Hey all—

I found this in a search and thought it might be helpful to some when you’re trying to construct that pesky logline.

1. Who is my protagonist?
2. What is his/her primary goal or need?
3. What or who is in the way?
4. What must s/he do to overcome the obstacle?
5. What's at stake?
6. Optional: What is unique about the story or what kicks it off?

This is how the author answered those questions. I tried it with my new WIP and came up with a pretty solid logline first time out of the gate.

Here's how I answered for my currently optioned action screenplay:
- A former CIA golden boy.
- Avenge his lost friend.
- A hidden traitor.
- Kidnap the US President.
- His new team's lives.

So, let's see your answers put into a logline.

Quoted from Zack So, let's see your answers put into a logline.

A lonely and sexually repressed horror writer must confess his love for a local flock of sheep or risk sabotaging his dreams of creating an hybrid army that can both fight and provide endless amounts of wool.

Brilliant! Sounds like a winner to me. Where do I invest, Sir?

You can title it... The Violence Of The Lambs!

Quoted from Zack Brilliant! Sounds like a winner to me. Where do I invest, Sir? You can title it... The Violence Of The Lambs!

Love it. Hey, you set me up good.

Ok, Zach. I’ll bite—


1. Who is my protagonist?
A successful resort saleswoman
2. What is his/her primary goal or need?
To get a long awaited promotion
3. What or who is in the way?
A handsome new bartender
4. What must s/he do to overcome the obstacle?
Balance her feelings
5. What's at stake?
Risk losing the promotion
6. Optional: What is unique about the story or what kicks it off?

A successful resort sales woman, who’s in line for a major promotion, must balance her feelings for a handsome new resort bartender or risk sabotaging her promotion and upending her routine-oriented life.

That’s pretty much what I came up with. I like literally email other writers (one other writer anyway) and post help threads when it comes to logline as, so I didn’t think this one was half bad.

Steve

Steve, you know I'm a fan of yours, and pardon moi for butting in, but imh you can do much better than that using the equation.

Number 5: What's at stake?
Her routine-oriented life will be upended? Bit bland to finish on. Your choice of sabotage is better.
Balance her feelings: Too tame. No real stakes there.

What's at stake here is love or career. Can she have both or will she have to sacrifice one for the other? She's previously had her life mapped out. Maybe she can have both but what does she have to do to make that happen?

Abridged version: A successful resort sales-woman must make a choice (is forced to make a choice) between a life-changing career promotion or love.

Btw, delete one of the 'resort' mentions. (Resort Bartender we'll get)

Libby,

I get what you’re saying. I’ll certainly think on it some more, of course. Just saying this was the first one I came up with is all.

Honestly, she isn’t forced to make any kind of choice really. It’s not that life or death so that would be misleading the reader. Early on I tried to make it like dating was a big no no at the resort, but I kinda steered away from that as there were too many extras in the story to play with and that kind of got lost.  However, it does upset her routine. But that actually turns out to be a good thing. It’s really the journey she takes, and the ups and downs. I pretty much just finished writing this today, so I’m sure the edits will (hope) bring out some extras I can throw in.

Quoted from SAC Libby, I get what you’re saying. I’ll certainly think on it some more, of course. Just saying this was the first one I came up with is all. Honestly, she isn’t forced to make any kind of choice really. It’s not that life or death so that would be misleading the reader. Early on I tried to make it like dating was a big no no at the resort, but I kinda steered away from that as there were too many extras in the story to play with and that kind of got lost.  However, it does upset her routine. But that actually turns out to be a good thing. It’s really the journey she takes, and the ups and downs. I pretty much just finished writing this today, so I’m sure the edits will (hope) bring out some extras I can throw in.

I hear you, Steve.
And you finished today? Great stuff.

Quoted from LC And you finished today? Great stuff.

Yup. Already on the rewrite. When they come, they come quick.

Way, way back when, a guy whose name I don't remember laid it out to me that the simplest way to write a logline is the ABCDE approach:

A = inciting incident
B = protagonist
C = necessity
D = opposition
E = stakes

When (A) happens, (B) must (C) or (D) will (E).

Lots of wiggle room, you don't have to adhere strictly to that structure. I've actually personalized it a bit since, but this basic approach hits all the necessities.

I found the formula I liked on thestorydepartment.com.  Basically the same as above.

When [a major event happens], a(n) [flaw + main character] must ([overcome the flaw], and) [do/pursue the main action/goal].

The character journey is hinted at through the flaw, but you can emphasise it further if you wish.

For Jaws, this becomes:

When a swimmer is killed by a great white, a bureaucratic sheriff must take responsibility, protect the people, and kill the shark.