useful. They all seemed to use a different method (and most were shooting scripts which I've noticed don't follow the same general rules us noobs must to adhere to.)
A far as the intercut, I didn't want to overwhelm the story with too many intercuts so I tried to intermix them with (V.O.)'s/mini-slugs/etc just enough to keep from being annoying to the reader.
Dreamscale: 10-4 on them not talking to themselves. In this case, I just wanted my example to be clear as to what I was looking for.
Leitskev: I'm still here. Just been lurking and writing. Putting the final coat of wax on my first feature now; should be ready to set free this weekend! Over six months to write it... can't wait to hear some feedback.
Thanks again.
"You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons." - Blazing Saddles - Jim AKA The Waco Kid 1 completed, 2 more under construction:
I agree, I prefer the first way you posted, and just say "into the radio" or "into the mic" the first time. I think into the radio is better, myself. They wear helmets, so we don't see them talking, we hear over the radio.