Quoted from mmmarnie I read Truby after I wrote my first 2 features. When I dissected them I found that I had naturally followed this formula, without even knowing it. I think many writers do. IMO, it's just a common way to tell a story.

It is a common way to tell a story, but I could tell he was following specific formulas, it was really obvious throughout.

It's specific down to the nitty gritty: Like defining the hero's moral weakness, then having a moment where that moral weakness hurts someone else..in this story it's Ana's disregard for others that hurts Seth.

Quoted from Colkurtz8 I concur with this completely. Although an annoying character can work too if they have some other quality i.e. comedic. There are a lot of great annoying characters in cinema.

I should've been a bit more careful here. In a comedic context, an annoying character could work great if coupled with a "straight" type or as a supporting character. Not always (the film Due Date comes to mind), but often. I don't know about an annoying protagonist, though, especially outside of comedy. Unfortunately, I'm at a loss of an example right now that isn't blatantly bottom of the barrel, e.g. Vin Diesel in XXX.

One example that kinda worked recently was Adam Sandler's character in Uncut Gems. But again, he didn't annoy me to the point where I didn't enjoy the film (more so, he annoyed the other characters and I got to watch the chaos). His character did undercut the tension for me, though, especially the ending, because I thought the character was such a lowlife.

Ana might actually be similar to the Adam Sandler character in a sense. In the beginning of both works, there isn't so much of a plot until the characters begin to deliberately imperil themselves and others out of self-interest, which is frankly compelling in its own way. Sandler's character, I found much more compelling though. He seemed to be a lot more fully realized in his badness and had something of a purer, darker vice. Social media obsession tends to be more embarrassing than anything.

Uncut Gems is a good example actually.

Yeah, the social media obsession is altogether more frivolous but when it's revolving around a murder it suddenly becomes serious, even if the whodunnit elements of the script are it's weakest component.

Bit under the weather (no, not hungover!), so I'll just jump on to what others have said real quick. Overall, I thought the story was decent until the final reveals...

Quoted from Grandma Bear One thing I did like though was that Ana's actions led that couple, that can't remember the name of right now, to take action into their own hands and thus killing the wrong person. That is something Ana should really have felt bad about, IMO.

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films I agree, the "Fans" are probably the most interesting thing in the story, yet they are in it so little that the revelation has no power.

Agreed all around. Loved the idea of it, but there's so much missed potential.

It makes Ana fully culpable. Not only has her podcast destroyed the peace and quiet of this town, its actually causing murders. The podcast body count is now on par with the murder she's trying to solve.

Yet, I didn't feel much. The fans are in like two scenes, so maybe it was lack of overall screen time, or lack of significant reaction from Ana... all I know is it was a pretty big letdown for me.

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films It'd be far more effective if the Cop was present throughout, was very helpful, established a strong relationship with Ana..and then there was the reveal.

Agree!

Quoted from Colkurtz8 The former. Do you believe it's necessary? I guess that will answer the latter part of your question.

Not necessary at all. Just has to be a compelling character for me to enjoy it. But I would probably never want to write one as a main character. I find the tried and true (flawed) heroic character way more fun to write.

Quoted from MarkItZero Not necessary at all. Just has to be a compelling character for me to enjoy it. But I would probably never want to write one as a main character. I find the tried and true (flawed) heroic character way more fun to write.

Fair enough

I may ramble incohesively…

The story wasn't anything to jump up and down about. It was pretty generic, didn't thrill me to the point where I had to turn the next page. Once I got involved I was like, yeah, I wanna know who did it, sure. However...

It was a well rounded story in that it had Ana, sort of your anti-hero. Like her or not, her curiosity drove the story. There was a clear goal - find the killer. Stakes - possible death, disappointing her legions of podcast fans. The real killer was found. The end. All wrapped up neatly in a bow. Perhaps too neat, but everything was taken care of. And it was kind of, sort of, a fun ride at times. Once in W. Virginia it got more interesting as your cast of possible murderers were maybe the most well drawn characters in the story.

Actually, now that I think more on it, I'm not quite sure what made this story sell for six figures. It wasn't great, nor impressive. Not a snore fest, mind you, but not great.

Say what you will, but this read like the writer knew exactly what he wanted to do here, I'll give him that much. How many of us have tried to write something and freaking slaved over it, trying to get every little detail right? Tie everything up and not leave any loose ends. This story looks like it was well thought out, and was certainly well executed.

For as much as it may appeal to some of the younger crowd, it's not really all that edgy. It's not a modern day Psycho or anything that monumental. I'll tell you one thing, I bet the trailer is going to look really good on this.

A few more fever-induced ramblings...

Quoted from Grandma Bear So, I think when you really think about it, this story isn't really about who killed Dora, see I remembered her name. It's really about what lengths Ana is willing to go in order to get her show to be the biggest and herself famous. I guess that's why the story works. As a whodunnit, it's weak.

I think you've really nailed the fundamental problem with what the writer is trying to do. He's using a story form that's ultimately about the search for truth... to tell a story about the perversion of that ideal.

The only good thing about the lame dying cat backstory is it presents a search for truth in its purest form. A child trying to find out what happened to her pet... not for fame or re-tweets or podcast memberships... but to discover what really happened.

By the end of this film, we're forced to accept (along with Seth) that any ideal Ana had towards truth-finding has been entirely corrupted.

But along the way, why should we care about this case when the main character has no real personal attachment and seems more concerned with tweets trending?

I guess you do have to have a strong ghost as Rick mentioned. At the initial podcast recording, Ana can re-tell the emotional story of how her sister died in a fire and she's reminded of it every time she thinks about Dora.

That way, we feel more initial sympathy. This case has personal significance. You could even have the crazed fan have a similar background, which is what sets off her sick obsession.

BUT... here's my idea... at the very end when Ana is trying to survive the crazed fans, she can break down and admit she made up the whole sister dying thing. It was all to drum up more support for her podcast. Crazy fan goes completely berserk at this admission, opening up an escape.

How's that sound? Completely absurd?

Okay, back to bed. Hope I don't have CORONAVIRUS!!!

I'm more of a thought that as Ana was very quick to point the finger at the three suspects and send them to trial by social media, as a punishment of sorts she should have been subjected to the same scrutiny by another rival podcast.
Give her an appreciation of the angst and eventual murders of two of the people she chose to put on show.
An eye for an eye in olde religious terms.

Quoted from Geezis I'm more of a thought that as Ana was very quick to point the finger at the three suspects and send them to trial by social media, as a punishment of sorts she should have been subjected to the same scrutiny by another rival podcast. Give her an appreciation of the angst and eventual murders of two of the people she chose to put on show. An eye for an eye in olde religious terms.

Good idea.

Okay, so I think we learned a couple of things here. The number one take away for me was something that I new already, but probably had come to not worry so much about anymore, cliff hangers! Have them often and near the end of the page to keep the reader reading. Clean sparse writing where every word matters and paints clear visuals with as few words as possible. If you can do that, then you're one step ahead already. Imo, you all could have written this script. So, let's do it. Let's go write something the reader can't put down.

Thanks for taking part everyone!  

Quoted from Grandma Bear Good idea. Okay, so I think we learned a couple of things here. The number one take away for me was something that I new already, but probably had come to not worry so much about anymore, cliff hangers! Have them often and near the end of the page to keep the reader reading. Clean sparse writing where every word matters and paints clear visuals with as few words as possible. If you can do that, then you're one step ahead already. Imo, you all could have written this script. So, let's do it. Let's go write something the reader can't put down. Thanks for taking part everyone!

Thanks for getting this started, Pia.

I never even would have known those cliffhangers were there until you pointed out the one on page 1. Then similar ones on 2, 3 and 4 and what have you. Smart tactic that I'm sure was done intentionally.

That, and I think it's so important, in any genre in fact, to have conflict and suspense regarding your characters. We certainly saw a lot of conflict with Ana and Seth -- her being so pushy to get to the truth, him not wanting to get the shit kicked out of him. Which, of course happened. And there were amounts of conflict, to one degree or another, with pretty much everyone Ana came into contact with. Hell, even the lady answering phones at the police station didn't like Ana.

Definitely something for all of us to keep in mind going forward.

Quoted from Grandma Bear Thanks for taking part everyone!

This was a great exercise. Thanks, Pia!!

Thank you for running this, Pia.