All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
My apologies to Bruce and the rest of The Lunchroom writers. I couldn't complete the segment I should have written and I feel that I let you guys down. My apologies.
The next episode up is "Home Is Where The War Is" which is written by Myself and Alan Holman. It deals with Reicther's problems with an Iraqi Exchange student named Joseph Said. There will also be Subplots about "Indiana Health Week" that include The Bird Flu and a Sex Survey.
I hope you will enjoy it.
Everything Must End...
The Final Episode of The Lunchroom Coming Summer 2010
"See How They Run" I know I wrote this episode but I wanted to read the stuff you added in and let me be the first to say Hilarious. Alfie's walking while high with the cops is just naturally funny.
The lucky charms flashback is good as well.
I remember my version being a little darker than this, you lightened it up and made it more of a comedy. I guess if you release it as an originals people will read a different episode as originally it was another character and no flashbacks.
It feels as if you cut a lot of my building dialogue as well, I can't remember exactly though. At least you kept my descriptions for the most part ha-ha.
I still think your changes made it better and all so thanks for giving me the opportunity to write an episode and all.
Wow, I vaguely remember a bit of collaboration about that story for episode five. Now I have the urge to submit more scenes to Bruce and see if I'm pleasantly surprised with co-writer credit at some unpredicted time in the future. I'll definately try to come up with something ... hopefully before the end of the year.
Hey Wesley. I read your episode and got a couple of good laughs out of it. I can see how this is a piece that kind of stands alone, but at the same time, I think I might have liked to come away with a better sense of Reicther's character.
The inmates share their stories, and Reicther is only given a few opportunities to react. This is a perfect scenario for Reicther to experience a little "growth" by the end of the episode, but he seems pretty much the same guy before and after his experiences in the jail.
But maybe this ain't that kind of series -- as I told you, this is really the only episode I've read.
I found Alfie's "cure" to be very, very funny, and was disappointed when I read in your post that this wasn't your idea. But there are other funny parts, too, and Alfie emerges as my favorite character here.
And I can see how this episode could have been much, much darker -- very easily, in fact. I don't know how much they changed this, but having read some of your other stuff, I can assure you that your voice still comes through pretty clear in this one.
If anybody else is curious as to what Wes can actually do (it is so seldom we get a chance to see it), I would encourage you to check this episode out. It's pretty short, and pretty funny, with a nice handful of jailhouse characters.
Bruce gave me an opportunity to write something similar to what I do and yet different, I think if you actually ever see the original episode I wrote it wasn't even Reicther in jail as I've said a few times.
It's odd but I focused heavily on the inmates and not the actual character from this series as they've had 3 seasons to build these characters and I doubt he'd ask somebody like me to write an episode if he just wanted the same stuff he could have written anyway.
I don't ask too many questions so only Bruce could tell you that.
I liked the character in the original draft David may come off a bit more of the good guy and the one people like. I don't know why but some of the characters mimic Oz one of my favorite televisions shows. As in the guy who prays to Allah and the guy who asks if he can teach it to him is exactly the same as the episodes of Oz where Tobias Beecher went to Kareem Said to learn the Koran and about Allah or one of those religions. (Fanboy moment ha-ha)
All I needed was a guy in a wheelchair narrating the episode and it was an episode of Oz set in a different universe where the characters aren't as violent, not as much nudity and shower scenes or pointless flashbacks to naked women.
I checked this out, and I'm not sure which parts are and aren't yours, but I thought I'd give you a little feedback.
I haven't read any of the other episodes, so I kinda went into this blindly, knowing nothing about the characters or what this was really about, and tried to look at it as a short on its own. I think this method may have ended up working out, since I thought the storyline was decent, and I laughed a few times in the process, especially during the scene with Alfie and the police.
A couple things I didn't care for:
Eamonn's "Excuse me while I whip this out". I thought the retort by the girls was pretty funny, but I had a hard time not thinking of "Blazing Saddles". Maybe that was your intention, I don't know.
When David finishes beating on Alfie. Alfie just lies there and says "What's with the numbness in my legs". For me it was just too casual.
And finally the sterotypical humor at Ryan's expense. These things can be funny in moderation, but one too many uses can really kill it. I can't put too much on this one though, since it's a really hard hand to play, and I've been guilty of it myself.
Overall, I thought this was pretty funny, and like I said, is an enjoyable read without having read any of the previous episodes.
Bruce, back when Season 2 was new, you asked people to say what they thought the best and worst episodes were. I definitely think that "I'm Up Here" is the best episode, especially the phone scene, that was hilarious. Sorry to say it, but I think "Join The Army" may need a bit of work.
Pages: 1, 
Author
Lunchroom: Season 4
Logged
