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Six Degrees of Better Dialogue. (currently 3083 views) |
Mr. Blonde |
Posted: June 26th, 2014, 9:22pm |
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AdministratorWhat good are choices if they're all bad?
LocationNowhere special. Posts3064 Posts Per Day 0.57 |
Okay, I'm the last person to be talking to you about improving your dialogue, but this is a fun game I developed a few years ago while playing Mass Effect. It's something you can practice by yourself, but you're more likely to learn more in a public forum like this.
Anyway, the idea is simple. One person writes an on-the-nose expression that uses no slang terms or anything like that. Then, the next person to respond has to write what the person before them said in six different ways. For example:
I say, "Would you like to come to my house?"
Then, some of the responses could be:
"You wanna check out my place?" "Gonna hang at my crib?" "Interested in seeing my humble abode?" "Mi casa awaits. You coming?"
The point is to try and think of different ways to spin simple, boring sentences. Of course, this helps if you can develop good characters and can pick dialogue that fits your character. However, if you can't, sometimes your dialogue can help you figure out your characters better.
Anyway, the game is designed to help your brain try to recall all the slang terms, expressions, whatever, that you've heard in your life that can help your characters sound more real.
So, the first one I'm putting out is, "Hello, how are you?". |
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SAC |
Posted: June 26th, 2014, 9:38pm |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3208 Posts Per Day 0.78 |
"Sup? "How goes it?" "What's shakin baby? "How ya doin?" "What's good?"
Something like that? |
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Dreamscale |
Posted: June 26th, 2014, 9:39pm |
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Guest User
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Mr. Blonde |
Posted: June 26th, 2014, 9:40pm |
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AdministratorWhat good are choices if they're all bad?
LocationNowhere special. Posts3064 Posts Per Day 0.57 |
Yep. Just like that. Now, you should post an expression of your own for the next person to come up with six. |
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mmmarnie |
Posted: June 26th, 2014, 9:41pm |
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January Project Group
Posts1085 Posts Per Day 0.22 |
I'm from Jersey so ... "Hey...How you doin'?"
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SAC |
Posted: June 26th, 2014, 9:42pm |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3208 Posts Per Day 0.78 |
Okay...
"You feeling okay?" |
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Grandma Bear |
Posted: June 26th, 2014, 9:53pm |
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Administrator
LocationThe Swamp... Posts7963 Posts Per Day 1.35 |
Great thread, Sean! |
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Mr. Blonde |
Posted: June 26th, 2014, 10:00pm |
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AdministratorWhat good are choices if they're all bad?
LocationNowhere special. Posts3064 Posts Per Day 0.57 |
Okay...
"You feeling okay?" |
"You doing all right?" "You're not looking so hot." "Things all good at home?" "Got a bug?" Off-hand, I've only got those four. "Car". |
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Reel-truth |
Posted: June 26th, 2014, 10:08pm |
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New
LocationBrooklyn, NY Posts90 Posts Per Day 0.02 |
You good? You alright? (or a combination) You don’t look so good. You alright? Fuck happened? You look like shit |
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Reel-truth |
Posted: June 26th, 2014, 10:30pm |
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New
LocationBrooklyn, NY Posts90 Posts Per Day 0.02 |
Oh I didn't even see you added “Car”
Wip Hooptie Pussy wagon Wheels Ride Lemon
I’ll keep it going…uh…” It was nice to meet you” (formal) |
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Nomad |
Posted: June 27th, 2014, 9:13am |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts721 Posts Per Day 0.15 |
"It was nice to meet you"
- This encounter didn't totally suck.
- Running into you was the best thing that ever happened to me.
- Some days I feel like the world is full of morons, but not today.
- Quite pleasurable was this impromptu rendezvous.
- I wouldn't kick you out of bed for eating crackers.
- Boy, yer nicer than kitten kisses on a sleepy Sunday mornin' after winnin' blue ribbon on ma hog, Charlotte, down at the County Fair.
- I can't understand why your mom would call you a douche bag.
"I'm very upset and want you to leave before I do something I regret." |
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Revision History (1 edits) |
Nomad - June 27th, 2014, 10:19am | | |
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Reply: 10 - 23 |
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Gary in Houston |
Posted: June 27th, 2014, 2:34pm |
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January Project Group
LocationTexas Posts1306 Posts Per Day 0.31 |
"I'm very upset and want you to leave before I do something I regret."
--Get the fuck out before I beat the ever-lovin' shit out of ya! --You don't hear too well do you? Leave before I gouge your eyes out and skull fuck you! --I suggest you hit the road unless you want me to stick this shotgun up your ass and blow away your intestines. --Beat it, you four eyed fuck, or I'll will reign holy shit down upon that catastrophe that you call a face! --You wanna get the hell outta here, or do you need me to personally show you how to fall down 8 flights of stairs?
I couldn't think of a sixth one.
Here's one I hear all the time: "Can I ask you a question?" |
| Some of my scripts:
Bounty (TV Pilot) -- Top 1% of discoverable screenplays on Coverfly I'll Be Seeing You (short) - OWC winner The Gambler (short) - OWC winner Skip (short) - filmed Country Road 12 (short) - filmed The Family Man (short) - filmed The Journeyers (feature) - optioned
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LC |
Posted: June 27th, 2014, 7:18pm |
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Administrator
LocationThe Great Southern Land Posts7636 Posts Per Day 1.34 |
Good job with those last two, guys. Very entertaining and inventive.
"Can I ask you a question?"
- I'd love to know what goes on in that head of yours. - Mind if I pick your brain? - You look like a guy with all the answers? - A little birdy told me you're in the loop, so spill. - Whassup, then? - What do I need to know, right now?
Okay, so next one is:
'How'd you like to go on a date, with me?' - should be easy. |
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khamanna |
Posted: June 28th, 2014, 1:45am |
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January Project Group
Posts4195 Posts Per Day 0.79 |
How'd you like to go on a date with me
How about running into each other tomorrow night for a cup of coffee after a movie and hearty dinner at Pauls? Would you like to go out for a stroll and coffee? You can tell your friends it's a date - I wouldn't mind. I never dated anyone simply because whenever I ask a girl for a date the answer is no. I would like you to take me out.
Only four and writing frommy phone - I think this deserves more examples, please add on. |
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Christianne |
Posted: June 28th, 2014, 11:35am |
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New
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"How'd you like to go on a date with me?"
•You down for dinner Friday night? •So they have this free dinner special thing going on at the Outback right now.. I know, crazy right? We should check it out sometime. •Do you eat? •I'll be at Cafe Monet grabbing coffee around 8PM if you're bored tonight. •I reckon a lass like you ain't too fond of bein' by yerself all the time. Maybe ya'd like ta join me fer some fixin's tonight? •Have you ever experienced Denny's guilt food at two in the morning after a drink?
New one: Haven't I seen you around before? |
| "The unexamined life is not worth living." --Socrates
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Nomad |
Posted: June 28th, 2014, 4:44pm |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts721 Posts Per Day 0.15 |
"Haven't I seen you around before?"
- New here?
- You look like that guy I was gonna kill yesterday. Wait...no, that's tomorrow.
- Your facial features and demeanor spur a feeling of recognition.
- What's a girl like you doin' in a place like this?
- You were the guy dressed as Slave Leia, right?
- You sure your name's not Da-nishqua? You sure look like a Da-nishqua.
"I would like to have sex with you but I don't have any money." |
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Abe from LA |
Posted: June 29th, 2014, 7:54am |
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Been Around
LocationDowney, California Posts556 Posts Per Day 0.08 |
“I would like to have sex with you, but I don’t have any money.”
• I could rock your world, but something tells me you don’t come cheap.
• If we could make love just this once, it might inspire me to get a job.
• As God is my witness, if I had ten dollars I would bet you right now that I won’t c*m in your mouth.
• What do you say we skip dinner and the movies, and cut to the bedroom chase?
• Condoms are overpriced, besides everybody knows you can’t get pregnant on your first time.
• It’s not entrapment if you do me and don’t ask for money.
“Don't take this personal, but it's not working out.” |
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LC |
Posted: June 29th, 2014, 9:02am |
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Administrator
LocationThe Great Southern Land Posts7636 Posts Per Day 1.34 |
“Don't take this personal, but it's not working out.”
- It's not you, it's me. - I'm just not good at relationships. - It it was any other time... I'm just not in a good place. - I think you're wonderful but you can do a whole lot better than me. - I really am a big shit, you know it and I know it. You're better off...
So, now one of my all time favourite (sarcasm, there) pieces of dialogue:
'Don't you dare die on me, dammit.' |
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stevemiles |
Posted: June 29th, 2014, 9:45pm |
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January Project Group
Posts745 Posts Per Day 0.16 |
"Don’t you dare die on me dammit!"
-Stay with me, you just stay with me. -Try not to move, especially if it’s towards a bright light. -You can't go, I need you here. -Die on me and I swear I’ll make it look like a sex act gone wrong. -Don’t die on me. Pass out a little if you want, maybe even soil yourself from shock, just don’t die. -I'm not gonna let you go like this, the insurance would never cover it...
One I see a lot:
‘How could you do this to me? I trusted you.’ |
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Reel-truth |
Posted: June 30th, 2014, 4:33pm |
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New
LocationBrooklyn, NY Posts90 Posts Per Day 0.02 |
"How could you do this to me, I trusted you."
-You back stabbin' son of a bitch, I thought we were family. -Out of all people, you fuck ME over? -Never thought it be you to stick it in my back. -When there's cheese, there's a rat. You my friend are a fuckin rat. -We played in the sandbox together, and this is what you do? -Teaches me for not signing that pre-nub. I hope you fall asleep and burn alive in that house. Bitch.
"Why are you so mad?" |
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mmmarnie |
Posted: June 30th, 2014, 4:46pm |
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January Project Group
Posts1085 Posts Per Day 0.22 |
"Why are you so mad?"
"Did someone piss in your Cheerios this morning?" "I guess it's better to be pissed off than pissed on." "What crawled up your ass and died?" "Turn that frown upside down or I'll punch you in the ear." "Don't be such a Debbie Downer."
"I'll see you later."
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LC |
Posted: June 30th, 2014, 6:39pm |
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Administrator
LocationThe Great Southern Land Posts7636 Posts Per Day 1.34 |
"Don’t you dare die on me dammit!"
-Try not to move, especially if it’s towards a bright light. -Die on me and I swear I’ll make it look like a sex act gone wrong.
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Ha! Very good. |
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Ledbetter |
Posted: June 30th, 2014, 11:00pm |
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Guest User
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I'll see you later.
I'll see you in hell Perhaps we can do coffee I'll see you in hell serving coffee and no it won't be at Starbucks Where in the hell have I seen you before Coffee, only spelled with a K, ma'am...
What's that smell?
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Josh |
Posted: July 1st, 2014, 11:34pm |
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New
Posts84 Posts Per Day 0.02 |
"What's that smell?"
*Sniff* I hope that's not me! My olfactory sense ain't agreeing with this. This is either a great landfill or a shitty candle shop. What died in here? My nose is saying no, but I'm saying... yeah, I'm also saying no. Whoever's getting friendly with a skunk, COOL IT!
I could only come up with ones that related to said smell being bad, don't know what that says about me.
"Don't go." |
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